Mischa Barton Is Touring With ‘Steel Magnolias’ In Ireland

If either a) the recent Lifetime remake of Steel Magnolias failed to sate your need for melodrama and Southern accents, or b) you are a casual theater-goer living in Ireland, you might want to pay attention. Beginning in mid-September (following some previews and publicity in July), Ireland’s Solar Theatre company launched a tour of the stage production of Steel Magnolias, featuring a cast of mostly seasoned veterans of stage and screen, including Anne Charleston (Madge from Neighbours) as Ouiser Boudreaux, Gillian Hanna as Miss Clairee and… Mischa Barton from The O.C. as Shelby. Mischa Barton is Shelby in a stage production of Steel Magnolias in Ireland. If you’ve grown weary of watching The O.C. on Netflix Instant but still want alumni of the show in your regular viewing (and Tate Donovan in Argo will not do it for you) then, well, here you go.

After a successful run in Dublin at The Gaiety Theatre and touring all over the country throughout October, the show’s last two nights are tonight and tomorrow at the Royal Theatre in Castlebar. Watch the promo and a couple of fan-shot clips below, including the pivotal scene in which Shelby announces her pregnancy to M’Lynn (who does not take it well) and, in the trailer, some close-ups of Mischa Barton emoting pretty intensely about her new hairdo. And, if you’re in Ireland, you might wanna get to Castlebar tomorrow. 

Morning Links: Amy Winehouse’s Father Penning a Memoir, Mischa Barton Poses with Raw Meat

● Beyoncé is due in February, assuming she’s due at all. [PopDust] ● An Ira Glass sex tape, in the style of This American Life. Nuff said. [A.V. Club] ● Amy Winehouse’s devoted dad is working on a “heartfelt and revelatory memoir” about his late daughter. Is a father-daughter tribute album to follow? [ArtsBeat/NYT]

● “I really like the music he’s putting out. I’m a fan of his stuff. I’ve always been a fan,” says Rihanna of former BF and assailant Chris Brown, sounding happy for his successes. [AP/Huff Post] ● Here are some pictures of Mischa Barton posing with raw meat all over her face, as inspired by a meal at In-and-Out burger, shot by Tyler Shields. [E!] ● Tracy Morgan figures that homophobic rant was all part of a day’s work. “I just think it was a misunderstanding, I was up there working,” he explained to David Letterman last night, apologizing only sort of. [Huff Post]

Morning Links: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Kiss, Russell Brand Gets Deported

● This years Cannes is a wrap, and Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life took the Palm d’Or, while Kirsten Dunst earned Best Actress, presumably for her performance at the now infamous Melancholia press conference. [THR] ● Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez shared their most public kiss (on the lips!) yet, after Bieber won Best New Artist at last night’s Billboard Awards. [JustJared] ● When it comes to the ladies — and as we now know, there have been a lot of ladies — “unstoppable womanizer” Arnold Schwarzenegger has been known to aim low, opting for the more “grateful” plain Janes. “The physical is most important to him and he does not want to be upstaged or lose the spotlight in company of a strikingly beautiful woman,” reports the New York Post. Gross. [NYP]

● Oh dear. Russell Brand got himself deported from Japan, leaving Katy Perry weepy alone in her favorite place on earth: “I am so. sad. I brought him all this way to show him my favorite place,” she tweeted. #tokyodreamscrushed. [Katy Perry/Twitter] ● In this day in age, Mischa Barton pictures are posted for reasons of schadenfreude and nothing else, right? [SocialiteLife] ● Princess Beatrice’s Royal Wedding hat sold for $131,341.47 on eBay yesterday, indicating that the going price for an internet meme is astronomically high. [NYDN]

Links: Rihanna’s Neck Tattoo Typo, ‘Avatar’ Sex Scene Coming Soon

● Rihanna’s new neck tattoo reads “rebelle fleur,” or “rebel flower,” except in French, the adjective goes after the noun. Come to think of it, it doesn’t make sense either way. [PopEater] ● Britney Spears is back in the studio. Her new music will sound like a mix of her old music and Lady Gaga. [Celebuzz] ● Down the rabbit hole: “Inside the Weird World of Justin Bieber Micro-Gossip.” It’s dark in here. [Gawker]

● James Cameron assures us that the Na’vi sex scene will be included in the forthcoming Avatar re-release. Yes, alien love — all up in your face. [MTV] ● After Bill O’Reilly slammed Jennifer Aniston for her support of single-motherhood, she shot back: “many women dream of finding Prince Charming…but for those who’ve not yet found their Bill O’Reilly, I’m just glad science has provided a few other options.” [HuffPo] ● Mischa Barton, all but out of the spotlight, was photographed in St. Tropez smoking weed on a boat, i.e. where she belongs. [PopSugar]

5 Ways to Fix Mischa Barton’s Housing Woes

In these times of economic hardship, paying your rent can be a difficult task. Especially if you’re Mischa Barton and have owe three months of back-rent on your $7,000 a month TriBeCa one-bedroom. Sure it looked gorgeous: A shiny bit of housing you purchased prematurely, not realizing that your crappy soap about the perils of being beautiful could only hold a very limited appeal. But whether it’s $70 a month plus indentured servitude in Flushing, $700 a month in the Bronx, or $7,000 a month in TriBeCa, the inability to pay rent on-time is a universal tragedy. So instead of judging Barton for failing to follow through on a contract she signed willingly, here are some tips and tricks she can consult in trying to overcome the hurdles of Manhattan housing.

(‘DiggThis’)1. Sigh. If only this suggestion were optional. But alas, short of skipping over to that island from Lost, Barton has no way to avoid the lawsuit and get out of paying her back-rent apart from handing over a check. 2. She could get roommates. I know of a certain other starlet who is always in between apartments. Then again, she’s not the best for money, so expecting $3,500 plus utilities from Lindsay Lohan wouldn’t be the wisest decision in the world. I’m sure there are NYU or New School “interns” who Barton could hire. Her compensation for their willingness to run her errands? School credit plus the privilege of living with the one and only Mischa Barton. 3. Move to one of the outer boroughs. Many celebrities now live in Brooklyn. Although for Barton’s price range, it may make more sense for her to shop for a studio in Ozone Park or Jamaica, commuting by towncar to work, than in Park Slope, where many A-listers have made their home. 4. Hold down a steady job. Alas, this is quite the obstacle for Barton. So perhaps Barton has a bigger problem than being unable to pay rent. A 12-step program may help to that end. 5. Any combination of 1-4 would also yield effective results for Barton.

Links: Air America Lost to Scott Brown, Too; Nic Cage Likes His Meme

● Liberals are about as good at radio as they are at government: Air America is filing for bankruptcy and going off the air. [Washington Post] ● Mischa Barton is being sued for failing to pay her $7,000-a-month Tribeca rent. In her defense, the landlord keeps refusing rolled up hundreds. [HuffPo] ● A scorned lover of Oracle co-president and Obama cohort Charles E. Phillips purchased billboards and a website to publicize the pair’s illicit romance and her brilliant insanity. [Gawker]

● Nic Cage is “deeply honored” by the Nic Cage As Everyone blog. Cherish it, dude, because memes die like highs. [Asylum] ● Jay Leno will host the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner and it won’t be funny, but it will be his because he said so. [The TV Column] ● Drunken red-face, a.k.a. Asian Glow, might be an evolutionary advantage, kind of like math skills and violin only a little different. [Buzzfeed]

Links: Mo’Nique’s Hairy Legs Lead to Golden Globe; Mischa Barton’s Life Leads to ‘SVU’

● Mo’Nique rocked her version of the “playoff beard,” showing off her unshaven legs on the red carpet at the Golden Globes. [TMZ] ● Someone auto-tuned a Martin Luther King Jr. speech because the internet is a wonderful and horrifying place. [Buzzfeed] ● A 70-year-old man was sentenced to two years in prison after being caught crossing the border from Canada to the United States with 40,000 ecstasy pills, or as he called it, the real man’s Viagra. [Daily Weekly]

● Perhaps the last four years of Mischa Barton’s career can be understood as prep for a forthcoming episode of Law & Order: SVU, in which she plays a prostitute named Gladys. [ONTD] ● A 10-year-old hit Prince William in the testicles with a rugby ball, allowing the internet to overdose on “family jewels” jokes. [People] ● Barack Obama threw a surprise 46th birthday party for his wife Michelle at an organic restaurant in D.C., sacrificing approximately 3 approval rating points in the process. How could he not tell her?! [Fox News]

Mischa Barton: Klutzy & Celibate?

And finally, your moment of celebrity obviety today comes courtesy of beleaguered everywoman Mischa Barton. High off the success of The Beautiful Life, Barton has confided to tabloids, “I’m ridiculously clumsy, you’d never want to date me. I’m an embarrassment. I wouldn’t even know where to start with telling you things that I’ve walked into.” Er, okay! Misch, I know that all sarcasm aside, TBS was kind of like a cold sore to your CV, a glaring mark of shame. But really that’s no reason to put yourself down! Good gravy, woman.

But her unsteady footing, Barton says, is what makes her prime paparazzi bait. “I think that’s why the paps love me, they know I will end up on my ass looking silly. I’m constantly bruising myself and grazing knees. A total klutz.” This then makes us wonder if Barton is celibate, as she also has yet to be dumped by a boyfriend.

Although ultimately, the sum of these obviously contradicting gossip chunklets makes more unfair her appeal as a sex symbol, what with these gorgeous shots of Barton doing things with sunglasses, looking over a banister, and getting out of a car.

Links: Mischa Barton No Dumps, Donald Faison as Tiger Woods

● She may not have a job and was placed on an involuntary psych hold earlier this year, but Mischa Barton can take solace knowing she’s never been dumped. [NewMag] ● Some women hide from the title of a MILF … not supermodel Cindy Crawford. She embraces her MILF status; just don’t call her a cougar, that’s all on Demi Moore. [Showbizspy] ● Jeremy Piven has been fish-free for a year, and he’s finally back to his old self. Senor Piven was seen getting an impromptu lap dance at Teddy’s to Kings of Leon’s “Sex on Fire.” [P6]

● It concerns Donald Faison that people think he should play Tiger Woods in a TV movie, although he could see himself taking on the role. [PopEater] ● It worked for Velvet Revolver and Audioslave; now Lenny Kravitz may take over for Steven Tyler as lead singer for Aerosmith to form yet another superband. [Starpulse] ● Burger King has been on high alert, keeping an eye out for tweens frequenting their establishment just to steal the life-size cut-outs of Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson. [TMZ]