Tongue Wielder Miley Cyrus Licked a Piano and Sold It For $50,000

Photo via Instagram

Miley Cyrus’ tongue has become a useless fixture of pop culture, inspiring thousands of viral memes and informing the direction of Halloween costumes modeled after the singer’s foam finger-flailing VMA performance. During the LGBT Center’s Vanguard Awards Gala on Saturday, however, Cyrus’ famous asset became unlikely bait for charity when a white grand piano that she licked onstage sold with the unfathomably steep bid of $50,000.

Celebrating her philanthropic work with the Happy Hippie foundation, the 22-year-old Dead Petz singer received the Vanguard Award from the LGBT Center—a formal acknowledgement that Cyrus fittingly shook up when she began auctioning off said piano beside songwriter Linda Perry. With a shameless flick of her unstoppable tongue, Cyrus raised an incredible sum for the Center in the only way she knows how. Sure, we admit it’s easy to dismiss the Disney Channel survivor for all her wonky antics, but these are the rare moments when acknowledgment is undeniably due. 

“I want all of you to know that I feel beyond grateful to be in a room full of so many people who care so much about others because unfortunately that is way too rare in the world that we live in today,” Cyrus said to the audience after accepting her award. “I’m thinking of tonight not as celebrating what we’ve already done but what we’re doing and what we’re going to do in the future.”

Linda Perry Makes Some Very Hypocritical Comments About Katy Perry

The other day, rock n’ roll headmistress Linda Perry had some not-nice things to say about Katy Perry, who, we were shocked to find out, isn’t her daughter. The comments, made backstage at the Ford Amphitheater in Hollywood and recorded on video, may not have been wrong, but were shocking in their blind hypocrisy.

Perry, who is best-known as the lead singer of 4 Non Blondes but has enjoyed a career renaissance as an in-demand songwriter (more on that later), had this to say about the younger Perry:

I’m not a huge fan of Adele but that’s a solid record and it’s selling. That means people are still buying records. It’s the crappy, like, who wants a Katy Perry record? I’m sorry, but you’re going to get the two songs that are probably the hits that are good, but the rest of the album is going to be crap. It’s going to sound like shit. So people download the single, and that’s it. She’s great for what she does, but she’s not reinventing the wheel, she’s not giving substance, she’s just giving microwave popcorn to feast on right at this moment. She’s not looking to change the world musically, so all the power to her. I’m not saying that’s bad, I’m saying it’s not what I participate in. That’s part of the reason why the music business is in turmoil.

Valid points, all of them, until Perry claims that catchy for catchy’s sake is not what she participates in. Isn’t it? That second career as a songwriter we mentioned earlier involves Perry penning number one singles for Christina Aguilera (“Beautiful”), Gwen Stefani (“What You Waiting For?”), and Pink (“Get the Party Started”). Each one of those fall under the same umbrella as Perry’s sickly-sweet, chewable bubblegum pop—let’s call them slumber party anthems. So how can we explain Perry’s contradictory comments? And does Katy Perry have the gumballs to call her out on them? We sure hope so!