Pornstar Linda Lovelace’s Talents at the Museum of Sex

Porn makes me… uncomfortable. The Museum of Sex (233 Fifth Avenue) makes me… uncomfortable. I guess it’s a generational thing. My youth was spent pining for Ursula Andress, the original Bond girl. Ursula in a bikini was as close as I got to seeing a naked girl. Portnoy’s Complaint was as risqué as my Wonderbread years got. I made up for lost time later on but still… porn makes me uncomfortable.

Walking into “The Eve of Porn: Linda Lovelace” opening last night at the Museum of Sex, I was stunned by the eight foot head of Linda giving head. Over and over again she went up and down in a 35mm loop as the Deep Throat actress showed the flair and enthusiasm that made her a legend. I tried small talk with other guests but alas my mind was elsewhere. Legs McNeil – author of the genius tome “Please Kill Me” – guest listed me. He has a part in this because he has a documentary coming out called “Linda Lovelace’s Loose Lips”. There are stunning photos of Linda by Milton H. Greene who is a celebrated photographer due in part to his “Black Sitting” images of Marilyn Monroe.

The story of Linda Lovelace, her rise to celebrity, her troubles, her trials, her unrighteous path, is all there on white walls with adjacent background stories. The tales of her ups and downs punctuated by her giant head doing just that brought out a smart set. An original 35 mm reel of Deep Throat bought on eBay for $200 was hidden behind glass while Linda Lovelace photographs and a brief history of her role in the beginning of the multi-billion dollar modern porn industry was laid bare. There was Linda warts, scars and all. She seemed more naked, more exposed, more used than ever. I headed into the night feeling uncomfortable about it all.

Tonight the wonderful gentleman/DJ/man about town/bon vivant Ian El Dorado will be doing what he does at Black and White (86 E. 10th Street). It’s his birthday and the beautiful weather should keep the creeps away. Figures to be a great party for rock gods and goddesses. Pacha just celebrated its 8th anniversary, and Dirty South performed. Pacha is still crazy after all these years. Congrats to Eddie Dean, Rob Fernandez and the Pacha family. This weekend they have Cosmic Gate on Friday, and Sunnery James and Ryan Marciano early Saturday, followed by a 4 a.m. start for the incredible Pete Tong with special guest Reboot.

Tonight: Maxim’s ‘World’s Most Beautiful Women’ Party, Domi Dollz’ ‘Shades of Kink’

If Maxim has decided to throw a party for the WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. who am I to argue. They have named the HOT 100 and made a list and I checked it (twice). Some actual top 100s are going to be at this event being held tonight at The Gallery at Dream Downtown hotel, 355 West 16th Street. The music will be brought to you by DJ Vice, underlying that this is a big event – a hot event. Among the attendees is the number one hottest girl in the world from their list (my list has Amanda at the very top): Bar Refaeli. Others who you can strike out with include: Abby Elliot (Saturday Night Live), April Rose (model), Bria Murphy (model), Claire Coffee (General Hospital), Jessica Rafalowski (model), Jenny “JWOWW” Farley (MTV’s The Jersey Shore), Katrina Bowden (30 Rock), Nadia G (TV personality), Rebecca Mader (actress), and many more. This list thing is 12 years young and for the first time ever, the Maxim readers made the selection. What to wear?

Some prophet once said beauty is "in the eye of the beholder" and another said "beauty is only skin deep.” This beholder’s eyes think beauty must have skin covered with tattoos. For me, it don’t mean thing if it don’t have that sting. So I’m sure to find hottie heaven at the 6th Annual NYC Zombie Crawl in my native Williamsburg, Brooklyn this Sunday. It’s presented by the new Resident Evil video game and the BBURG requisite Sailor Jerry Rum and Pabst Blue Ribbon. People will be running around in Halloween in May gear with the grand finale at Public Assembly, 70 North 6th Street, where the girls of burningangel.com will offer up Strip for Pain "America’s Most Dangerous Game Show.” For me, this trumps Maxim’s hot list, but I can appreciate both sides of the coin… even it’s an edge.

Public Assembly will hold live performances by Bikini Carwash (9pm) and Fucking Bullshit (9:45pm). There will be a Rigor Mortis Burlesque Revue, prizes for the best costumes…well, you get the idea. The Zombie Crawl begins at 3:30pm at The Trash Bar, 256 Grand Street, where makeup technicians will, for a small fee ($5), make you look undead. At 3:30 pm on a Sunday in Williamsburg, everyone looks a little undead anyway. Then it’s on to The Grand Victory, 245 Grand Street, where additional Zombie action will be rampant. By 6pm it’s a march down Bedford Avenue, where all will pop into Spike Hill, 186 Bedford, for "flesh hook" performances by Nassau Chainsaw DisGraCeLand Demolition Committee. All will gather after in McCarren Park for photo-ops and a chance to confuse the tourists and nouveau hipsters who discovered Williamsburg by watching HBO’s epic series Girls.

If the Sailor Jerry Rum and PBR’s haven’t gotten the best of me and mine, we’ll head to Bowery Poetry Club, 306 Bowery at Houston, to take in Linda Simpson’s new party "Exhibit A,” Sunday at 10pm, $5.

Exhibit A promises to take "the spectator on an absurd and erotic journey.” That sounds a lot like my third marriage, so I’m there. This is a last-Sunday-of-every- month affair, which sounds like my second marriage. On stage, there will be experimental drag rules, high-concept hostess Sylvia London, sexual outlaw Alexis Blair Penney, and non-stop butch and femme orgy by Dollhaus and Dj Chris P.

Tonight, (and I have told you about this before; pay attention or a spanking may be in order), Domi Dollz presents “Shades of Kink” at – where else – the Museum of Sex, 233 5th Avenue at 27th Street. This event will show you the ropes and other ways to spice up your love life. It’s a perfect place for a couple looking for answers to all the wrong questions and for singles looking for Mr. or Ms. right or wrong. If you have been looking for love in all the wrong places, then this place is perfect for you. It is way wrong – and right.

Tonight: Partying with Erik Foss, Domi Dollz, & Shell Sheddy

I’m not going to sweat it, but I did RSVP for multiple events tonight that I can’t possibly physically attend unless "Scottie" starts to "beam me" around town. Two of them are uptown and the other two are downtown. Guess which two get my fabulous face.

OK, I’m gonna try. First on the list is a group show opening that includes my bro (we even have bro tattoos) Erik Foss. The show WAVE is presented by MISC and includes artists Judy Chicago, Michael St. John, Peter Alexander, Amany Ahmad, Shelter Serra, Colton Brown, Tom Forkin, and Angel Otero. It’s at the Fuller Building, 41 east 57th street, suite 702. If you’re into it, email info@misc-nyc.com or call 917 370 6423. While I’m up there I might as well scoot over to Hudson Terrace, 621 West 46th Street, for the APM Models’ Summer Party. I’m tight with Penny Basch and love their events.

Or, I just may stay south and pop into the last Domi Dollz evening for the summer at the Museum of Sex. These wonderful gals never fail to stand and deliver. They are sexy and sweet – sometimes – and the event promises lots of "boy toys.” The people I have sent to these soirees tell me that they can be life changing for them and theirs. It is quite educational, with zero chance of falling asleep in class.

I will surely attend photographer Shell Sheddy’s opening at Bar 82, 136 Second Avenue. This event starts at 7pm and ends at 11pm, after which the whole posse will scoot over to Hotel Chantelle for the after party, where I will DJ rock and roll with Sam Valentine. The show is titled "LES Images: The Creativity, Community and Struggle Continues," and promises that "we will be graced with Sheddy’s breath-taking visuals of raw humanity and real world, life-affirming spirit."

I also want to mention a fundraiser that I am honored to lend my name to. Old friend Don Welch asked me to help out:

"I need your help with this fundraiser I’m doing for Gwen McCrae; she suffered a massive stroke in London (June 3rd) & is paralyzed on her left side. The family is trying to get her home to Florida & it’s really expensive. I would like to put your name on the invite as a supporter & would love for you to attend. The date of the event is Tuesday August 21st @ ANJA on Little West 12th Street, NYC. Colonel Abrams & Melba Moore so far are the host, but lots of folks are calling in. Let me know what you think. Thanks."

Gwen McCrae is famous for her hit "FUNKY SENSATION.” The dance community has gotten on board big time. The outpouring of support, and the DJs and talent that have since gotten involved speaks volumes of the love and class always shown by Gwen. I will do a follow-up post just before the event to give you more details, but I wanted to get this to you early enough for you to purchase tickets and support this fine lady. Tickets can be acquired from www.ticketweb.com. Call 866 468 7619 for more information.

Ramones Mania: Marky Ramone Performs Sunday, Johnny’s Tome Comes Out Monday

Game of Thrones is just days away. For millions, it will define their Sunday nights. I, alas, will have to TiVo it because I will be swept to The Bell House on a wave of rock and roll nostalgia and friendship. Marky Ramone is in town with his band Blitzkrieg and they will be playing that great Gowanus venue. It will be Ramones’ songs 1-2-3- 4, after each other and it is as close to the real deal as can possibly be. Alas, Joey, Dee Dee, and Johnny have passed on but their legacy will be remembered – Ramone right at this show. Marky is touring and I don’t get to see him much. We are trying to get a dinner in, but it will probably have to wait until he returns from a European tour which will take him and Blitzkrieg to Greece, Romania, Bulgaria, Asia, Spain, Germany, United Kingdom, The Netherlands, and Italy with more dates to be announced. I’m going to catch up with him at the shows and ask him a bunch of questions for Monday’s post.

It’s a very big week for Ramones fans. Johnny Ramone’s posthumous tome Commando: The Autobiography of Johnny Ramone is coming out. Johnny’s wife Linda and pre-Marky drummer and original member Tommy Ramone will be on hand along with John Cafiero (editor and Johnny Ramone autobiography chief-of-staff). It will be at the Tribeca Barnes and Noble (97 Warren Street) on Friday, March 30th where someone, not clear which of them, will be signing books. I will read this book with great interest. Johnny and I were friends for a long while. I got along with Linda just fine when she was Joey’s girlfriend, but things soured (I think) when I was double-dating, with Johnny fixing him up with my friend Lisa. That stuff probably never made the autobiography anyway. It was before I knew about him and Linda. We were hanging at clubs like The Peppermint Lounge. Johnny was very conservative politically and we had many conversations about his right and my left leanings, but we always got along despite that. He was a very sharp guy and, as far as I could tell, the absolute leader of the band. He held them together with his business sense and maniacal devotion to rock and roll.
 
Things got bad when Linda made her shift from Joey to him, but the band played on. The Joey Ramone song "The KKK Took My Baby Away" is thought by some to refer to Johnny stealing Joey’s baby away. I last hung with Johnny a few years ago at the Hudson Hotel Library. He was playing pool with Nicolas Cage, who he had become friends with. Nicolas was really friendly, going out of his way to engage me, but Johnny was quite cold. I questioned him about it as we had never been like that. I was in trouble then and obviously this bothered him, so I bolted. I was surprised when he caught up with me down the long hallway leading to the exit. He wanted to hear my side and I returned with him back to the lounge. We talked frankly, no-holds-barred, as was his norm. It got heated but it was hashed out. We left as friends. I was saddened deeply when he became ill and died. After every show back in the day, I would go backstage and he would turn to me and ask me if it was good and I’d tell him the truth. He knew I would always tell it like it was. He was obsessed with making his fans happy. He was visibly upset when a mistake was made or if he felt one of the other band members had flawed or didn’t share in his enthusiasm. I’m going to pick up a copy of the book but won’t need any signature on it.
 
Domi Dollz
 
In a couple of weeks, on a Thursday before my DJ gig at Hotel Chantelle, I will join the Domi Dollz at the Museum of Sex. They will attempt to teach the sexually needy how to:
create more than just a moment in the bedroom, but an entire experience that will leave your partner begging for more. NYC’s most famed kink experts will explore ideas and techniques from setting the mood, sexy games, and thinking outside the bedroom to the art of the striptease, kinky foreplay, and fantasy scenarios. Enjoy sipping tasty aphrodisiac cocktails while the gorgeous Domi Dollz seduce and inspire you to create your own seduction experience.
OralFix: Aphrodisiac Cafe
Museum of Sex | Lower Level
233 5th Avenue @ 27th St
New York, NY 10016
 
Thurs, April 12th @ 7pm
Admission : $25
Seating is limited
 
The Domi Dollz are simply sexy. They are gorgeous, experienced, intelligent women who talk the talk like they know how to walk the walk. Come, please, please…please.

IT’S HUMP DAY: This Week’s Sexiest Events

It’s Wednesday and you know what that means: we get our hump on. This weekly column is devoted to finding the hottest events across NYC that’ll arouse and titillate even the most jaded New Yorker. Partake in these shows and soirees – from Naked Girls Reading to the shocking "F*ck Art" exhibit – and make the rest of your nights this week very sexy.

See hot naked girls tell stories about circus tricks:
The hit, nude literary event Naked Girls Reading begins its 2013 season tonight with its most eccentric event yet: “Naked Girls Reading Joins The Circus.” At Under St. Marks in the East Village, the naked girls troupe will read tales about their days at the carnival, on the tightrope, and the sideshow, while you attempt to get a gander at the chest behind their books. Whoops! Extra-special guests include Miss Coney Island 2010 GiGi La Femme, and international cirque and burlesque star The Lady Josephine. Wednesday, Jan. 16th. 9pm. All the details here.

Listen to writers’ most sensual and seductive work:
Open mic hits Le Poisson Rouge Friday night when 20 authors, poets, and spoken-word artists bravely take to the mic and share their most erotic sexual fantasies in a monthly night known as “Titillating Tongues – NYC Erotica in Poetry & Prose.” The host – fiery redheaded poet Aimee Herman – has been known to surprise audiences, most notably with a male stripper simulating masturbation onstage. And wahoo, while that doesn’t sound like poetry to me, for some, it’s just perfect.7pm. $10. Friday, Jan. 18th.  All the details here.

See shocking, sexual NYC street art at “F*ck Art” exhibit:
In NYC, there’s little separation between nightclub and lounge, hipster and homeless. And at the Museum of Sex, 20 select street artists showcase art that pushes the boundary between sexuality and our public space in an exhibit called “F*ck Art.” This exhibit gets shocking, asking all those big questions about human cultural identity and sexuality etc., so it’s not for the timid or the meek. But then again, if you’re considering walking into the Museum of Sex at all, you’re none of those things. Bravo. 10am. Runs every day until March 1st. All the details here.

Eat the sexiest Chinese food you’ll ever have:
When nightlife crew EMM Group opens anything new, the spot becomes a huge, sexy hit – and so begins the trajectory of their latest opening:  LES Chinese restaurant The General. I know, Chinese food and sexy? But with its plank-wood ceiling, retro red chairs, and gilded Asian wallpaper, EMM Group makes The General swank – and your new date spot. Open now. 199 Bowery. All inside-info here.

Follow Bonnie on Twitter here.

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My Night of S&M

In a cavernous dungeon basement in Flatiron, I walked in on something kinky; men in spiked chokers and tight briefs were bent against the wall and being spanked, dominatrixes in black corsets and demure pencil skirts were playing with nipple clamps, and mistress/slave role-playing was not just expected of me, it was demanded – or else.

In this dimly-lit world where every kinky desire was expressed and whim acted upon, perhaps the greatest surprise of it all was this: it was purely educational. And that’s where the Domi Dollz come in.
 
The Domi Dollz are a group of professional dominatrixes who seek to bring kinky, non-conventional play out of the dungeon and into the mainstream. They do this by educating, titillating, and spanking the masses of people who crowd the monthly workshops at the Museum of Sex with their friends, dates, and insatiable curiosity for something a little bit more. Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele look-a-likes and enthusiasts, these audiences are comprised of regulars – or newbies that frequently become regulars – thanks to the disarming quality of the mistress in charge: founder and president of Domi Dollz Ms. Nina Payne.
 
Here’s what you need to know about Ms. Nina Payne: she’s that girl from high school who exudes sex, humor, friendliness, and sincerity – to the point that you can’t stand the fact that you like her so much – but dammit, you do. When (seemingly) innocent guests are asked to whip other (seemingly) innocent guests with suede floggers, Payne assists with accessible language, such as, "It’s like a tennis swing, follow all the way through," and "It’s kind of like that, but not like that; you know what I mean." She assiduously moves through whipping, spanking, flogging, blindfolding, and nipple clamping, to bondage, and eventually role-playing, all while miraculously convincing audience members to come up and try it themselves. 
 
Payne is flanked by not only the straight-out-of-a-guy’s-dream Ms. Mona Rogers, but also two muscled, shirtless, collared men with wicked grins on their faces whom, according to Payne, can each be regarded as "Boy. They have no name."
 
But perhaps what is most stirring about the Domi Dollz workshops is their ability to uncover something very deep within yourself – and the person you bring – that you didn’t know existed before. After a 60-minute dose of pure kink – you find yourself in one of two places: shamelessly turned on, or just not that into it. You surprise yourself. And regardless of where you stand and how many whippings it took to get there, it’s a pretty pleasurable place to be. 
 
Domi Dollz

Sexy Animals, So Like Us

New York’s Metropolitan Museum, Museum of Modern Art, and Whitney Museum are the big shots on campus. But if we followed our baser urges, lines outside the Museum of Sex would be ’round the block. Their current exhibit is devoted to animals doing the deed, both for baby-making purposes and not so much. “The Sex Lives of Animals” was conceived of by Norwegian designers Jennifer Kinon and Michael Beirut, who were inspired by a field guide found at a stoop sale in Brooklyn. The grid-like display takes its cue from Linnaeus and his Table of the Animal Kingdom, and from Darwin and his Tree of Life. It doesn’t sound hot, I know, but sculptures like “Deer Threesome” and “Gay Dolphin Blow-Hole Sex” will educate as well as titillate.