Electric Chair, Drug Dealing Vets, and Queer Kurdish Art Rock

Drug Dealing Inside Miami V.A. Hospital
A V.A. law enforcement officer is accusing Miami’s V.A. Hospital of drug dealing, patient abuse and other crimes.

Twitter Censors ‘Blasphemous’ Tweets
For the first time since it operated in Pakistan, Twitter has begun to censor tweets deemed “blasphemous” or “unethical” by bureaucrats in the Pakistani government.

Putin: Russia Will Respect Ukraine Vote
President Vladimir Putin says that Russia will recognize the outcome of Ukraine’s presidential vote.

Tennessee Brings Back the Electric Chair
Welcome back ‘Ol Sparky. Retro death!

WikiLeaks Says Afghanistan is NSA Target
According to WikiLeaks, the NSA records and stores almost all domestic and international phone calls in Afghanistan, which it says is an important part of the drone targeting program.

Billy Corgan and His Cats Give Us The Magazine Cover We Never Knew We Needed
Billy Corgan featured for his support of a cause that will make you purr.

Meet the New Faces of Queer Kurdish Art Rock
The Berlin-born Turkish singer and songwriter produces songs in two Kurdish dialects. Tekîn’s band Adirjam is gaining steam for being the uniquely first Kurdish queer art rock band.

Google is Working to Build a Wi-Fi Network in the Cloud
Google plans to offer business Wi-Fi services in a very Google-like way; it’s building a virtual Wi-Fi network in the cloud that could connect hundreds of thousands of wireless nodes.

Neil deGrasse Tyson Explains How Rich Bill Gates is
Neil deGrasse Tyson helps put Bill Gates’ fortune in perspective.

Open Carry Gun Craze, Custard Cocaine + NYC’s Lost Village

NYC’s New Megachurch Is More Popular Than Jesus
Despite the L-train aesthetic, Hillsong NYC is actually an extension of a much larger Australian megachurch movement and multimedia conglomerate by the same name.

Seattle’s $15 Minimum Wage Plan Is Probably Not Going to Crash Its Economy
Some writers have been wringing their hands about how the minimum wage hike in Seattle will spell doom, but we should be celebrating instead of panicking.

Why NRA’s Scary “Open Carry” Craze Is Not About Freedom
In the wake of the new Georgia law which pretty much makes it legal to carry deadly weapons at all times in all places, parents were alarmed when an armed man showed up at the park where their kids were playing little league baseball. And there’s nothing they could do about it!

How John Hughes Reinvented The Teen Comedy
Sixteen Candles turns 30 years old this week. It captured the angst of high school existence.

Rob Ford: ‘Rehab Is Amazing’
“I feel great,” he said. “Rehab is amazing. It reminds me of football camp. Kind of like the Washington Redskins camp I went to as a kid.”

Man Tries, Fails To Disguise Cocaine As Powdered Custard At JFK
A Guyanese man was arrested for attempting to smuggle nearly 18 pounds of cocaine inside several bags of powdered custard through JFK.

Video Reveals 140 Years Of Change At Specific NYC Locations
Terrific project recreates George Brainerd’s photographs in present day

The Lost Village In New York City
Smack in the center of New York City, in the confines of Central Park, there are ghostly vestiges of a 19th century neighborhood that once was vibrant and thriving but now is largely forgotten: Seneca Village.

Death Threats, Kitten Torture + Comfortable Airplane Armrests

Death Threats Kill ‘Smart Gun’ Sales
Electronic chips in a smart gun communicate with a watch that can be bought separately. The gun cannot be fired without the watch. Gun nuts issued death threats to some gun shop owners who planned to sell the weapon.

Teens Deny Vine Kitten Torture
Two teenage girls from South Portland, Maine claim they did not intend harm on a kitten by putting it in the microwave and then posting the video on social media.

Friend of Girlfriend Leaked Racist Sterling Tapes
Apparently, the friend was entrusted with the recordings for “safekeeping” in case anything happened, but then leaked them to TMZ without permission.

The Rob Ford Bender Guide to Toronto’s Best Sandwiches
Rob’s decided to check himself into rehab after getting caught smoking crack again. See what sandwiches he likes to eat when fucked up.

Cyclist Arrested For Videotaping Cop During Red Light Stop
“When I tried to record my interaction with the officer I was arrested… in 10 seconds flat.”

Ken Ham’s Answers In Genesis Website Responds To The Newest Episode Of “Cosmos” With A Scathing “Rebuttal”
“We know from the Bible that God created the stars on Day Four of Creation Week about 6,000 years ago, blah, blah, blah…”

A Pickup Artist Appeals To The Shy And Tech-Oriented With His Algorithms For Getting Laid
He teaches tech guys how to get laid like a rock star. 

F. Scott Fitzgerald Stories To Be Published Uncensored For The First Time
Highlights include: Sexual innuendo, drug references and anti-Semitic slurs.

Never Fight For Your Armrest On An Airplane Again
Hong Kong-based Paperclip Design Limited has come up with a clever concept that would eliminate the need to jostle for elbowroom on the plane: the Paperclip Armrest.

Nude Seth Rogan, Hooker Apps + Sterling Sanction

NBA Expected to Sanction Sterling Today
NBA expected to fine and suspend Donald Sterling in a maneuver to force sale of Clippers. I expect this to end with either press conference with girlfriend by his side, rehab, or proclamation that he found Our Lord Jesus Christ…

Russia Promises Not to Invade Ukraine
Ok, just as long as they promise…so stop shooting their protestors!

Google’s Driverless Car Masters City Streets
The tech giant’s self-driving cars already can navigate freeways comfortably, albeit with a driver ready to take control.

Craig Ferguson Leaves the ‘Late Late Show’
Wait? The Late, Late Show is still on TV?  Ferguson will be replaced by Rob Schneider. 

Long-Lost Legendarily Bad ‘E.T.’ Video Game Found In Landfill
A decades-old urban legend was put to rest Saturday when workers recovered “E.T.” Atari game cartridges from a heap of garbage buried deep in the New Mexico desert.

Want A Hooker In Germany? There’s An App For That
A new app is connecting ladies — and gentlemen — of the night with prospective clients in the same area, similar to how Uber and Tinder connect users to cars and dates.

New ‘Godzilla’ Trailer Finally Reveals The Monsters
I haven’t been this excited since it was announced that Meg Ryan was going to voice the mom in the ‘How I Met Your Mother’ spinoff…

Behind Ralph Steadman’s Most Famous Work
“Inside the mind of the legendary artist and provocateur known for ghoulish humans, ink splatter marks, and distorted Polaroids of historical figures and celebrities.”

Nude Paintings Of Seth Rogen By James Franco
That’s all.

Hanksy, Boston Marathon Survivors + Cat Café

Racist Mayor Resigns
The Missouri mayor said last week that he agreed with Frazier Glenn Miller that Jews are ruining the country. Miller, of course, is the murderer of three people at Jewish sites outside Kansas City, as well as a former Klansman. Bye-bye racist mayor!

Three Hollywood Execs Named in Sex-Ring Suit
Leading the charge is X-Men director Bryan Singer.

Gay Scout Leader’s Troop Expelled
The Boy Scouts of America revoked the charter of an official troop because it refused to fire its gay scoutmaster.

Jared Frank Poised To Earn Big Bucks From Kick-In-The-Head Video
Jared Frank is working with a California-based company to earn revenues from his popular YouTube video.

Maimed Survivors Cheer Finishers At Boston Marathon Finish Line
Maimed survivors of last year’s Boston Marathon bombing stood tall, strong and proud at this year’s finish line Monday.

Head Of Onion’s A.V. Club Headed To Entertainment Weekly
Entertainment Weekly has scooped Kyle Ryan from The Onion’s A.V. Club in Chicago, to be the new editorial head of EW.com.

Meet Hanksy, NYC’s Humorous & Humble Street Artist
A blurred-out Hanksy talks about why he does what he does. And his really cute dog.

Cat Café Popping Up In NYC This Week!
Pet food company Purina One will open a pop up pussycat coffee shop this Thursday, April 24th at events space 168 Bowery.

How Silk Road Bounced Back from Its Multimillion-Dollar Hack
The current administrator of the infamous black market site Silk Road (the 2.0 version) wrote back in February on the site’s forums. In total, an estimated $2.7 million worth of bitcoin belonging to users and staff of the site was stolen.

The Slurpee, Bad Cop + Con Bus Ride

Kim Jong-Un ‘Reelected’
How surprising! No one else was on the ballot. 

Baby Charged With Attempted Murder
The baby, Musa Kahn, is charged along with four adults for a violent protest in Lahore in February in which stones were thrown at gas-company workers attempting to disconnect households that didn’t pay up.

Feds Nab Miami Cop In Coke Ring
According to the federal complaint, the officer called himself “the Milk Man” and offered to have hit men dress up in police uniforms with badges so they could pull over drug rivals and shoot them.

10 Hours On A Bus With Newly Released Prisoners
Book your ticket today!

The Invention Of The Slurpee
Now that’s a brain freeze good idea.

Classic Album Covers In Google Street View
From Pink Floyd to PJ Harvey, the Street View specialist shows us the world’s cities through the lens of famous album covers.

Man Cleared Of Murder After 24 Years In Prison
Jonathan Fleming said he had been more than 1,000 miles away, on a vacation at Disney World. Despite having documents to back him up, he was convicted of murder.

How To Detect A Liar
Stop looking for anxiety and start looking for “cognitive load”.

Sex Robots, Ghost Bikes + Dead Archie

‘Ground Zero Mosque’ to be Razed
The mosque opened in September 2011, drawing controversy from critics who objected to a Muslim institution roughly two blocks north of Ground Zero.

Webcam Killer Found Guilty
A Toronto man was found guilty of killing a Chinese student whose last moments were witnessed via webcam by her boyfriend.

Egypt Jails Four Gay Men
A court in Egypt has sentenced four men to up to eight years in prison for committing homosexual acts.

Ghost Bikes Honor All Cyclists & Pedestrians Killed In NYC Last Year
In 2013, 168 pedestrians and 12 cyclists were killed by automobiles in New York City.

Man Arrested For Watching Pornography On The Sidewalk
The police arrested a homeless man in Harlem because he was standing on the sidewalk watching pornography on a portable DVD player.

The Death of Archie
“Life With Archie” #36 hits stores on July 16. It tells the story of how Archie sacrifices himself to save a friend. Archie will die.

Nipple, Penis Or Nostril — What’s The Most Painful Place To Be Stung By A Bee?
The answer will make you say “ouch.”

Robots and Sex: Creepy or Cool?
Let’s face it: the sex robot invasion is not too far away…

Colbert Tweets, Noah Action Man + F-Bombs

Colbert Under Fire for Asian Tweet

Or so says the media. Tweet read: I am willing to show #Asian community I care by introducing the Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever.” Remember: Colbert is a comedian. If you have to explain it, the joke is not funny.

Court Upholds Texas Abortion Law

Major victory for anti-abortion activists: a federal appeals court upheld the challenged parts of a Texas abortion law, which requires doctors performing abortions to have admitting privileges at a hospital less than 30 miles away. This is the year 2014.

Six Arrested for LAX Baggage Theft

Six people have been arrested, and the LAX police chief says as many as 25 are thought to be involved – the accused would just open up the suitcases and rifle through them.

Dozens  Of  New Photos  Released  From  Kurt  Cobain  Death  Probe

The Seattle Police Department (SPD) has released 35 never-before-seen pictures from the death investigation of Kurt Cobain.

Russian Buildup Stokes Worries

Russian troops massing near Ukraine are actively concealing their positions and establishing supply lines that could be used in a prolonged deployment.

Where The F-Word Came From

It is difficult to trace its origins, although experts believe it is “ancient.” Fucking right!

Gang Member Busted For Stealing Troop Donations From Girl Scouts

A San Diego gang member accused of stealing a jar of cash from Girl Scouts outside a grocery store has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor petty theft.

30 Years For Newlywed Who Pushed Husband Off Cliff

Yes, but who gets to keep the wedding presents?

“Noah”: Aronofsky’s Deranged Biblical Action Flick

Let’s turn the Bible into Mad Max!

NEWS BITES: New Star Wars Plot, Sex Strikes, And Flying Body Part Injuries

Secret Service Men Caught Getting Wasted

One of the agents was found passed out in a hotel hallway in the Netherlands. Whoops.

Russia Warned U.S. on Boston Marathon Bomber

The Russian government warned U.S. authorities that Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev was a violent radical Islamist more than a year and a half before the April 2013 bombing.

Facebook Spends $2B on Virtual Reality

Facebook announced has reached an agreement to acquire Oculus VR, Inc., the leader in immersive virtual reality technology.

IRS: Bitcoin Is Not Currency

Bitcoin will be treated as property and not currency, in tax system.

NJ Transit Train Kills Man Leaning Over Track, Others Injured By Flying Body Parts

Four people were injured by “flying body parts.” Gruesome.

The Fox News Host Goes Off On “Race Hustlers”

Bill O’Reilly rants about the poor: “They grow up with no skills, and they can’t read and speak, and they have tattoos on their neck.”

New Star Wars Plot Revealed

It may tell the story of Han Solo and Princess Leia’s twins…

Ukrainian Sex Strike

Ukrainian women have adopted their own extreme measure to pique Putin’s interest: swearing off sex with Russian men.