Loopy Doopy Bar Is Not a Goldman Conspiracy

The Loopy Doopy Rooftop Bar at the Conrad New York hotel might fit neatly into the general conglomerate of Manhattan rooftop bars, but for one fun fact: the building is owned by Goldman Sachs. As part of what’s been dubbed “Goldman Alley,” Loopy Doopy—named for the Sol DeWitt piece in the hotel’s lobby—goes along with the Shake Shack, Vintry Wine & Whiskey, and Salvatore Anzalone’s barbershop to form Battery Park City’s new all-inclusive comfort zone for the 8,000 Goldman employees that come and go about the company’s main tower.

“On a Tuesday night, usually, you can’t move it’s so packed,” the bartender tells me, pouring a Maker’s and soda right before closing up—at 8:15 pm—because of high winds.

“And it’s all people from this company?”

“Goldman? Well, they own the building, so they probably encourage them to come here, I don’t know.”

“And they’re cool?”

He shrugs, swapping through facial expressions until he finds one that fits. “Yeah—I mean—yeah.”

This Tuesday, it’s a mellow scene. It’s Goldman people, but even better—Goldman interns. Skinny boys in blue and pink dress shirts huddle around like asparagus, not quite certain how to hold a drink in their hand. Twentysomething girls in pretty dresses sit at the bar, looking slightly disappointed that every other male there is still a child (myself included. Though I did carry the briefcase my mom bought me that I’ve never used). 

My old friend, whom we’ll call Wes, meets me at the bar so I feel like I have some reason to be there. He happens to be an advisor (or something) at JP Morgan, and I happen to be interested in figuring out what the hell Libor means.

I won’t bother to quote, because it’s super convoluted, but the important part is, Barclays took over Lehman Brothers after the financial collapse. And now that this interest rate-fixing scandal has come to light, everyone at Barclays except the chairman, Marcus Agius, is getting in trouble. Why hasn’t Agius gotten in trouble? Because he married a Rothschild. And the Rothschilds somehow have a stake in the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, which they intend to maintain, in order to control the cost of money and the value of everything they hold.

If that sounds weird, or Ron Paul-ish, the answer is yes, you’re welcome. What else is a little weird is that this massive investment bank owns a hotel and a couple restaurants and a gym and a barbershop, and their employees are “encouraged” to patronize them and stay within a one-block radius of the office for anything they’d need. I’m not saying there’s a definite conspiracy theory to be hatched, but for such a massive company that relies on manufactured financial products and manipulated interest rates (even if indirectly), it’s sort of weird that they intend to keep their sheep so close to the shepherd, especially since New York is a fine enough pasture from tip to tip. And what I also know, from watching enough Hitchcock movies, is that if something strange and menacing has to go down, it usually happens on a rooftop. Cheers.

Drink and Get High at New York’s Newest Rooftop Bars

Instead of grassy eco-roofs, the latest crop of new hotels is planting bars up top. Maybe they’re there to evade air rights litigation. More likely it’s that bars are more fun—and more profitable—than plants. Either way, it’s that time of year again. The namesake pool at La Piscine, the bar and grill atop Chelsea’s Americano, is purportedly for guests only, but why swim when you can eat and drink? A special elevator carries patrons up ten floors. The Mexico D.F.-based management likes the crowd to lean Latin, so work on your mezcalito and caipirinha pronunciations.

Down at Battery Park’s new Conrad Hotel (as in Conrad Hilton, of Mad Men season three cameo fame), the rooftop bar Loopy Doopy is already a draw for financial fellows and the rest of the fun percent. The bar takes its name from one of Sol LeWitt’s massive gouache murals hanging inside the hotel. Atop the sixteenth floor you’ve got views of the city’s glass behemoths, and across the Hudson, there’s New Jersey.

Williamsburg’s Wythe Hotel joins the rooftop bar club with The Ides Bar, run by the same duo behind the hotel’s farm-to-table restaurant Reynards. Six stories up, the furnishings are minimal, but the craft beer and specialty cocktail list is extensive. Out-of-towners staying on the Brooklyn side of the river should make for a crew worth mingling with. What are hotel bars for, if not chatting up new faces? If nothing else, prime views of the Financial District will keep you occupied. So get up on a roof and drink. And bring sunscreen and shades, because you’re that much closer to the sun.