Boners in HD: Gavin McInnes’s Beach Boner TV

In honor of summer and Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes’s new book, Street Boners, we decided to patrol the beach for a Boner-inspired fashion story for our June/July issue. Whilst frolicking around the pristine Coney Island boardwalk, we discovered that McInnes was the perfect on-air personality and decided to capture his professionalism on TV. What follows is proof that McInnes is even more prolific in real life than even his new book, Street Boners: 1746 Hipster Fashion Jokes, or his online “Dos and Don’ts” bible, suggest. The video and some McInnesisms after the jump.

“It bums me out when people talk about the girl’s bone structure or something. Your beef is with god, not her. But the internet is all horny fourteen-year-olds. So you’re fourteen and you can’t get anyone to fuck you, and now you’re mad at chicks.”

“The beautiful thing with Twitter, is you have your notebook anywhere. You can’t lose it. And you can tell if it’s funny from retweets. Like the other day, I said, ‘Park Slope? That’s like the most Korean name ever.’ No one retweeted it. I guess that’s not a zinger.”

“Superman is like brute force,” he says unraveling a long superhero beach towel. “He’s like WalMart. Spiderman is more tenacious, though. He’s like Goldman Sachs. He’ll bundle mortgages behind your back.”

“You’ve got to be careful if you see a hot ass. The trick with wives is to point out hot dudes too. For every three hot dudes you point out it earns you one ogle.”

After the shoot wraps and we’re cruising back to Manhattan in a motorhome, McInnes has the driver pull over at a bodega because he’s diabetic and is going to die if he doesn’t get some sugar quick. It isn’t until he rolls back in with a couple of six packs for the crew that everyone realizes he was bullshitting.

View the full gallery, or take an in-depth look at the method behind this particular brand of madness. Interview by Luke O’Neil. Photography by Ruvan Wijesooriya. Styling by Christopher Campbell. Genius by Gavin McInnes

Boston: Top 10 Bars for Expertly Mixology

Eastern Standard (Fenway) – This huge bar and restaurant is always packed because of its proximity to Fenway Park. They also have some of the best bartenders in the city, many of whom have branched out into the other spots below. If your bartender apprenticed here, you know you’re in good hands. Try the Whiskey Smash — they’ve served 21,000 in the past four years. ● Craigie on Main (Cambridge) – The food here is justifiably renowned, but the bar deserves a lot of credit too. Stop in for an impromptu lecture on the history of the martini while it’s being made, or just let them mix you a Threadneedle Pimm’s, replete with pineapple syrup and juniper branches. ● Drink (Fort Point) – Another gathering spot for the area’s best bartenders who are drawn to the creative theme of the bar. No drink list, just spirit and flavor suggestions from the customers. Allows for experimentation on the fly, and an opportunity to school us noobs on what a cocktail really is.

Green Street Grill (Cambridge) – The only thing that could make this neighborhood bar any more cozy is tossing back a few of their signature drinks. Try the Diamond Back — Old Overholt Rye, Applejack, green chartreuse. ● The Blue Room (Cambridge) – Longtime favorite is known for its rustic charm, fabulous brunch, and lived-in feel. Tenders here know their way around a bar, be it with classic mixing techniques, how to use experimental ingredients, or turning on the charm. Go with The Dark Side — Plymouth gin, Erbaluna Barolo Chinato, Peychaud’s bitters, lime, star anise. ● Dante (Cambridge) – A hearty red wine with one of the rich pasta or seafood dishes here is great, but consider sipping a light refreshing Italian style cocktail like the Amoroso Fizz (Aperol, orange juice, soda, Prosecco) on the patio overlooking the river, and it’ll feel like Rome. ● Beehive (South End) – This creative spot has a throwback artist’s colony vibe. The drinks are just as creative and full of flair as the decor. Be sure to try one of the champagne cocktails, like the Yellow Jacket — yellow chartreuse, St. Germaine, lemon. ● Franklin Cafe (South End) – There’s a few locations to choose from, but we prefer the South End classic. It’s small, romantic, and not as common as you’d think. Drink list has a classics focus, so stick with what they do best, like a Ward 8 — rye, lemon, grenadine). ● The Independent (Somerville) – Don’t be fooled by the dim Irish pub interior — they can mix a Manhattan here just as well as they pull a pint of Guinness, which makes this a favorite stop for hipster neighborhood beer heads and cocktailers alike. ● Sonsie (Back Bay) – There’s plenty of people watching to do sitting by the big open windows overlooking the Newbury Street promenade. We recommend gazing into a Re-Fresh Cocktail–Hendricks Gin, St. Germains, muddled cucumbers, lime).