Destiny’s Child Has Been Hiding Previously Unreleased Songs From You

Bootylicious news, my friends. In an interview with the Huffington Post, Mathew Knowles — father of Beyoncé and former manager of the girl group Destiny’s Child — revealed the ladies have previously unreleased songs they are planning to release this November. Those bastards! How could you hold out on us, Bey?

What we really want, of course, is not just more pop tart material on the following themes:

  • I don’t need a man.
  • I can buy my own shit.
  • Did I mention I have a nice ass?
  • FEMINISM!

No, what we really want is for Beyoncé, Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland to reunite for a Destiny’s Child reunion tour. Alas, Mr. Knowles basically told HuffPost not to hold its collective breath:

It takes a year of planning to do these tours, but first it starts with the artist wanting to do it. I hope in the next five years that there is a reunion tour. I think it would be incredible. The hardest thing would be choosing which songs they’re going to do, because we would want to mix it up with solo hits and Destiny’s Child hits. We would have to throw away some number ones from off the set list.

I guess Beyoncé is a little preoccupied with that having-a-newborn thing. But I can dream, can’t I?

Morning Links: Zooey Deschanel Lashes Back at LA Times, Penn Badgley Wants to Record an Album

● Zooey Deschanel got all sensitive on her Tumblr after LA Times writer Patt Morrison suggested in an opinion piece that Zooey Deschanel was a “snobby cow” who was too good for Downtown LA. [HelloGiggles] ● According to legal documents filed by Mathew Knowles, Beyoncé was falsely led to believe that her father was siphoning money from her when she fired him. Mathew maintains that he didn’t steal anything and also that, Beyoncé, I am your father. [TMZ] ● When Colin Hanks said “Essentially, what we were doing is using the technology of this era to celebrate an older era,” he meant he was excited to be using Twitter and Kickstarter to make his nostalgic movie about Tower Records, but it kind of sounds like he’s just talking about making a movie with Instagram. [HuffPost]

● According to a new custody settlement, Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are just going to pass on the mandatory drug testing from now on, as it’s been an obvious problem for the both of them. [TMZ] ● “A lot of women don’t know how to love because there’s deep reasons for them not knowing how to love,” said Lil Wayne in regards to his mushy summer hit “How To Love.” “A lot of people don’t open up that can and I figured that I can open up that can of worms and see what happens.” The Tao of Wayne. [MTV] ● Penn Badgley says he can play an instrument and plans to record an album. Of course you do, Lonely Boy. [PageSix]