Kobe Bryant’s Wife Files for Divorce

I am not a big basketball fan and while I understand the basic premise of getting the ball through the hoop, I can be cartoonishly girly when it comes to what happens when someone fouls or when people cheer for seemingly no reason.  "What happened?  Wait, is that good or bad?” But you don’t need a deep knowledge of the game to know the gossip, especially when it comes to Kobe Bryant’s past problems with mistresses.  His wife has filed for divorce because it could be a habit he can’t kick.

Vanessa Bryant famously stood by her man in 2003 after he was accused of sexual assault, holding fast to the statement that he was guilty of adultery but nothing criminal.  But it seems things got too much for Vanessa and she has filed for divorce.  Eight-carat, $4 million purple diamond rings can’t always buy forgiveness.

The couple has no pre-nup, which means she could be looking at a major payout. According to hoopsworld.com, Bryant will make more than $25 million this season, almost $28 million next season and more than $30 million in 2013-14. 

While papers cite irreconcilable differences, rumors of cheating are already starting to swirl.  Things could get messy fast. 

Afternoon Links: Catherine Zeta Jones Seeks Mental Help. Coachella Set Times Announced

● Catherine Zeta-Jones has entered a mental clinic for Bipolar disorder. Finally, someone who can admit it! [People] ● Mickey Rourke has gone on record saying his new movie with Megan Fox is “terrible.” Mikey Rourke has also gone on record saying “water is liquid.” [Vulture] ● Kobe Bryant: Fierce competitor or raging homophobe? The Lakers star has sort of apologized for hurling an anti-gay slur at a referee last night. [TMZ]

● The Coachella set times are here, and all we have to say is, Poor you, bands who have to play the same time as Kanye. [Coachella] ● Bret Easton Ellis took to his Twitter to compare Glee to a “puddle of HIV.” Apology coming in 5… 4… 3… 2… [Bret Easton Ellis/Twitter] ● Seann William Scott is out of rehab, which finally answers the question that’s been keeping us up at night: “When is Seann William Scott getting out of rehab?” [US]

Afternoon Links: Scarlett Tears Up, Taylor Lautner Is Loaded

● The Los Angeles Swan Lakers: In a pep talk to teammate Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant told the forward that he needs to be the Black Swan to Kobe’s White Swan. [ESPN] ● Watch a very loving encounter between ABC reporter Christiane Amanpour and some angry Egyptians. They “hat” her? Awww. [Gawker] ● Scarlett Johansson reportedly got teary-eyed during a recent reunion with her ex Ryan Reynolds, and we reportedly don’t care (a report that later proved to be false). [Us Weekly]

● The Mel Gibson saga takes a dark turn: His 2006 anti-semitic rant against Malibu police offers might have been a death wish, or “death by cop,” according to Peter Biskind. Fortunately, he only managed to kill his career. [VF via PageSix] ● Dana Carvey is back on SNL this week, and they’ve got the promos to prove it. Schwing, indeed. [NBC] ● News flash! Taylor Lautner makes more money than you! And Will Smith, Robert Downey Jr., Jerry Bruckheimer, Robert Pattison etc. [VF]

Kobe Bryant is Photoshop’s Latest Victim

Kobe Bryant and his fellow Lakers may be well on their way to winning another championship, but over on the West Coast the internet is abuzz over Bryant but for an entirely different reason. This past Sunday the sports icon graced the cover of the L.A. Times’ Magazine looking quite unlike you’ve ever seen him. Clad in various all-white ensembles, the fashion choices—which included a scarf wrapped turban-meets-tooth ache style in one particular shot—were no doubt all questionable. But, a far greater offense was the unrelenting photoshopping released on the images.

In the past, female stars like Tyra Banks have suffered the ‘lightening’ of their press images and editorials alike. (Meanwhile, Beyonce has had it go both ways.) But, in the case of Bryant’s Sunday magazine appearance, the problem was in fact the opposite: throughout the spread Bryant’s skin appears far darker than it is. Not to mention a good deal of smoothing with regard to his face left him looking decidedly androgynous. The clothes are worth scrapping over; the heavy retouching, a total game-changer.

The L.A. Times‘ Lakers blog attempts to clear up the confusion over the shoot with an interview with its stylist, James Valeri. “Kobe was amazing to work with because he was cool with everything. He trusted us.” Well, at least fans can sleep soundly knowing that the Grace Jones-goes-to-the-desert look wasn’t Bryant’s idea.

Beyond Rachel Uchitel & Tiger Woods: More Philandering Millionaires

Some of you may have spent the weekend being decidedly ostrich-like, burying your head underground while this sordid Tiger Woods-Rachel Uchitel car crash went from “On Fire” to “Volcanic” on Google Trends. Sadly, the holiday must come to an end and you must dust dirt off your eyelids and witness this spectacle. Tiger’s not the first fella to stray: millionaires since time immemorial have had a unique relationship with the institution of marriage. Let’s examine some of the sordid extramarital tales and thin-as-filo-wrap vows made by millionaires other than Woods.

Name: Alun Phillips Occupation: Heir to his father’s estate, including his $45 million fortune Style: In 2000, Phillips described himself as “an eccentric” in front of the court. I suppose that’s one way to spin this: He handcuffed his wife to the bath and then killed her. This was all in order to avoid paying a hefty divorce settlement, as he was making preparations to start a new life with his new girlfriend.

Name: Neil Ellerbeck Occupation: Chief Investment Manager, HSBC Style: This year, Ellerbeck was tried for strangling his wife to death. Both he and his wife carried on simultaneous affairs. While he made over $500,000 yearly as a banker at HSBC, she was independently wealthy. The breaking point: When she made it clear that she wanted to start divorce proceedings.

Name: Kobe Bryant Occupation: Shooting Guard, L.A. Lakers Style: It’s a tale as old as time. Man marries woman. Man has kids with woman. Man has extramarital fling with other woman. Other woman alleges man sexual assaulted her and man’s reputation as wholesome sports hero is forever tarnished. But man’s wife vigilantly stays by his side.

Name: John Edwards/Mark Sanford/Eliot Spitzer Occupation: Shady politicians Style: Not all extramarital affairs have to be so grisly! Also, it would be redundant to class Edwards, Sanford, and Spitzer separately. They’ve all recently enjoyed similar notoriety for cheating on their wives (with mistresses or prostitutes), thereby inspiring a tide of pity parties for the misses, Elizabeth Edwards, Jenny Sanford and Silda Spitzer.

Name: Mutt Lange Occupation: Record producer Style: I know we were going to try to veer away from the moral wasteland of showbiz, but the dissolution of Mutt Lange’s marriage to Shania Twain is too mired not to get into. Lange’s the one responsible for helping ex-wife Twain cross-over into the golden pastures of pop. In this delicate soap, Lange cheated on Twain, which led to a divorce. Which then led Twain to sensibly hook up with Lange’s mistress’ husband. Oh, the South (and Switzerland)! With its Wonderbread charm, all-American values, etc.

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