Stephen Colbert Skewers Brad Paisley and LL Cool J With ‘Oopsie-Daisy Homophobe’

I thought we were done as a nation talking about "Accidental Racist," but apparently, this dead-on-arrival and racist horse needed one last flogging, and who better to do said flogging than Stephen Colbert? The introduction of Colbert’s skewering of Brad Paisley and LL Cool J’s accidentally-racist trainwreck is actually pretty funny — aftert the opening verse plays, Colbert offers, "[The Confederate flag] just means you’re a Lynyrd Skynyrd fan, in the same way that having a burning cross on your lawn just means you’re a Madonna fan." And yeah, now that he mentions it, it is kind of surprising that no one’s brought up the "Like A Prayer" video for comparison / discussions of loaded imagery. Alright then.

Anyway, Colbert praises the song for uniting America in hatred of this mess (and it’s a shame because the rest of Brad Paisley’s album isn’t all that bad, either), and offers the healing power of music to bridge "another deep cultural rift in America—the gay marriage divide." Hence, "Oopsie-Daisy Homophobe," which takes the situation to a Crunch gym and as expected, is far more overt in its intention to offend. The best part is, of course, Alan Cumming appearing as the LL equivalent, which reads "we just picked a random obvious gay celebrity who we thought would have something to say about this" the same way choosing LL, as Ta-Nehisi Coates helpfully pointed out, was Paisley just assuming that just because LL is black and a rapper, he’d automatically be able to offer insightful contributions on racial discourse and the Confederate flag, when there are countless other rappers who have said much more salient things about race and do this sort of thing better regularly. Anyway, now the song is safely dead, we think, and you can watch Colbert and Cumming trade verses below.  

[via Hypervocal]

Oh, Brother: Brad Paisley’s ‘Accidental Racist’

As someone who grew up in the South, I totally get why old white dudes are like, "I’m just living my life the best way I can, and it’s not my fault that my accent makes me sound like I hate everyone who aren’t other old white dudes! There are years and years and years of culture affecting my mindset and worldview, and all I want to do it be able to listen to my old white dude music and watch NASCAR and love the people that I grew up with since I was a kid and also those before me who taught me to be the way I am." Having said that, it would probably be better if old white dudes from the South would, I dunno, maybe not keep saying that because, as you know, old white dudes have been in charge for a really, really long time, and it’s nice that they’re trying to be all emo about how hard it is to be an old white man sometimes, but it’s also a lot harder for literally everyone else. So, you know, fuck Brad Paisley’s "Accidental Racist," basically.

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Morning Links: Zooey D.’s Rough High School Days, LL Cool J to Host This Year’s Grammys

● "Girls spit in my face, people were so mean to me, I’d cry every day," says Zooey Deschanel of her rough high school days. She is just so "adorkable" now, though, you really can’t imagine, can you? [USA Today]

● For the first time in seven years, the Grammys will have an official host: a two-time Grammy winner himself, LL Cool J. [People]

● Pusha T, Frank Ocean, Big Sean, and Jay Electronica have all signed up to work on Kanye West’s G.O.O.D. compilation, due out, according to the man himself, "SPRING 2012." [Pitchfork]

 ● When Nick Cannon said he was suffering from "mild kidney failure," he really meant his kidneys "pretty much failed," but he didn’t want you to worry or think about Gary Coleman too much. [EW]

● L.A. City Council passed, in a nearly unanimous vote, a new city ruling that requires porn stars to use condoms during shoots. The times, they are a changing! [LAT]

● Jay-99 percent-Z’s Rocawear laid off half of its New York City workers the day before Blue Ivy’s luxury birth. [AnimalNY]

LL Cool J Freed From Sarah Palin’s Evil Clutches

The LL Cool J-Sarah Palin fight has come to an end, not with a knockout but a PR bitch slap. The rapper-actor was pissed that Fox News planned to use an old interview he gave in 2008 on Sarah Palin’s new show, Real American Stories, and was using the interview to promote the show, which premieres tonight, as well. On Tuesday, he tweeted his dissatisfaction with the situation, saying “Fox lifted an old interview I gave in 2008 to someone else & are misrepresenting to the public in order to promote Sarah Palins Show. WOW.” LL’s spokesperson issued a statement longer than 140 characters noting that LL was never scheduled to be a guest on the show and Fox had just repurposed an old interview without his permission. Fox News quickly hit back with a nasty little jab to LL Cool J’s ego.

The network has agreed not to air the LL Cool J interview, even though they say they could. But it’s their statement that’s really precious. ” “It appears that [he] does not want to be associated with a program that could serve as an inspiration to others,” it reads, “We are cutting his interview from the special and wish him the best with his fledgling acting career.” Fledgling acting career. Ouch.

Celeb Fashion Lines: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

We’ll pass on dissecting the value of a “Lauren Conrad Autographed Handmade Baking Dish” and a “Jessica Simpson Mini Dallas Cowboy Helmet,” but when it comes to celebrity clothing lines, let us get serious for a moment. We just don’t think it’s right for someone to use their celebrity status to convince people to buy things like a “Kimora Lee Simmons Blue Tunic Dress” or worse yet, the “Baby Phat Plus Size Scoop-Neck Sweater & Five-Pocket Jeans.” Fortunately, for all the countless duds — anyone familiar with Scarlett Johansson, Sadie Frost, Mandy Moore or 50 Cent’s lines? we didn’t think so — there are a handful of winners.

For example, there’s The Row from the Olsen Twins, or more surprisingly, Nicole Richie’s House of Harlow. Richie, who infamously dropped a lot of weight and adopted the vintage style of her then-stylist Rachel Zoe, keeps it simple and fittingly 60s-inspired with her just-released jewelry collection. As for the Olsen girls (kiddie stuff at Wal-Mart aside), the duo have capitalized on their oft-imitated personal style by churning out plenty of lustable vintage-inspired pieces that mix downtown cool with uptown chic in their Elizabeth & James line (at Barneys New York), collections.

Continuing with cookie-avoiding style icons, Victoria Beckham delivers with her dVb jeans (though we could do without the butt patches); her collection of ultra-fitted sheaths and shift dresses, unveiled during NY Fashion Week in September, are undeniably well-made. That said one has to wonder how much of her inspiration was drawn from Roland Mouret, a designer the fashionista has been known to favor.

Over on the modeling side, while we could do without Erin Wasson’s line, we’re all over Kate Moss Topshop. The wears will not only hit the New York flagship Topshop store when it opens in the spring — Moss’ line will get its own concept shop within the anticipated mega-store.

As for musicians and male designers, we love Gwen Stefani’s L.A.M.B. for the rocker meets lady-who-lunches aesthetic, and former Louis Vuitton guest designer Pharrell Williams’s Billionaire Boys Club and Ice Cream, which is sold at Pharrell’s spaceship-inspired boutique in Soho. Overall however, when it comes to musicians, we recommend staying away from their wears. Consider if you will Beyonce’s House of Dereon, which consists mostly of overpriced Marchesa and Carmen Marc Valvo knock-offs; and of course, there’s Jennifer Lopez’s jumpsuit-heavy collections — are we the only ones disturbed by the fact that J. Lo has 25 freestanding stores? Then there’s Jessica Simpson. We’ll just let this gem speak for itself.

That said, it might be kids who’ve got it the worst. Would you really want your son in this graphic mess from LL Cool J’s Sears line? Or your daughter in an Avril Lavigne ultra-mini pleated plaid skirt with stud accents?

On a slightly brighter note, anyone remember Rachel Bilson? Last year’s equivalent to this year’s Leighton Meester has designed a clothing line in collaboration with DKNY Jeans. With fitted blazers going for $79 and skinny stretch black jeans going for $69, the line is pricier than most celeb collections aimed at juniors — but with fitted pieces and a color-palette consisting mostly of black with pops of white and yellow, Bilson delivers a solid collection deserving of the DKNY stamp. Though, we’d venture to guess you could find everything in her line at H&M for a whole lot less.

For us though, it’s the over-Fabulositized Kimora Lee Simmons that takes the don’t-cake. Sure Lauren Conrad’s line is boring, Eve’s collection is poorly-made, and Nicky Hilton can’t even get retailers to carry her Nicholai wears. But when you’re encouraging pre-teens to wear this or this or this, you’ve crossed the inappropriate and ugly lines by record-setting strides. And don’t even get us started on Baby Phat, Phat Farm, or the KLS Collection. We’ll just leave you with this, and our apologies.