‘Machete Kills’ Trailer Features Stacked Cast, Explosions

When we last left Danny Trejo’s gun-slinging grindhouse assassin Machete, he had just finished dispatching a corrupt, racist border patrol officer and his team to defend the innocent people they preyed upon in a cartoonish, gory and thoroughly entertaining manner. Now, Robert Rodriguez’s character is ready to return in a new sequel, Machete Kills, and this time, he’s working for the U.S. government.

When we first stumble upon Machete in the all-new international trailer for the film, he is hanging from a rope. He’s cut loose to talk to the president (played by Carlos Estevez, a former CBS sitcom headliner opting not to use his stage name), enlisting him to track down and stop a mad arms dealer (Mel Gibson for some reason) from launching a destructive missile.

The movie looks like explodey-gory summer blockbuster fun, and if either of the two aforementioned names turn you off, the rest of the cast sounds far more redeeming: Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez return, and joining the fun are Sofía Vergara, the underrated Demián Bichir, previous Rodriguez collaborators Antonio Banderas and Alexa Vega (Spy Kids, y’all!), Amber Heard, special effects master Tom Savini, Cuba Gooding Jr., Vanessa Hudgens, and the mighty Edward James Olmos. Rodriguez has assembled quire the ensemble. The film hits theatres this September; watch the trailer below. 

Lady Gaga and Danny Trejo, Together At Last In ‘Machete Kills’

Little monsters and adherents to the Church of Cinematic Gore emitted many a 140-character squeal today after Lady Gaga and Robert Rodriguez both announced that the singer will make her acting debut in 2013’s Machete Kills, the sequel to the Grindhouse offshoot starring Danny Trejo as a bounty hunter shooting and hacking his way through a cabal of corrupt border militiamen. In the character poster released today, Gaga dons animal fur and a femme fatale look as "La Chameleón," a role in which Rodriguez said she "kicked SO MUCH ASS!" (emphasis his). The "femme fatale"/assassin role seems probable, but with a name like that, you can bet there will be a whole lot of elaborate costume changes. Oh, and of course the little monsters are already making their own fan versions of the image. Tumblr is going to be a very different place by tomorrow, mark my words. 

The IMDb page for Machete Kills also has Cuba Gooding Jr. listed as a character called "La Camaleón," so perhaps they’re some sort of bizarre crime-fighting/causing duo? But Gaga is one of just a number of stars confirmed or reportedly attached to the sequel, which finds Machete tracking down a rogue arms dealer through Mexico to stop him from launching weapons into space. Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez return as Sartana and Luz, respectively, joined by Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio, Sofía Vergara, Demián Bichir, Edward James Olmos (!), Rodriguez’ Spy Kids star Alexa Vega and… Mel Gibson as Luther Voz, the villainous arms dealer in question. Also, Charlie Sheen is apparently playing the President, because if you’re going to have one high-profile human meme frequently associated with misogynist/anti-Semitic words and behaviors in a movie, you might as well go for broke and add another, and make him the President. Oh well, there’s still Sofía Vergara. And Danny Trejo. And Gaga, kicking "SO MUCH ASS." It’s like a celeb-obsessed teenager’s Twitter feed put in a blender, except with more guns and a sweet soundtrack. We’ll see what happens.