Your Daily Guide to Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

Facebook IPO
If Facebook had a dollar for every time someone did a Google search about its stock… Oh, wait, it’s about to. Everyone’s searching for info on Facebook stock because at 11 a.m., when the Nasdaq Stock Market opens, the company’s stock will be available to the public — not really, but the Master of the Universe who will later make a fortune selling it to the actual public — and the company will establish its worth at what’s expected to be about $104 billion. Watch out, folks, a lot of pasty computer types in the Bay Area are about to get exponentially more attractive.

Eduardo Saverin
Because today is going to be all Facebook all the time — sorry, Donna Summer! — people using Google are curious about Brazilian-born Facebook founder Saverin (Andrew Garfield from the movie, kids), who’s doing his best to explain away the recent news that he’s expatriating to Singapore. The web entrepreneur, who supposedly owns about $2 billion worth of the social network, now says he’s not attempting to avoid paying taxes on what’s going to be an enormous windfall today. "My decision to expatriate was based solely on my interest in working and living in Singapore, where I have been since 2009,” he said to Forbes. “I am obligated to and will pay hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes to the United States government. I have paid and will continue to pay any taxes due on everything I earned while a U.S. citizen."

Elin Nordegren
Who cares about Mark Zuckerberg and pals when Tiger Woods’ ex-wife has told her friends she’s looking for a stable relationship. This is the shit that makes the world go round, Yahoo! readers! Anyway, the Norweigan beauty has apparently sent banking scion boy-toy Jamie Dingman packing and is looking for someone who can be a proper step-dad to her two kids. Meanwhile, her ex was just named the most powerful athlete in the world, which can’t make her feel any better on those long, lonely nights curled up in a mansion with her massive fortune.

Tebow Cease and Desist
The intrepid Yahoo! users who are searching out news on virginal Tim Tebow’s cease-and-desist lawsuit must be wondering why the Jesus-loving football star can’t turn the other cheek. You see, a company called Cubby Tees is making knock-off New York Jets shirts that turn the Jets logo into something that says “My Jesus,” not too different from those Coca-Cola rip-offs that say “Cocaine” and things of that nature. But because Tebow is the Jet most closely associated with the guy upstairs, he’s pissed! In a letter, his lawyers wrote, “"The Merchandise makes it appear as if Mr. Tebow actually endorses Cubby Tees and its products.”

#IReallyWantTo
Oh, Twitter. Even when there’s news happening and the world is changing, sometimes you just like to sit there and play with your bellybutton lint, don’t you? Today on the site, the phrase “I Really Want To” is trending, so people are posting their hearts’ desires. It’s awful.

I Really Want 1

I Really Want 2

I Really Want 3