‘Weeds’ Celebrates 100th Episode

It’s not every day that a cable show reaches the ripe old age of 100 episodes, but ever since I first laid eyes on the polished, pristine lawns of Agrestic and their pot-loving, MILF-appreciating inhabitants, I knew was hooked. The cast and crew of the 8-year series celebrated with cake and champagne after an on-location shoot in Los Angeles. Actress Mary-Louise Parker, the show’s protagonist, grew a bit emotional as they toasted the series’ new centennial status. Sure, Weeds is in its final season with only two more episodes remaining, it’s still quite the accomplishment

Here is a roundup of shows that have truly stood up to the test of time… 100+ times!

If there were ever a contest for longest-running animated TV show, then The Simpsons would win, 4-fingered yellow hands down. The 23-year-old show has been supplying America with “D’ohs!” and “Ay Carumbas!” for a colossal 508 episodes, and counting. Since its debut in 1989, the series has gone on to inspire and define the style of countless other shows (ahem, Family Guy, we are looking squarely at you), has its own full-length movie, video game franchise, action figures and even it’s own goddamn rollercoaster ride. Not bad for a donut-loving, minimum-wage, nuclear power-plant employee, huh?

Clocking in at an impressive 456 episodes, Law and Order has been around for 20 years. Since it’s debut in 1990, the much-loved courtroom drama has been adapted to a TV film, video games and crossovers. Its also inspired multiple spin-offs: Special Victims Unit, Criminal Intent, Trial by Jury, and LA. Looks like people just couldn’t get enough of that criminal justice system!

Be honest: if you were a child of the ’90s, you were most certainly tuning in to the many idiotic teenage antics of Brenda Walsh and the rest of the gang on Beverly Hills 90210. The often imitated, never duplicated 296-episode series defined what it meant to be an American teen and covered numerous issues like abortion, date rape, alcoholism, domestic violence, gay rights, and eating disorders, making it both entertaining and relatable for viewers. Its 10-year reign ended on May 17, 2000, but multiple spin-offs, including the current CWTV remake and Melrose Place, confirms the original impact of the acclaimed series. Beverly Hills forevs!

What other show begins with a self-deprecating disclaimer, contains a record number of penis, shit and vagina references and even has its own dedicated snackfood product (mmm, Cheesy Poofs)? The 15-year-old South Park has had 230 episodes and is wildly successful phenomenon that is slated to keep on thundering on till 2016. Never one to be a shrinking violet, the series often unabashedly discusses touchy issues like racism, homophobia, politics, religion, and poverty (and always finds new ways to send Kenny into the afterlife). All hail Mr. Hanky!

Often referred to as the greatest television program of all time,” Seinfeld followed the antics of four close friends, Jerry, George, Kramer, and Eliane, as they discussed immensely important topics such as fake nose-picking, Festivus, being spongeworthy and regifting (I still have yet to decide between a Bro or a Mansiere). The much-loved show is still in syndication and has spawned the spin-off Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is still running. I can also say without shame that I do own a Seinfeld Monopoly board game set. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Afternoon Links: Demi Moore’s Dangerous Red Bull Habit, Mariah Carey Is Back In The Studio

● And now it comes out that Demi Moore has been addicted to Red Bull for years, and that the habit has more or less kept her going through these dark and exhausted post-Ashton days. [TMZ]

● Speaking of: Mary Louise Parker is stepping in for Demi Moore as Gloria Steinem in Lovelace. [NYDN]

● And for his next act, James Murphy will conquer coffee roasting. "I thought it would be fun," he says of the plan. "I have beans that I like. I like this sometimes and that sometimes. Sometimes in the middle." [NYM]

● According to BFF Gayle King, Oprah hasn’t gotten baby Blue Ivy a gift yet, let alone be named her godmother. "if (that report is) true, it is news to her," she says. [Us]

●  Lana Del Rey has bought the rights to her mostly unheard debut record, Lana Del Ray A.K.A. Lizzy Grant, and she hopes to re-release the "forgotten terrible album" sometime this summer. [BBC]

Dem babies and a kidney failure later, Mariah Carey is at last back in the studio with her old friend Jermaine Dupri. [Rap-Up]

Charlie Mars Backstage at Austin City Limits

We had a quick second to shoot the shit with Mississippi-born singer/songwriter Charlie Mars, who played two Austin City Limits sets on Friday featuring music from his most recent album release, Like a Bird, Like a Plane. He showed us some tats, gave us the scoop on how he met his current flame, Mary-Louise Parker, and tried to remember what college was like at our common Alma Mater, Southern Methodist University.

How’d your morning set at ACL go? It felt really good. But I think by the nature of the time of day, you’re only gonna get it to a certain point. I didn’t get too sweaty or anything. I’d always heard what a great area it is and it’s well run and everybody has a great time. I also play Austin Kiddie Limits. They let little kids come. I feel like I should play something that caters to them a little better, but I don’t really have anything. I’m just gonna play my shit and hope it all works out.

Did you rage at SMU? I had a fun time there. I made a lot of good friends. Really though, I don’t remember that much about it. Just the highlights…like graduating. But that’s about it. The rest is a blur. I used to play the Green Room and the Dark Room in Dallas, in Deep Ellum and Homebar.

What’s the album you play on repeat the most? Bob Marley Legends and Bob Marley’s Greatest Hits. I could listen to that every day, all day, all the time.

Favorite fan stereotype? Is a girl in blue jean shorts and a bikini top a stereotype? That’s my favorite. Hopefully one with all of her teeth.

Were you and Mary-Louise Parker dating when she starred in the video for your single “Listen to the Darkside”? She was not my girlfriend, she was just a friend who was a girl. The song’s about getting high, and she’s on Weeds, so it made sense. That’s just how it worked out. We met once before that because she came to one of my shows.

Movie Reviews: ‘Splice’, ‘I Am Love’, ‘Solitary Man’

I Am Love – In the mannered melodrama I Am Love, director Luca Guadagnino invites us into the lives of the moneyed Recchi family through its kitchen. With painstaking, extended close-ups, he focuses on the Recchi servants as they place, with trained precision, flatware on whiteclothed dining tables. All of this structured pomp is a metaphor for the traditions that stifle the spirit of the clan’s gracious matriarch, Emma (Tilda Swinton). But when Emma meets her son’s friend, a chef named Antonio (Edoardo Gabbriellini), she breaks out of her routine and the focus on cutlery disappears. Their initial spark explodes into a full-blown, all-consuming, gorgeous Italian affair, which climaxes when Emma is forced to choose between the stability of her past and her risky, lustful reawakening. As a caged bird desperate to escape, Swinton has never been better. —Nick Haramis

Solitary Man – At 65, Michael Douglas can still walk the walk. Over the opening credits of Solitary Man, he strides through the streets of Manhattan, cutting a trim, handsome figure—and his character, Ben Kalmen, knows it. That’s his problem. Ben is well into his midlife crisis: he has already left his wife (Susan Sarandon), already destroyed his high-powered career and already bedded scores of pretty young things. Broke and unfocused, he is charming to the point of smarminess, a good time to the point of being unethical (he believably and creepily seduces the 18-year-old daughter of his girlfriend, Jordan, played by an icy Mary-Louise Parker). He’s also a liability as a father, grandfather and friend. Needless to say, he’s fun to watch. —Willa Paskin

Looking for Eric – On paper, English director Ken Loach’s Looking for Eric overflows with indie-movie clichés: troubled, middle-aged postman Eric Bishop’s life is falling apart; his sons don’t listen to him—and one of them is mixed up with a gangster; he’s still in love with the woman he left when he was in his twenties; and he’s having conversations with a figment of his imagination (the great Manchester United soccer player, Eric Cantona, who plays himself in the film). The hallucinated life coach even convinces Bishop (Steve Evets) to seize the day and take control of his circumstances. But credit goes to Loach for bringing his characteristic low-key realism to bear on the project, extracting the twee and leaving the sweetness. If the movie’s culmination feels a bit stagey, the naturalistic conversations and good cheer between friends balance it out. —W.P.

Splice – Director Vincenzo Natali’s (Cube) latest film is a cautionary tale, but it’s never clear against what, exactly, we’re being cautioned: Post-millennial parenting? Science as big business? The lust for power? Geneticists Elsa (Sarah Polley) and Clive (Adrien Brody), a young married couple who work for a pharmaceutical company, combine animal DNA to make throbbing slime-blobs. After Elsa throws her own genes into the spin-cycle, she and Clive welcome into the world an ersatz daughter—one with gills and wings—named Dren (Delphine Chanéac). There are moments of sci-fi beauty in the film, which is shot through with all kinds of creature-making tricks, but they’re too infrequent to make up for the story’s icky subplot, in which Clive puts the “orgasm” back in “organism” by bedding his pubescent progeny. —N.H.

Casino Jack and the United States of Money – For a certain kind of scumbag, the life of“über-lobbyist” Jack Abramoff might make for a heartwarming bildungsroman: a college Republican grows up and gets rich shilling for crooked countries, bribing congressmen and screwing over Native American tribes. For everyone else, it’s a sobering look at the sad, corrupt circle-jerk that constitutes modern life in Washington. Oscar winner Alex Gibney’s documentary is far less ham-fisted than the works of his liberal peer Michael Moore, and his use of source material—an email exchange between Abramoff and his co-conspirator Michael Scanlon that includes hilarious frat-boy hip-hop slang like “You da man”—is impeccable. Footage of a dapper, teenage Karl Rove is, on its own, worth the price of admission. —Scott Indrisek

13 Hollywood Mistresses Worth Cheating For

Tiger Woods may be up to his putter in a mistress scandal, but what’s most disturbing about this particular case of martial infidelity is that Tiger’s wife is a ridiculously attractive Nordic supermodel. Despite this fact, the man still found it necessary to cheat with strange picked up at various bars across the country. Sure, some of the girls in question aren’t too shabby either, but was it really worth it? Now, no one here is advocating cheating on wives or significant others, but if you are a celebrity and you do decide to cheat, at least shoot for an upgrade. For example!

(‘DiggThis’)image1. Kevin Federline Cheated on Shar Jackson with Britney Spears. It’s sad to say, but when looking at the options, I don’t think any man on earth really blames K-Fed for his decision. It’s like when you own a clunker, and some executive does a suicidal plummet off of the roof of his office and the keys to his Benz just happen to land in your hand. What, you’re not going to trade up?

image2. Billy Crudup Cheated on Mary-Louise Parker with Claire Danes. Now I know there may be some heated debate on this one, but let the record show that this bout of infidelity took place prior to Parker’s sexy turn on Weeds. What makes this a particularly nasty split is that Parker was pregnant when Billy broke their bond. What goes around comes around, as Danes eventually cheated on Billy with Hugh Dancy while filming Evening. Oh well, Billy, you had a good run.

image3. Donald Trump Cheated on Ivana Trump with Marla Maples. Money may not buy happiness, but in Ivana’s case, the rumored $20 million and change from her divorce certainly must have helped. Was it any surprise that Donald cheated? Not likely. It was more of a surprise that he managed to get a woman as hot as Marla Maples. Come to think of it, maybe money really does buy happiness. Though apparently, it doesn’t buy a good toupee. However, do you really need a good toupee when you’ve got money to close the deal?

image4. Paul Hogan Cheated on Noelene Hogan with Linda Kozlowski. Paul and Noelene were the Australian equivalent of Brangelina for many years. Then Hogan met Linda Kozlowski on the set of Crocodile Dundee and saw her in that one-piece bathing suit. The rest is history, mate. Apparently it was a love at first sight scenario, because the two are still together and even have a son between them. Good job Paul. I mean, if you’re going to cheat, at least.

image5. Brad Pitt Cheated on Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie. If you didn’t know about this one, then hopefully a landslide will take down that rock you’ve been living under. While it’s hard for a man to imagine how anyone could cheat on Jennifer Aniston, it’s harder for a man to imagine not sleeping with Angelina Jolie given the opportunity. Jen is hot, but the concept of “Branifer” just isn’t as clever. Also, think of the African children saved by this union!

image6. David Letterman Cheated on Regina Lasko with Stephanie Birkitt. Well, all right, Letterman’s given himself enough grief over this one. Among others.

image7. Balthazar Getty Cheated on Rosetta Getty with Sienna Miller. While Balthazar has kids with Rosetta, he clearly made the right choice in picking Sienna Miller, according to cheater calculus. Truly, if you’re going to pick someone to break up your marriage, don’t you want to pick the girl that you know won’t last long? See also: Jude Law.

image8. Marc Anthony Cheated on Dayanara Torres with Jennifer Lopez. No one can deny that Dayanara Torres is attractive, but when presented with J-Lo on a hook, who wouldn’t take the bait? Clearly it was worth the trouble, because people actually know who Marc Anthony is now. He’s still not known for being a musician, but fame is fame. And in true player form, Anthony has even been caught cheating on J-Lo with Dayanara.

image9. Billy Bob Thornton Cheated on Laura Dern with Angelina Jolie. Laura Dern is an elegant, charming dream girl that any man would love to be with. But as Billy Bob and the rest of male America knows at this point, Angelina Jolie is the wet dream girl that any man would be crazy not to sleep with. This trade up is so easy to understand that even Laura Dern got it, and eventually traded up herself, settling down with musician Ben Harper.

image10. Nick Lachey Cheated on Jessica Simpson with Vanessa Minnillo. You may think Nick is crazy for cheating on Jessica Simpson, but that’s because you’re not Nick Lachey. It’s hard for most people to envision doing better than Jessica because she’s the spitting image of a busty girl next door. On the other hand, Vanessa Minnillo is like the exotic version of the busty girl next door.

image11. Usher Cheated on Tameka Foster with Grace Miguel. Everyone involved here is certainly attractive and accomplished and would have no need of, say, cutting a person who remarked on the situation, so let’s move on.

image12. Robert Rodriguez Cheated on Elizabeth Avellán with Rose McGowan. Director doing his star? Shocking. Strangely there’s almost a ghost of a physical resemblance there, in some intangible way. But why go where Marilyn Manson has already been?

image13. Dave Navarro Cheated on Carmen Electra with Jenna Jameson. In terms of raw beauty, it’s impossible to determine if Carmen is hotter than Jenna, or vice versa. That would be like comparing a sunset in Fiji to a sunset in Hawaii, or a jeweled dog collar to a jeweled leash. There’s no difference. But when it comes down to “professional talent,” one of them only looks like a porn star, while the other actually is a porn star.

One Night Only: Ryan Adams & Mary-Louise Parker Wax Poetic

Gee, golly, and wow. This week, we really sunk to a world record of cultural nadirs (ugh, ugh, and ugh), didn’t we? Well, the weekend is upon us, as is the most opportune moment to redeem our love for the letters. As it turns out, Ryan Adams and Weeds star Mary-Louise Parker are going to have an intimate chat about poetry and fiction. And you’re invited to eavesdrop.

Poetry, in case you are of the generation that no longer learns of such bygone forms of expression, is a dying art where creators piece together words and lines with regard to how rhythm, sound, and line breaks impact the overall effect. Really, it’s like painting with words. A few examples of people doing this well and who are also interesting include this lady and this dude. Fiction, however, enjoys more prominence, if only as breaks of sentience punctuating abstract entries at The Awl.

But you may ask, what does the multi-tasking indie rocker have to do with such endangered media? It turns out he’s chucked out a couple volumes of poetry, like Infinity Blues and his most recent collection, HelloSunshine. As for Parker, well she’s honestly just a couple exquisitely penned columns away from joining the literati herself — this, on top of all the versatile roles she’s assayed on stage and screen.

Their conversation takes place, appropriately enough, at the New York Public Library at 6 tonight, right after you get off work and are seeking that final jeté to carry you into the weekend.

10 Things the Emmys Did Right This Year

Every year, Hollywood’s TV elite have a circle jerk and many of us sit down to watch the reach-around because we’re perverts or sad, bored, lonely people. The glitterati congratulate themselves on what a great job they all did and how they’ve revolutionized American culture for generations to come even though no one (apart from me, I suppose) watched The Comeback. And every year, civilians and TV connoisseurs alike are baffled by how increasingly inaccessible the winners are. If nobody’s watching Breaking Bad, does that mean it’s any good? (Well, it is, but that’s not the point.) And also, if no one continues watching it after it wins the gold, then really, what use are the Emmys? Well none, which is why if this year’s a bust, it may be marginalized to cable next year. With this year’s crop of nominees (and slightly bloated short-lists), we could pick a few bones. For example, Entourage again? Two and a Half Men up for any kind of acting award? Why, Universe! Why must you reward crap? But enough despair. A run-down of what the TV gods got right follows.

1. 22 nods for 30 Rock. Say what you will about the meta-comedy. I know I did! But it made an impressive comeback at the tail-end of season three.

2. One of which is a Best Supporting Actor nod for Kenneth the Page.

3. Absolutely everything about the Best Supporting Actress In a Comedy Series category: Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies; Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock; Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds; Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live; Kristin Wiig, Saturday Night Live; Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty.

4. Sarah Silverman up for a Best Actress in a Comedy Series prize for The Sarah Silverman Program.

5. Padma Lakshmi up for Best Host in a Reality Competition Program for Top Chef. Well, with Tom Colicchio.

6. Toni Collete’s Best Actress In a Comedy nod for United States of Tara (even though it’s a drama!). She’s probably going to lose it to Mary-Louise Parker for Weeds, though.

7. True Blood netting a few nods, including Outstanding Casting For A Drama Series. Even if it was atrociously overlooked for any of the big prizes.

8. Best Actor in a Drama nod for Michael C. Hall. He’s the reason why Dexter, which is otherwise flagging these days, is still a bit excellent.

9. Family Guy running for Best Comedy, thereby allowing for an absurd upset like Robot Chicken competing for Best Animated Program.

10. And finally, Shohreh Aghdashloo for Best Supporting Actress in a Mini-Series. She was pretty much the only reason to watch the otherwise monochromatic biopic of Sadam Hussein’s life.

Mary-Louise Parker’s Naked Pie

So in its fifth season, Weeds is finally showing signs of serious wear ‘n’ tear. But just because the characters have regressed into one-dimensional pod people whose storylines are so flat it’s like the writers (not the characters) are smoking all that kush, this doesn’t mean we should fault the actors, all of whom continue to bring their A-game. Least of all does it mean we should blame Mary-Louise Parker who at least continues to mesmerize with what lackluster and frequently inexplicable material she’s handed. She also appears in Esquire wearing little more than a smile and an apron, holding a pie. Probably because that’s as oxymoronic as a pot-dealing mom. Alongside the photo is her own thank-you note to men: one of the most exquisite single sentences, sustained entirely on commas and semicolons. A sample of Parker’s gratitude after the jump.

[T]o you, boy grown-up, the gentleman, soldier, professor, or caveman, the fancy man with initials on your towels and salt on your chocolates, to you and to that guy at the concession stand; thank you for the tour of the vineyard, the fire station, the sound booth, thank you for the kaleidoscope, the Horsehead Nebula, the painting, the truth; to you who carries me across the parking lot, up the stairs, to the ER, to roll-away or rice mat; to you who shows up every so often only to confuse and torment, and you who stays in orbit, always, to my left and steady, you stood up for me, I won’t forget that; to you, the one who can’t figure it out and never will, and you who lost the remote, the dog, or your way altogether; to you, wizard, you sang in my ear and brought me back from the dead, you tell me things, make me shiver; to the ones who destroyed me, even if for a minute, and to the ones who grew me, consumed me, gave me my heart back times ten …

Links: Foxy Brown’s Prison Privileges, Tim Burton’s Trippy ‘Alice’`

● To no one’s surprise, Foxy Brown received “special treatment” while serving her prison sentence at Riker’s; guards made sure she had plenty of clean clothes and TV time. [MSNBC] ● Members of the band Rooney will make a cameo in Sofia Coppola’s new film Somewhere; lead singer Robert Schwartzman just happens to be Sofia Coppola’s cousin. [Rooney] ● Bad news for Brad Pitt and Steven Soderbergh. Columbia head Amy Pascal cut loose their new film Moneyball, which was set to begin today in limited turnaround; they’re looking for a new studio to fund and distribute the film. [Variety]

● Ricky Gervais has a game he likes to play on the set of his new film Cemetery Junction: photographing the paparazzi that follow him around. [RickyGervais] ● The first images of Tim Burton’s reimagining of Alice in Wonderland have surfaced; Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and Anne Hathaway as the White Queen look especially acid-tastic. [USA] ● Don’t fear, fans of Weeds, as Mary Louise Parker says she’ll keep playing her suburban, pot-dealing mom role till fans don’t want to see her anymore. [E!]