Oh, Good Friday: Here Are the Ten Hottest Jesuses

If I’ve learned anything from Hollywood, it’s this: Jesus was a hottie. There’ve been hundreds of actors throughout the years who have donned the robes and the wigs and the fake beards to play our Lord and Savior, but only a select few could be singled out as being the hottest Jesuses in cinematic history. So on this Good Friday, sit back and click through this slideshow of heavenly eye-candy. There are a lot of thin white dudes with light-colored eyes to feast upon here, just as God would have wanted. Hosanna, y’all! 

Jeffrey Hunter, King of Kings (1961)

Max von Sydow, The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)

Ted Neeley, Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

Robert Powell, Jesus of Nazareth (1977)

Brian Deacon, Jesus (1979)

Chris Sarandon, The Day Christ Died (1980)

Willem Dafoe, The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)

Christian Bale, Mary, Mother of Jesus (1999)

Jeremy Sisto, Jesus (1999)

Jim Caviezel, The Passion of the Christ (2004)
 

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.

2011 Oscar Nominations Go More or Less as Expected

With the speed of a lumbering engine powered by critical hubris and self-importance, the 84th Academy Awards nominations dropped into our newsfeeds this morning with predictable result. Did you know that people liked The Descendants this year, The Artist as well? Brad Pitt and George Clooney scored the requisite Hollywood heartthrob acting votes (they will lose to the no-name French guy who doesn’t talk), while Meryl Streep got her due for sticking around. Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese were also nominated, just like they always are. It’s another Oscar ceremony, y’all!

But not to sound cynical or anything. It’s somewhat surprising, though definitely nice, to see Terrence Malick get official recognition for The Tree of Life, even if there’s almost no way the hype-happy Academy will give their highest awards to a movie with more than a handful of inscrutably artsy scenes. Equally surprising on the other end is the inclusion of Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, a movie that no one seemed to like but not for any inscrutably artsy reasons, simply because it’s kind of schmaltzy and not very good. Why not give the spot to something innocuous like Bridesmaids or even the last Harry Potter movie, if they’re trying to go commercial? Madness, it’s all madness. (I won’t even get started on Albert Brooks’ snub for Drive.) You can look at the important nominees below, or go to the Academy’s website for the full list.

Best Picture
The Artist, The Descendants, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Help, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Moneyball, The Tree of Life, War Horse

Actor in a Leading Role
Demian Bichir – A Better Life, George Clooney – The Descendants, Jean Dujardian – The Artist, Gary Oldman – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Brad Pitt – Moneyball

Actress in a Leading Role
Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs, Viola Davis – The Help, Rooney Mara – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady, Michelle Williams – My Week with Marilyn

Directing
Michael Hazanavicius – The Artist, Alexander Payne – The Descendants, Martin Scorsese – Hugo, Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris, Terrence Malick – The Tree of Life

Actor in a Supporting Role
Kenneth Branaugh – My Week with Marilyn, Jonah Hill – Moneyball, Nick Nolte – Warrior, Christopher Plummer – Beginners, Max von Sydow – Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Actress in a Supporting Role
Berenice Bejo – The Artist, Jessica Chastain – The Help, Melissa McCarthy – Bridesmaids, Janet McTeer – Albert Nobbs, Octavia Spencer – The Help

Watch the New Trailer for ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close’

Do you remember Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, darling of prospective English majors circa 2005? It’s hard to keep track of Brooklyn writers named Jonathan, so we’ll remind you: it’s not the one about sad Midwestern families or the one about comic books, but the one about a nine-year old’s search through his family history following the death of his father in the 9/11 attacks. Topical, heavy stuff, making it ripe for a film adaptation. 

Six years after the book, the movie is finally coming out, and stars Tom Hanks, Viola Davis, Max von Sydow and Sandra Bullock. The first trailer was released a few months ago, but it wasn’t too hotly received. This new one has a much firmer grasp on the book’s melancholic but ultimately uplifting tone. There’s no twee opening scene, and no U2 scoring the soaring montage. Instead, there’s more Davis and von Sydow, and more of a cohesive arc that sells the book as the rare text-to-film adaptation that might not lose so much in translation (or so we hope).

Close gets a limited release on Christmas day, and expands nationally on January 20. Get out your handkerchiefs!