Ai Weiwei Making a Heavy Metal Album

His powerful sculptures landed him in hot water with authorities in his native China, and now, Ai Weiwei is trying out a different kind of heavy metal. Having worked with sculpture as well as audiovisual art, the artist and activist is planning on recording a heavy metal album called Shen Qu, or “Divine Comedy.” The Dante and Heaven/Hell motifs make for pretty excellent heavy metal concept album fodder, if not a little well-worn, but either way, props to Ai for doing his homework.

The artist told The Guardian his interest in testing the musical waters came from his 81-day stint in jail, where he realized his lack of musical knowledge outside of Chinese revolutionary songs. Consultants on the album will include Chinese rock artist Zuoxiao Zuzhou as well as one of his marquee supporters from the pop music world, Elton John, for whom he made a video. Material will include a song called “The Great Firewall of China,” about the country’s Internet censorship. It will probably not include a cover of “Holy Diver,” as sweet as that has the potential to be.

Ai isn’t a stranger to using popular music as his medium, however. He did do that amazing “Gangnam Style” video, perhaps the only “Gangnam Style” parody the world actually really needed. Let’s revisit that below.

Please, Please, Tell Me This List Of Metal Bands Banned From Catholic College Radio Is Real

I fear this list is too good to be true.

Reddit user rht_rv posted a list two days ago of ungodly and saucily-named bands which are banned from playing on air at the Catholic college radio where he works. The blog The Daily Swarm identifies the user as the host of a metal show at Seton Hall "Pirate Radio," 89.5 WSOU — which makes me want to know everything about  Catholic shool students who listen to metal, what "pirate radio" means when you’re actually not a pirate radio at all, and why metal bands all name themselves after their genitalia. 

I’m sorry, jerks, but you don’t get to call yourself a pirate radio — by definition, "an illegal or unregulated radio transmission" — when you have a list one mile long of bands and artists you are regulating. 

The list warns DJs (are they still called DJs?) that if they discuss Deep Fried Abortion, Pussy Overload, Cuntsaw, Shitscum, Anal Cunt, or any of these other band names which sound like they were taken directly from someone screaming inside a subway car, YOU WILL BE SUSPENDED. The instructions warn the bands cannot be played nor can the names of the bands cannot be discussed. 

Additionally, sensitive topics like "Devil, Satan, God, Jesus or any other Catholic references that are portrayed in a negative light" are not appropriate to be discussed on air.

But most menacingly, if you say — and presumably play — "Nickelback," "Justin Bieber," "Lady Gaga," or "Fall Out Boy," YOU WILL BE FIRED.  

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The Top 10 Racist, Xenophobic, Homophobic, Generally Nonsensical Megadeth Lyrics

Well, the guy whose bass player wrote the MTV News bump is in the actual news again for, before an audience in Singapore, accusing President Obama of orchestrating both the Aurora, Colorado and Wisconsin Sikh temple shootings for some kind of nebulous political gain in this election year. It has us thinking: were there warning signs of a looming politically incorrect psychotic break in born-again Megadeth axe-slinger Dave Mustaine’s thirty years of thrash-metal lyric writing? In a word, yes.

“The quiet war has begun with silent weapons / And the new slavery is to keep / The people poor and stupid / ‘Novus Ordo Seclorum.’”
— “Washington Is Next!,” United Abominations, 2007

“Military intelligence / Two words combined that can’t make sense.”
— “Hangar 18,” Rust in Peace, 1990

“Attack the church dynamic, attack the family / Keep the public undisciplined till nothing left is sacred / And the ‘Have not’s’ get hooked / And have to go to the ‘Haves’ just to cop a fix.”
— “Washington Is Next!” United Abominations, 2007

“With a lust for revenge answering the call / From New Yorqatar to Califarabia.”
— “Amerikahastan,” United Abominations, 2007

“Pull up your dress today and tattooed is ‘Property of The USA / A subsidiary of Halliburton’ Surprise? / But a roaring lion is about to be unleashed on earth / Hey, Jihad Joe? Guess what? We’re coming to get you.”
— “Amerikahastan,” United Abominations, 2007

“He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake / Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death /I will fear no evil: for thou art with me / Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
— “Shadow of Deth,” The System has Failed, 2004 [Note: that’s right, he recorded a metal version of David’s Psalm 23 and named it “Shadow of Deth.”]

“Your brother’s a gay singer in a stud leather band / Your girlfriend’s got herpes to go with your hep and AIDS.”
— “Liar,” So Far, So Good … So What!, 1988

“Don’t ask / What you can do for your country / Ask / What your country can do for you.”
— “Take No Prisoners,” Rust in Peace, 1990

“The UN is right, you can’t be any more un / Than you are right now, the UN is undone / Another mushroom cloud, another smoking gun / The threat is real, the Locust King has come.”
— “United Abominations,” United Abominations, 2007

“Disengage their minds Sabotage their health / Promote sex and war and violence in the kindergartens / Blame the parents and teachers, it’s their fault, ‘Annuit Coeptis.’”
— “Washington Is Next!” United Abominations, 2007

Honorable Mention for Sheer Terribleness and Broken French

“A tout le monde / A tous mes amis / Je vous aime / Je dois partir / These are the last words I’ll ever speak / And they’ll set me free.”
— “A Tout le Monde,” Youthanasia, 1994