Shoes, Shopping, LeBron James, & Furlough Parties: Fashion News You Need to Know 10/4

Struggling to get started on work this morning? Catch up on the fashion news of the day first, and remember, it’s almost the weekend.

King (LeBron) James performed a few magic tricks and stunts for attendees of the Audemars Piguet Sports Watch launch.

No government, no problem? Some still-updaid government workers are making the most of the forced time off.

Fashion fate… an ominous tweet from Nina Garcia…

Shoe crazy and in Paris? There’s a Roger Vivier retrospective going on that could help.

This is big. French retailer COS  – if you don’t know, now you know – is opening up a pop up in Opening Ceremony’s Howard Street store in NYC next week. (It’ll open a standalone shop in 2014, too). Prep your credit cards, and I’ll see you there.

Maybe there’s a reason Fab.com is laying off over 100 employees…

Why Do So Many Ballers Channel Steve Urkel These Days?

We really didn’t expect star NBA players to jump on the geeky bandwagon… I mean, aren’t jocks the mortal enemy of geeks? What’s a-goin-on? But lo and behold, MVPs everywhere have been spotted getting Urkel-fresh in in varsity cardigans, lensless wayfarers and sailboat-ready terrycloth polo shirts. There’s even an Adidas t-shirt out now emblazoned with the alter-geek-os of Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant (I have to admit, they’re pretty cute). I guess wearing those bulky letterman jackets and pull-on gym pants off the courts was getting a bit too costly at the dry cleaners. Here are a few star b-ballers who have defaulted to the Dark Side of the Courts. 

LeBron James
On the court, James is a ball-dunking demon, but off, James often sports lensless horn-rimmed wayfarers and crisp, collared schoolboy button-downs. He’s also a fan of pairing button-down suit vests with retro kicks, striped cardis with tweed ties and private-school crested blazers with… well, anything, really. We think he’d fit right in on the grassy lawns of Oxford, don’t you?

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Russell Westbrook
Never without his signature fire-engine red specs, Westbrook has even claimed to be the original “Nerd Swag” arbiter in a recent interview with the NYTimes. “I’ve been wearing glasses since I’ve been in the league,” he said. “I think everybody else just started wearing them now.” Them fightin’ words! A bespectacled James quickly retorted, “There’s no stories behind it. It’s a look. It’s a fashion thing. But he absolutely didn’t start it. I know I’ve been wearing mine for about two years now. I don’t know who started it. None of us started it. It could have started back in the ’70s or ’80s. Fashion comes and goes over decades.”

There you go. James – 1, Westbrook – 0. 

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Dwayne Wade
It’s not easy being an all-star MVP: after all, you can’t really control what color of finger casts they have at the doc’s office. That’s why we think Wade is a genius for finding the perfect shade of plaid blue-green to contrast with his teal mini-cast. Bonus points for selectively posing next to an FD&C lime-colored Gatorade bottle. 

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Kevin Durant
Durant is bringing the sexy back—literally. The 23-year old small forward for the OKC is seldom seen in public appearances without his beloved backpacks. He also has a penchant for tangerine-colored skinny ties, frilly pocket squares and little floral lapel pins. We love a man who has some feminine flair. 

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Amare Stoudemire
Stoudemire can check off “sitting front row with Anna Wintour” off his bucket list in addition to “best use of a full blue sateen suit outside of a ‘70s movie.” The fashionably forward center player for the Knicks can often be seen wearing a checked bowtie, sleek black spectacles and preppy cardigans.

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Morning Links: Michelle Williams Next Big Role, Beyoncé Gets a Monument

● Michelle Williams’s next big role is to be somewhat less glamorous than her last. With no big projects on the horizon, she says that she "just [wants] to go back to being a mom for a while." [Huff Post]

● Kim Kardashian has made good business of her nearly 13 million Twitter followers, earning upwards of $10,000 per endorsed tweet for brands like CVS and ShoeDazzle.com. And although she’s tops, she’s not alone in the tweet-for-pay game: Snoop Dogg makes $8,000 and Whitney Port makes $2,000 per 140 characters. [NYM]

● LeBron James straight-up jumped over a guy to complete an alley-oop at last night’s Heat/Bulls game. [TMZ]

● Another weekend, another award show! Last night’s Screen Actors Guild awards were dominated by The HelpBoardwalk Empire, and Bridesmaids’s drunk cast. [THR]

● The city of Houston has apparently lent their support to a monument/mini-museum being built in honor of hometown hero, Beyoncé. “We wanted to construct, like, a massive hall so as the doors open, if you donated to the monument, you’ll have a separate nameplate,” say the two men behind the plan. “There will be clips of Beyonce with Destiny’s Child and wardrobe like a mini museum.” [MyFoxHouston]

● With David Fincher unwilling to budge on the rather brutal sex scenes, Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is struggling to get release in other countries like India. [THR]

● Amber Rose seems to have gotten a tribal face tattoo, a la Mike Tyson. Cute? [MTO]

A Rabbi Tried to Sue Jimmy Kimmel & Failed

Rabbi Dovid Sondik is somewhat of a YouTube sensation. Search “The Flying Rabbi,” and a myriad of videos featuring Sondik rapidly talking to people in their cars will pop up. Over the summer, Jimmy Kimmel spliced himself into one of those videos for a bit about LeBron James meeting with a different RabbiRabbi Yishayahu Yosef Pinto. Sondik took objection to his image being used, and tried to sue Kimmel. Unfortunately, as the judge threw out Sondik’s case.

The Daily News reports Judge David Schmidt rejected the claim because “The clip of plaintiff at issue was used as part of a comedic (or at least an attempted comedic) or satiric parody of LeBron James meeting with Rabbi Pinto, itself undoubtedly an event that was newsworthy or of public interest." Watch the bit below and  feel free to decide if it’s worthy of Judge Schmidt’s high praise for its, “attempted comedic” nature:

"Plaintiff looks nothing like Rabbi Pinto," Schmidt asserted. "It is apparent that the piece primarily makes fun of the idea that LeBron James was seeking business advice from a spiritual leader with whom he could not actually converse." Schmidt used an old Leno bit as precedent. Leno was sued years ago for featuring someone’s business card without authorization during one of his Headlines segments, but that claim was thrown out. Had David Letterman sued Leno for stealing the Headlines bit from him, however, he may have had a case (but that’s a whole different story).

Sondik’s Lawyer told the Daily News, “My client is a private person and didn’t do anything to deserve being the butt of a joke on national TV." Cheer up, Rabbi Sondik. The joke was on LeBron.

Stephen Colbert on Lebron James’ Idiotic Post-Game Speech

Between Anthony Weiner and LeBron James, it’s difficult to say who’s having a worse week in the media. Weiner might be the obvious choice—what with his career in shambles and more pictures surfacing daily—but his brand of exhibitionism still seems less offensive than James’ antics surrounding the 2010 NBA draft. Most of us rooted for LeBron to fail in the recent NBA Finals; that collective ill will was justified by his post-game speech on Sunday. Stephen Colbert, for one, was particularly moved by it.

Surely LeBron must have imagined, at least for a moment, what it would be like to go home without a trophy after obnoxiously touting the benefits of the James-Bosh-Wade dynamic. And surely, during that moment, he decided to further his reputation as athlete we love to hate by unloading some pretty snide post-game commentary.

On last night’s episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen, always the sympathetic host, had some encouraging words for Bron Bron as he nurses his wound: “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you disparage the pathetic lives of the little people who make it possible for you to have a career bouncing an inflatable ball.”

Watch below.

Morning Links: Selena Gomez Checked Into Hospital, Taylor Momsen Flashes Audience

● Selena Gomez checked into a hospital complaining of “nausea and a severe headache” after her appearance on The Tonight Show. Jay Leno gives us migraines, too. #getwellsoonselena [DailyMail] ● Last night was a big one for live-tweet aficionados: there were a lot of theater jokes, a lot of basketball jokes, and a lot of jokes about all the bad jokes. The Book of Mormon won nine Tonys, and on the court, the Mavericks beat Lebron James and the Miami Heat, taking home their first championship trophy (and some cool wide-brims). [NYT/NYT] ● Demi Lovato’s worst-life-ever continues, with her mom now in rehab and her boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama, now her ex. Sometimes things don’t get better… [Page Six]

● Lilly Allen walked down the aisle with her pregnant belly on full display last weekend for her wedding to Sam Cooper, where she announcing that she is, once again, pregnant. [DailyMail] ● Spencer Pratt is trying to dump his “midnight metallic-blue” monster truck on eBay, and not because he and Heidi need the money. No, just because it “gets too much attention driving a monster truck around L.A.,” and really, who would want all that attention? [TMZ] ● Taylor Momsen might like that attention! Here she is flashing a festival audience in England. She just can’t get enough. [ONTD]

Cavaliers Fans Synchronize Taunts for Lebron’s Homecoming

Lebron James will return to Cleveland tonight to face his former team of seven years. And there are absolutely no false pretenses that, excuse our French, shit won’t get rowdy. Cavaliers fans are already warming up their vocal chords to give him a raucous welcome home, and NBA officials have amped up security in the Quicken Loans Arena in anticipation of the game. This summer, when James made the decision to take up residence in South Beach with the Miami Heat, he watched Cleveland fans send his number 23 jersey up in flames, and read Cavaliers owner Dan Gibert’s infamous Comic Sans letter, which accused him of “cowardly betrayal.” Gilbert claims he’s since moved beyond the shock, and is now encouraging Cleveland fans to be classy during tonight’s game, but who does he think he’s kidding? Dedicated Cavs fans have created a detailed chant sheet, which they will distribute prior to the game, in an attempt to synchronize the taunts that will fly Lebron’s way tonight.

His return to Cleveland comes on the heels of the Cav’s current five-game losing streak, the most recent of which was Tuesday night’s 106-87 loss to the Boston Celtics. Before the game, James’ former teammate, Shaquille O’Neal, announced that he would take bets on whether or not Bron Bron would be brave enough to unleash his trademark talcum powder cloud before Thursday night’s game. “I’m anxious to see him do the powder thing,” he said. “We have bets he won’t do it.”

Shaq might want to amend his bet by 8pm, because James has confirmed that he will bravely keep the tradition alive tonight. After admitting that the game will be “difficult” and “emotionally draining,” Lebron says that he will still have fun, and looks forward to seeing his jersey hanging from the rafters in the Quicken Loans Arena one day. That might take awhile, but for tonight, just in case he loses his spine, his Miami Heat teammate Dwyane Wade will take care of the powder theatrics. “He’s done it for every game he’s played so why change for just one game?” Wade said. “If he doesn’t throw it up, I’ll throw it up for him.”

Links: Damon Lindelof Spoils ‘Inception,’ Linday Lohan Gets Cold Feet

Lost creator Damon Lindelof shared his theory about the ending of Inception (without issuing a spoiler alert!): It was Purgatory, within Purgatory, within Purgatory. [Twitter/DamonLindelof via Vulture] ● Michael Jordan admits he would never have done what LeBron did. Meaning, not win championships. [Huffington Post] ● Lindsay Lohan is having a shit fit over the idea of spending time in jail and is a “nervous, fidgety mess.” In completely unrelated news, she is currently in a sober living facility. [People]

● In more Lohan news, she just tweeted the cutest thing! “The only bookings that i’m familiar with are Disney films, never thought that i’d be ‘booking’ into Jail… eeeks” Awww! We love her again! [LindsayLohan/Twitter] ● Angelina Jolie and her formerly estranged father Jon Voight have officially kissed and made up. He was at the L.A. premiere of Salt last night. Wait, he got to kiss her? Lucky prick. [Huffington Post] ● Weird.Playboy isn’t Playboy anymore. It’s Maxim. [The Smoking Jacket]

Links: Mel Gibson’s Ex Has No Idea About Those Racist Tapes (Yes She Does), Jesse Jackson On LeBron

● “I have no idea. It’s terrible, terrible,” says Oksana Gregorieva, the mother of Mel Gibson’s child, about the recordings in which he threatens her and uses racial slurs. All he has to lose is everything. [E! Online] ● The “Barefoot Bandit,” who spent two years stealing boats, flying planes, and running from police without shoes, has been caught in the Bahamas. Expect him to tunnel out of jail at any moment. [AP] ● Emily Blunt married John Krasinski of The Office, and changed her named to Real Life Pam. [People]

● Jesse Jackson said Cavs owner Dan Gilbert’s attitude toward LeBron James was that of a “slave owner,” making LeBron, headed to play in Miami, a “runaway slave.” [TMZ] ● If the age difference between you and the mother of your child is greater than your age, you’re something special. Congrats, Aaron Johnson. [Celebuzz] ● How to trick people into thinking you’re good looking. [BuzzFeed]