You’re Going To Look Great When You Go Gray

Not that you don’t look great now. But a little salt-and-pepper? Women loooooooove that. Just you wait and see. So distinguished. So refined.

Especially with a suit. You’ll be wearing suits by then, not these affected slacker outfits. It’s going to be a very attractive package—you, with a bit of gray, wearing a sharp gray suit. Yes, the suit will be gray also. It will.

You’re going to look great with some wrinkles, too. I like your face at the moment (you know I love your face, it’s perfect), but at the moment it’s also a baby face. I’m sorry! I told you, I love it, it’s just going to get even better with wrinkles. I’m not kidding!

And when you have to walk with a cane? Honey, I’ll be jumping you like crazy. Do you know how much limps turn me on? There’s something so hot about wear and tear on the body. There’s decades of history and experience in each lurching step. I’ve got chills just thinking about it.

But most of all, it’ll be amazing when you die. IMAGINE IT. You lying there, in the casket, spotless and dead forever. Utterly still. Maybe I’ll even die first, so we’ll be dead at the same time! God, it sounds like heaven.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Breaking News: Old Men Like Watching ‘Girls’

Apparently, it’s not the obvious unemployed hipsters and privileged, whiny white girls who make up the target audience for HBO’s Girls, but white guys over the age of 50. Wait, what? White dudes over 50? Does that mean more father-daughter furry penis appreciation bonding sessions have been happening this whole time? Well, color me a neon shade of confused.

According to a recent Nielsen report supplied by HBO, a full 22% of Girls’ audience is comprised of those who pee standing up and who’ve attended Woodstock in chambray bellbottoms and daisy hair garlands. But considering the fact that the mens outnumber the girls watching the show during its live broadcast or recasts throughout the week—a shocking 56% to 44%— it’s not exactly rocket science.

While fewer members of the female population cuddle up to another round of shower urination and virgin dilemmas in front of the tube on Sunday nights, stats show that 63% of them watch according to their own schedule using On Demand. The majority of the women who watch Girls are also quite a bit older, with the median age being 43.

And though the show is set in New York, hardly any real New Yorkers watch it: the number one TV market for the show is Providence, Rhode Island and New Bedford, Massachusetts. Finally, a figure that makes sense: what could be better than observing hipsters in their natural Williamsburg habitat after a hard day of sailing and tanning in Cape Cod?  

[via Vulture]

Study: Men Don’t Think About Sex All the Time, Just Most of the Time

Remember all that hubbub about men thinking about sex every seven minutes? It turns out that myth has finally been debunked. According to a new study, men think about sex 19 times a day (about every 50 minutes), leaving far more time for them to ponder their biological needs, like food and sleep, than first imagined.

Researchers from Ohio State University found that the average man thinks about sex 19 times a day, food 18 times, and sleep 11 times a day. The study, which involved college-aged women and men, also found that men think about sex and their biological needs considerably more often than women, with the average young woman thinking about sex 10 times a day, food 15 times, and sleep nine times a day.  
The range of sexual thoughts also varied greatly as male participants recorded between one and 388 daily thoughts about sex, while women recorded between one and 140 times a day. As for the study itself, it’s important to remember who the participants are. “Average” men and women are not “college-aged” men and women. College students are 18-23 year olds with roving, insatiable appetites for ramen noodle soup, binge drinking, and a somewhat satisfying 3am hook up involving a twin bed and a roommate’s judgmental glare. Average men and women are just older. And sexually unsatisfied. They eat sushi.
And that college-aged woman who recorded just one sex thought a day: I expect more from you. Put down the book and get thee to a frat.

Men: The New Sex

“I was reading an article about bands that are really hard to find on Google, and of course, we were in it,” says JD Samson, the androgynous frontwoman of MEN, a high-energy, experimental dance trio. The brainchild of Samson and her former Le Tigre bandmate Johanna Fateman, MEN was initially conceived as a DJ side project, and the name was anything but arbitrary. “Men is very much about gender fluidity,” Samson explains. Guitarists Ginger Brooks Takahashi and Michael O’ Neill — both recruited from Hirsute — yet another of Samson’s bands — round out the threesome, who have earned accolades for their electronic, guitar-fueled live shows. Three years after first recording together and while juggling a demanding tour schedule, the members of MEN have finally mastered their debut album, Talk About Body. The lengthy recording process lends their album a pan-genre eclecticism, serving up good-humored social commentary on tracks like “Credit Card Babies” and “Who Am I to Feel So Free.”

You guys were in a few different projects before MEN. How did all of your individual influences affect the vibe in a new group? It’s funny because we were all actually in lots of different projects together, but in the end we’ve always been doing the same thing we’re doing now. When Johanna Fateman (of Le Tigre) and I were Djing, we wrote a couple of songs and then Ginger, Michael and myself were in another band called Hirsute and wrote a few more. All of those songs are very similar to each other and the one song on the new record that I co-wrote with Johanna, we all kind of adopted as our own. So, I think that in general we’ve always been collaborating in the same way artistically.

If listeners buy the new album Talk About Body, and later hear your previous projects, would they notice the similarities right away? In some ways I think so. We all bring different things to the band and they’re reminiscent of what we’ve brought to other projects we’ve been in, but we each get to really be ourselves. It’s like we’re weaving this thing and all of our influences and all of our histories are in there. I think we found the perfect people to make this record exactly like it needed to be and we’re all really proud of it. It’s what we intended to do, which was to create something genre-less, or maybe – genre-full?

Why did you decide to name the group MEN? When we originally came up with the name it was because Johanna and I were in the airport, annoyed at all the people who were traveling for business. She said, “I have this new philosophy: What would a man do if someone cuts him in line? I’m going to start sticking up for myself. If the promoter tonight says, ’We can’t give you the whole fee,’ I’m going to be like, ‘Fuck you, give me the fee, we deserve it.” Then, that day someone asked us to title our project, and we decided: Let’s call ourselves Men. That was original idea, but when we adopted it as our name, the three of us, it meant something new. It was very much about gender fluidity and how everyone can really call themselves whatever they want.

Is the name of the album reflective of its general theme? That concept of fluidity… Talk About Body is a lot about gender expression, queer livelihood, and the way we see the world. It’s not something that we want to express, it’s something that is expressed. You inherently write about the things that affect you and the things that you are. This record brings up a lot of issues about money, power struggles and the things we experienced while making the record.

What was it like recording the album over a three-year period, while touring? It was a learning experience, and the second time around will probably be much different. The first process happened over so many years. We started this project three years ago and it’s evolved a lot since then, so the next album will happen a lot faster and that alone will be very different. This record happened over such a long span of time and influences and inspiration and we’re going to be cutting that part out, so album number two is going to be a little more of a focused concept.

Is the album a little scattered because it was over recorded such a long span of time? It’s all over the place in terms of genres – there are pop songs, crazy jams and funky rhythmic stuff, but we love that it’s all over the place. There is a common ground that makes it work as a cohesive record.

You’re renowned for your live shows. What should a first-timer expect to see at one of your performances? Our beats are electronic, but the guitars are very audible and loud, so it’s a very specific decision for there to be two guitar players in a band with three people. I think that’s what makes it really interesting — there’s this constant conversation between the two guitars. Live, that’s just a really interesting thing that people don’t very often, especially with electronic beats. It’s a compromise between electronic dance music and indie-rock. I’ve seen a lot of bands that are great on their record but live it’s just disappointing, but we just love to perform. We decided that we wanted to make this our job so we have to have a really good show, do it all the time, and make people want to come see it.

Exclusive: The 28 Best Bands of CMJ, Gallery & Interviews

Over three days during the musical marathon that is CMJ, photographer Jeff Fasano and reporter Matthew Shepatin lured 28 of the very best acts to private club Norwood for exclusive photo shoots and one-on-ones (“CMJ is a clusterfudge. Your sets are short, they’ re rushing you, the Man is giving you a hard time…But, seriously, it’s been exciting,” says Eric Schwortz of Milagres) before the bands were out the door and running to their next show, roadies in tow. What resulted is a whirlwind snapshot of the most exhilarating, exhaustive, and exhausting musical showcase of the year. Check out the best of CMJ after the jump.

Brahms (Pictured above- Brooklyn, New York) “The highlight of CMJ was the vegan Indian food cart outside the registration building. They’ve got this great crepe-like lentil pancake and don’t get me started about what goes on. When I grabbed that and some mango lassi after I picked up my badge, I knew it’d be a good week.”

image Cyndi Harvell (Bay Area, California) “I was walking up the street and I met some guy who asked me if I knew where to pick up CMJ badges. And then he said, ‘I’m in this band. It’s pop punk. We’re playing tomorrow.’ And I said, ‘Well, maybe I’ll check that out.’ Why not? Jump in and see what happens.” – Cyndi Harvell

image Dan Mangan (Vancouver, BC, Canada) “We played this amazing loft party for BrooklynVegan on Friday night and the vibe was incredible. Lots of wonderful people and great bands. Then on Saturday I told the audience that they had given me an erection. So. Sorry about that. How rude.” — Dan Mangan

image Deadbeat Darling (Brooklyn, New York) “In years past, I think we got caught up in trying to make something happen at CMJ. It’s the same with an event like SXSW. Everything is happening that week, everybody is shooting off fireworks. You’ve got to make a lot of noise to make any noise at all. So this year, we’re more relaxed. We’re going to play some great shows that just happen to be the week of CMJ.” – Joseph King of Deadbeat Darling

image Down With Webster (Toronto, ON, Canada) “As an artist there is something just a little extra special about performing in NY; it has been a dream of ours for such a long time, that we still can’t believe it’s happening.” – Pat Gillett of Down with Webster

image Eliza Blue (Twin Cities, Minnesota) “This is my first CMJ – and I lost my voice. So I’m experiencing it through a veil of silence. Standing in an elevator, hearing all these different accents, people from all over the world, it was neat. Maybe it will be my new thing, not talking.” – Eliza Blue

image Harper Blynn (New York City) “So far as the idea of ‘selling out’ because your song is on a TV show or in a commercial. These days there are so few access points for bands to make money that if you find one of them, congratulations to you. And anybody who thinks that’s selling out doesn’t make art for a living. Because if you did, you would understand that all you’re doing is trying to make a living so you can keep making art.” – Peter Harper of Harper Blynn

image Kaiser Cartel (Brooklyn, New York) “We had been a couple when we made our first album. We’re not in a relationship making this record. So we were on tour for a year and a half – breaking up. All the music we wrote is us dealing with that, and having to be together, stuck together in this little car, constantly in motion. We’d be bickering and then go on stage and the crowd has had no idea. People at the shows would be, like, ‘Man, you guys are going to do it tonight.’ And I’d be thinking, ‘Yeah, right.’” – Courtney Kaiser of Kaiser Cartel

image Lady Danville (Los Angeles, California) “We have three shows at CMJ – the Bowery, Rockwood Music Hall and the Panelist Show in this very room. I’m excited. I see this as a great opportunity, but I don’t feel any pressure to come out of this with a trophy.” – Michael Garner

image Left on Red (New York City) “We were psyched to play our CMJ show at The Bitter End, where our heroes once came to tread. You know who I mean, artist like Stephan Grappeli, Bob Dylan and umm…Lady Gaga” – Liah Alonso of Left on Red

image Loomis & the Lust (Santa Barbara, California) “There isn’t a lot of good Chinese food where we’re from in Santa Barbara. So I’ll probably go to Chinatown this week and grub.” – Will Loomis of Loomis & the Lust

image Men (New York City) “We have a single coming out November 1st called ‘Off Our Backs.’ We talk about it a lot – tops and bottoms.” – JD Samson of Men “But not strictly in a sexual position way.” – Michael O’ Neill of Men “More about how they operate in the world, how they interact with people.” – Ginger Brooks Takahashi of Men “For example, we often call ourselves a bunch of tops.” – JDS “Too many differing opinions.” – GB “Do we wish we had a bottom? Yes.” – JDS “Then there’ s the classification of a ‘bossy bottom.’” – GB “A bossy bottom wants to be on the bottom but have it their way.” – MO “There, like, ‘do it like this, no, do it like this.’” – JDS “Who is topping America, that’ s the question?” – GB “China is totally topping America.” – JDS Wait. America is a bossy bottom? “That’ s true.” – JDS

image Milagres (Brooklyn, New York) “CMJ is a clusterfudge. Your sets are short, they’re rushing you, the Man is giving you a hard time, you can’t get enough keyboard in your monitor, or too much. But, seriously, it’s been exciting for us.” – Eric Schwortz of Milagres

image My Dear Disco (Ann Arbor, Michigan) “The vibe I get with CMJ is that people hope to see something amazing but don’t expect to. When something does cut through it’ s potent because people – especially the New York-based music industry veterans – have written of the experience in their brain” – Robert Lester of My Dear Disco

image Murder Mystery (New York City) “I don’ t think there’ s a direct correlation between the number of CMJ shows a band plays and destiny to become the biggest band on earth. Phoenix is only playing one show, same as us. It’s safe to say that we are just as popular as Phoenix.” – Jeremy Coleman of Murder Mystery image The Narrative (New York City) “CMJ is not the Super Bowl. Opening for Radiohead in Madison Square Garden is the Super Bowl. It’s more like a really good tailgate.” – Suzie Zeldin of The Narrative

image New Collisions (Worcester, Massachusetts) “The panels are worthless for musicians. It may not be worthless for industry professionals or people who value networking. We don’t. I’ve heard stories of these A&R panels when bands rush them at the end with their demo disc. Ah, that’s disgusting. This isn’t how you want to live your life. I’d rather have a job than rush a panel. You want a record deal that badly? What’s wrong with you? Besides, everything is changing so quickly. What if six months from now the idea of being on a label is stupid? We’re constantly reevaluating based on our circumstances. Down the road, we might have to find some third-party financing, whatever that means in 2011.” – Alex Stern of New Collisions

“And that’s all a label is at this point. So little at labels are actually in-house. You hire out for your publicity. You hire out for your artistic development, your branding. Labels have become kind of product managers of all these third-party groups. So as a band you can get in there and start hiring those third-party groups yourself. The problem is, let’s say you hire a publicist, if you’re not on a label, most journalist don’t take you seriously. Bands have this buzz cycle. Surfer Blood is having this buzz cycle. West Coast is having this buzz cycle. They’re both recent signing to major labels which alerts the industry and press that they need to start taking this band seriously. So labels can give you clout but not all labels have the same cache.” – Scott Guild of New Collisions

image New Madrid (Brooklyn, New York) “The highlight of our CMJ was definitely playing on the Big Noyes CMJ Showcase at Parkside Lounge on Saturday night. The turnout was great, and the enthusiasm contagious. We also had a blast this week watching other bands like The Shake and Hank & Cupcakes.” – Erik Barragan of New Madrid

image Pepper Rabbit (Los Angeles, California) “We got a parking ticket here. I put money into that thing that spits out a receipt. I threw it on the dash — but upside down. Besides that, our CMJ experience has been cool. Where else can you see Surfer Blood and Local Natives both in 100-person capacity rooms? That was amazing.” – Luc Laurent of Pepper Rabbit

image The Shake (New York City) “I think bands are conflicted these days. On one hand, it’s popular for bands to say we can do it on our own and we don’ t need labels. We can do it like Arcade Fire. On the other hand, labels can open up doors. Yes, they might demand money from record sales, which could suck. At the same time, they can get you on bills and put you in front of people that you flat out wouldn’t have had the chance to get in front of. So this anti-label movement can be misplaced. If you have too much ego, you can end up playing the same bars for a year without advancing.” – Jon Merkin of The Shake

image Sydney Wayser (Brooklyn, New York) “When I try to write fast songs it doesn’t feel right. Then I slow it down and somehow the tempo of the music ends up the tempo I walk at. And it works.” – Sydney Wayser

image The Traveling Band (Manchester, England) “The second CMJ show we played was upstairs at Pianos, so it had a bit of a house party feel. At the end we did an acoustic number. We got rid of the PA system, went out into the crowd, and stood on some chairs. There was a group of people in the back of the room who were a bit noisy so halfway through the song we just went right over and got in their faces and sang it to them. It seemed to shut them up. They were all blushing.” – Joe Dudderidge of The Traveling Band

image Two Door Cinema Club (Bangor, North Ireland) “It’s the first CMJ we’ve ever been to. It’s always a bit weird when people say you’re a new British indie band. For one, being from Northern Ireland, we’re separate from the UK in that we’re really not part of England. And I’ve never really loved British indie music that much. A lot of our music, TV, and film actually comes from New York and America.” – Sam Halliday of Two Door Cinema Club

“I don’t think the Irish really get BritPop. We were more into American bands like At the Drive-In and Death Cab for Cutie. Bands like that are what really influenced us.” – Kevin Baird of Two Door Cinema Club

image Unicycle Loves You (Chicago, Illinois) “This was by far the best CMJ for us yet. The highlight would have to be meeting and talking with Cory McAbee, mastermind behind The American Astronaut, Stingray Sam, and The Billy Nayer Show. It’s not every day you get to meet a living cult hero, and come to find that he’s a great guy too.” – Jim Carroll of Unicycle Loves You

image Vanaprasta (Los Angeles, California) “On Friday night of CMJ we were walking all our gear about half a mile from one venue to the next and then playing an hour later. You’re constantly moving and shoulder to shoulder with perfect strangers and nothing ever stops, which is perfect for us because that’s exactly how our live show is.” Taylor Brown of Vanaprasta

image The Winterlings (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) “Being two singing fish in the luminescent reef of New York City as the music festival echoed through the dark, starry tide was exhilarating. It was like a chord strummed not only on our guitars but on our lives.” – Wolff Bowden of The Winterlings

image Xylos (Brooklyn, New York) “We played a CMJ showcase on Tuesday night at Spike Hill in Williamsburg. This awesome band Yost also played and we share a bass player with them. So he got twice as many drink tickets as everybody else. That means two.” – Eric Zeiler of Xylos

image Zowie (Auckland, New Zealand) “It’s my first trip to New York. Everybody is so cool. They kind of stick to themselves but they don’ t seem super judgmental, which I’ve noticed in a few other cities. I don’ t want to leave. The whole band doesn’t want to leave. We love it here!” – Zoe Fleury of Zowie

All artists photographed by Jeff Fasano at the Norwood during CMJ.

Terry Richardson Embraces Heels For Men

Believe it or not, men in stacked boots is a trend finally gaining quite a bit of steam (thanks in large part to the likes of Rick Owens). The chiseled, long locked Paris-based designer has been churning out sleek, androgynous styles including men’s shoes with a sizable lift for seasons. Following in his footsteps, Rad Hourani likewise showed stacked platforms for guys on his SS10 runway. But, the gender-bending look has been slow to take off. Men in Tokyo may be forming ‘skirt tribes‘ en masse, but heels have for seasons seemed to have a long way to go before reaching the masses. That is, until now.

Refinery 29 recently paid homage to various platform adoring gents in a post that includes a photo of Zac Posen strolling around the UES in shoes with noticeable added height (which was snapped by But, while men in highly-elevated heels and more modest wedges have made splashes on more than one street style site, the trend seems to have reached an all new level of exposure thanks to provocateur Terry Richardson’s recent endorsement of the style.

“My new Rick Owens Wedge Boots… i love them!!!” Richardson writes on his namesake virtual diary beneath a cropped photo of the photographer in at least 3-inch tall black leather wedge boots and equally fashion-forward drop-crotch, cropped trousers. Considering Richardson has long been synonymous with dark denim and flannel shirts–read: standard Brooklyn hipster man garb–the sartorial evolution is a pretty drastic one. But if Richardson’s doing it, maybe the prospect of men one day having to debate between flats or heels isn’t so outlandish after all.

‘Skirt Tribes’ Surface in Tokyo

An unlikely trend is sweeping men’s wear in Japan. And Marc Jacobs, for one, would surely approve. Skirts of the tailored, Comme des Garcons variety–of which Jacobs has long been a fan–have been sprouting up on sidewalks across Tokyo. Styles “ranging from miniskirts worn over jeans to longer, figure-hugging varities worn with trainers or sandals – have become a regular sight in the Harajuku district of Tokyo,” (the city’s most fashion-forward enclave) says the Independent. In fact, a store called Cross Gender, which opened in February and hawks a variety of skirts for men, has reported impressive sales.

“‘Skirt boys’ make waves in wild world of Tokyo street fashion,” echoes another article from the Global Fashion Report. It seems there are so many men warming up to the trend that even DMV tellers have heard of the ‘skirt tribes’ surfacing around the city. And men adopting traditionally female fashions en masse isn’t relegated to Japan alone. Just a few weeks ago I caught Cathy Horyn making mention on Charlie Rose of how revolutionary she found all of the young men in Paris sporting elevated footwear a la Rick Owens. “In Paris, you see a lot of young guys who are wearing high heels, blocked heel shoes,” she said. How long it’ll take before the male masses in the states start adopting adrogynous styles, however, is anyone’s guess.