Morning Links: ‘Hobbit’ Returns With New Trailer, Two More ‘Fast and Furious’ Movies In The Works

● Nearly ten years since the first movie rocked theaters, Peter Jackson takes us back to Middle Earth in this first The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey trailer. [Huff Post]

● James Franco is in talks to play the Hugh Hefner to Amanda Seyfried’s Linda Lovelace in the upcoming biopic. [Variety]

● Feeling lost in the wake of Bored to Death‘s? The show’s creator Jonathan Ames wants to buy you a drink and make it all better, tonight at the Brooklyn Inn. Rumor has it John Hodgman will be there, too. [Gawker]

● The Dutch magazine editor who let a racial slur about Rihanna go to print has resigned amidst much controversy. Meanwhile, Rihanna has been invited by the publisher to give her piece in the magazine’s next issue. [THR]

● Vin Diesel let slip that the sixth installment of the Fast and Furious series will actually be two movies, in order to accommodate the growing cast of characters and an ambitious plot line. [THR]

● Six-year-old Kal-El Cage sounds almost as nutty as his father, Nic. The little Cage barged backstage after attending a recent performance of Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark to explain to the show’s lead that he was named after that other hero, Superman, and told him that, "I’d fly with you, but I don’t have my cape." [Page Six]

Afternoon Links: Katy Perry Is Not Getting A Divorce, Nic Cage Sold A Really Expensive Comic Book

● Ignore the rumors: Katy Perry and Russell Brand are too busy giving each other tattoos to get divorced. Sort of like the way Katy is too busy drinking to have a baby. [TMZ/People]

● The gesture’s thoughtful, but Beyoncé is not at all interested in your hot sauce and pickles and bananas, thank you very much. "That is disgusting!" she says of her rumored pregnancy cravings. [Us]

● Questlove says that D’Angelo’s next album (finally!) is 97% done and that "it’s going to be the black version of [The Beach Boys’] Smile." [P4K]

● Lucky Nic Cage just sold one–just one!–of his comic books for a record breaking $2,161,000. Granted, it was the first-ever Superman comic, but still. [NYT]

● All the products Lady Gaga has ever hawked in one place. How stars are made! [GoldMedal2/YouTube]

● An Odd Future superfan claims to have Earl Sweatshirt’s first ever track, "WattStax," recorded when the currently MIA boy wonder was just 15 and working under the name Sly Tendencies. [CoS]

● 50 Cent has signed the Jersey Shore‘s DJ Pauly D to his G-Note label. Does this mean Pauly D and his Shore-mates will be trading out their beloved Gatorade for Vitamin Water next season? [Huff Post]

Morning Links: Nic Cage Arrested in New Orleans, Lil B Names Next Album ‘I’m Gay’

● Nic Cage was arrested this weekend in New Orleans for domestic abuse after a drunken argument between Cage and his wife, Alice, spilled out of a tattoo parlor and on to the streets. Things got truly weird was when “dedicated fan” Dog the Bounty Hunter showed up to post Cage’s bail. [TMZ] ● It seems like Sarah Lane is pretty mad about not being credited for the exact number of pirouettes she did for Black Swan, but she insists it’s not like that. “They threatened the entire principle of ballet,” she’s now saying. Really! It’s not about the fame, just the art. “I don’t feel disgruntled, but I did wish she could have said something nice about ballet instead of saying it’s horrible and that it was awful.” [EW] ● Eddie Vedder on his upcoming ukulele record: “Can I make this happy little instrument as depressed as I am?” [NYT]

● The arguably better-looking Prince Harry is going to look extra-nice at his brother’s wedding in his newly upgraded Captain’s uniform. [People] ● Rachel Zoe has been regularly stopping by the Beckham’s, offering advice and helping Victoria maintain her figure during pregnancy. It’s all left Victoria a bit moody, “constantly snapping and berating David and her staff over the smallest things,” but surely they’ll forgive her when she looks great in a bikini moments after giving birth. [Daily Mail][PopSugar] ● “Fuck what anybody else think,” said Lil B before announcing that he’s calling his next album I’m Gay. The rapper maintains his interest in females while often referring to himself as a “pretty bitch” and rapping to a mostly young, male audience about oral sex. “I’ma show you all that words don’t mean shit.” [RapRadar] ● For those who missed the 2am live-stream, Kanye’s truly epic Coachella performance is well worth the revisit. [NahRight]

All the Nic Cage You Ever Wanted in One Amazing YouTube Clip

I’ve already spilled the beans on my Nicolas Cage man-crush, but being that it’s the holiday season, I thought I’d spread a little more love to my favorite balding action hero. How fortuitous, then, that I came across this amazing YouTube compilation, a montage of every scene in which Cage does what he does best: trips the light fantastic, loses his shit. It’s all backdropped by a perfectly maudlin score, courtesy of Clint Mansell and his work on Darren Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream. And while the scenes in this montage do not necessarily spread holiday cheer, they somehow manage to warm my waning, cold-ridden spirit on this chilly morning. Watch Nicolas Cage be the best and worst actor of his generation, after the jump.

Video above.

Links: Nic Cage Gets the Joke; Iggy Pop Hits the Floor

● A new and illuminating Nic Cage interview indicates what Bad Lieutenant hinted at — the man is a genius: “You don’t karate chop Leelee Sobieski in the throat and not know how absurd that is.” [Ain’t It Cool] ● But what does Hitler think of Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James getting with a Nazi on the side? Funny you should ask… [Vulture] ● Jay-Z stars in a 15 minute Absolut vodka commercial parading as “art” or a documentary, but don’t let the black and white fool you: this is about getting drunk. [OnSmash]

● Iggy Pop has retired from crowd surfing after the audience at New York’s Carnegie Hall cleared the way and let him fall. Maybe, you know, it’s time to hang it up? [NME] ● If you couldn’t make it to SXSW, the internet can tell you which bands were most buzzed about according to social media metrics. [Mashable] ● Edith Zimmerman’s recurring series, “Letters to the Editors of Women’s Magazines,” is all the absurdist humor you’ll ever need. [The Awl]

Links: Air America Lost to Scott Brown, Too; Nic Cage Likes His Meme

● Liberals are about as good at radio as they are at government: Air America is filing for bankruptcy and going off the air. [Washington Post] ● Mischa Barton is being sued for failing to pay her $7,000-a-month Tribeca rent. In her defense, the landlord keeps refusing rolled up hundreds. [HuffPo] ● A scorned lover of Oracle co-president and Obama cohort Charles E. Phillips purchased billboards and a website to publicize the pair’s illicit romance and her brilliant insanity. [Gawker]

● Nic Cage is “deeply honored” by the Nic Cage As Everyone blog. Cherish it, dude, because memes die like highs. [Asylum] ● Jay Leno will host the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner and it won’t be funny, but it will be his because he said so. [The TV Column] ● Drunken red-face, a.k.a. Asian Glow, might be an evolutionary advantage, kind of like math skills and violin only a little different. [Buzzfeed]