5 Things We Learned from the Bling Ring

Inside the pages of Vanity Fair‘s latest Hollywood issue is a fascinating look at the bizarre lives of Hollywood’s so-called Bling Ring, the group of Valley girls and boys who in 2009 went around burglarizing the homes of the rich and famous. You might remember sites like TMZ (which ironically is how the thieves knew their victims’ schedules) being all over this story while it developed. Back then, the accused were short on details, but now faced with the prospect of serious jail time, they’ve decided to backstab each other, like well, a bunch of Valley kids. The winners in all of this? Us! Writer Nancy Jo Sales gives juicy, first-hand accounts of the robberies of homes belonging to stars like Orlando Bloom and Paris Hilton, who seem to spend their money on exactly what you’d think Young Hollywood spends their money on: Rolexes, Louis Vuitton luggage, cocaine. For this, we can mostly thank Nick Prugo, a now remorseful ringleader of the whole operation, and a very generous tattletale. Here are five lessons learned from the saga of the Bling Ring.

Audrina Patridge has let fame get to her head. The Hills star put the media spotlight on the serial robberies when she sent an incriminating surveillance video to TMZ. And even though Patridge lost about $43,000 worth of stuff, the experience wasn’t all bad. Now Vanity Fair is writing about her, and she did not squander that opportunity to remind us how beautiful and famous she is:

“They took my great-grandma’s jewelry, my passport, my laptop, jeans made to fit my body to my perfect shape.” The estimated value of her stolen property was $43,000. Patridge said she believes the thieves were motivated by her fame. “Rachel Lee was a big fan of me. I was her target,” she said she’d heard from cops. “She’s a little obsessed girl, I gotta tell you. She’s going to get what she deserves.”

Kitson needs to change their credit card policy. Cashiers at H&M won’t even let me use my mom’s credit card, and yet somehow how Prugo and crew was able to walk into one of L.A.’s buzziest boutiques with rich people’s credit cards, “go shopping,” and “no one would question.” Sounds like “no one” should be fired.

Paris Hilton’s got great blow. After finding “about, like, five grams of coke in Paris’s house”, Nick Prugo and Rachel Lee “snorted it and left.” Then they “drove around Mulholland, having the best time of our lives.”

Leonardo Dicaprio is ageless. Apparently I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to accept that the quintessential heartthrob is five years removed from the big 4-0. Bling Ring vixen and aspiring reality TV star Alexis Neiers agrees with me:

“Nick really liked the life we had,” Alexis said. “He wanted to live like us. He wanted to tag along with us to the clubs we went to, like Apple, Guys & Dolls, Teddy’s, Ecco. It was known that we were out hanging out with Emile Hirsch and Leonardo DiCaprio—just, like, typical Young Hollywood.

Facebook is now a crime-fighting tool. While TMZ was being used to help people break into Rachel Bilson’s pad, the LAPD “used Facebook to ascertain that Lee and Prugo were “friends” with each other.” Privacy settings, people!

Links: Kitson vs. Lindsay Lohan, ‘New Moon’ vs. ‘The Blind Side’

● Hell hath no fury like Kitson scorned. The painfully hip Los Angeles store is wielding their retail power over Lindsay Lohan after she demanded $15,000 worth of free clothing for being such a “good customer.” The store is deeply “offended” and owners are thinking of dropping Lohan’s leggings line. [FoxNews] ● Katy Perry’s parents don’t have much faith for her relationship with Russell Brand in the long run. Her father has said, “I have met Russell, I’m not thinking he’s the guy who will be her husband, but he’s a nice guy.” [MrPaparazzi] ● Rihanna may or may not want her next boyfriend to be good in bed and have a sizeable “umbrella” of his own, but she certainly didn’t say that during an interview with German magazine Bravo. [GossipCop]

● Although New Moon bitch-slapped the box-office competition this weekend, The Blind Side, which landed in the #2 spot, turned out to be Sandra Bullock’s best opening of her career. [BOM, Reuters] ● Those living in the Houston area, watch out — Dr. Conrad Murray is coming to a clinic near you. Michael Jackson’s former physician will start back at his medical clinic today. [Fox] ● Monica Bellucci will bless the world with another child; the preternaturally beautiful Italian actress is reportedly pregnant with her second child. [MediaFax]

W2W2: What to Wear to Avenue, New York’s Newest Toast to the Good Life

The Spot: Avenue (Chelsea) – New lounge from Marquee mandarins and soon, your Friday night excuse to get dolled up in your most painful pumps and be seen.

Patron Saint of Style: Scarlett Johansson, with curves that are the epitome of glamor, she is now the official face of poppin’ bottles. Her newest advertising deal with Moët Chandon (pictured) means the mini Marilyn Monroe shall forever be synonymous with the luxe life.

Ambiance: We’re not sure, but from the looks of it, not a lot of dancing, which means a lot of posing and posturing from the bottle-buying set. The latest addition to the Chelsea club family, the usual preened and primped bottle models shall do their kin right, toss on their latest Bebe or Versace dress that daddy bought (sugar- or biological), slather up with their scented sparkly self-tanner, and help each other finish the booze. Strappy super-tall pumps to compete with the other models, platforms laced at the ankle to keep from teetering off the tabletop. Feet will hurt, and hurt bad, but that is the price to pay when you aren’t paying for drinks, ladies. Cut out mini-dresses, cleavage-baring tops. and shiny baubles should match your glass of champagne and get you in the front door.

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The Look: Scarlett only needs a bottle of Moët to look party-ready, and by the end of the night that’s probably all you’ll be wearing too. But before then, you’ll need clubland’s best. Body-conscious dresses in touchable fabrics take center stage, though not to upstage the real star of this event: skin, and lots of it. Mini-hems, strapless cuts, and off-the-shoulder straps that should keep slipping off the shoulder with every sip. Heels sturdy enough to dance drunkenly with the girls to the newest Kelly Clarkson remix, and fashionable enough to feel comfortable posing on the benches. Tiny clutches with intricate details will show off the logo and are small enough lug to the after-party. The color palette should complement your skin tone (since there will be so much of it) and match the club’s interior: burnished gold, bronze, and flecks of green, which also happens to be the colors of money.

Get the Avenue Look: Clockwise from left: ● Ring: Tiger Eye, House of Harlow 1960 (available at Kitson) – $48 ● Necklace: Long Snake Chain, Martin Grant (available at Saks 5th Avenue) – $795 ● Dress: Bow-front bustier, Moschino Cheap & Chic (available at Saks 5th Avenue) – $333 ● Dress: Cut Out Dress, Alexander Wang (available at Oak) – $565 ● Platforms: Studded strappy shoes Burberry ● Sandals: Platform Sandal Donna Karan – $589.95$ ● Clutch: Logo Clutch Tory Burch – $275 ● Ring: Green Headlight Ring Kenneth Jay Lane, (available at Macy’s) – $58

LA Openings: Kitson on Melrose, Mohawk General Store, Zachary’s Smile

Mohawk General Store (Echo Park) – Newest addition to hip Echo Park shopping breaks off a lil’ East Coast flav for LA’s Eastside. ● Zachary’s Smile (Silver Lake) – New York line finds friendly home at Silverlake’s Sunset Junction. ● Kitson (West Hollywood) – LA’s finest girls and boys shop just got finer.

Lauren Conrad, Victoria Beckham Kicked from Kitson

imageWho knew LA celebrity haven boutique Kitson was so tough? They’ve dropped two of their celebrity fashion lines from their store due to poor sales. Kitson — which still houses Paris Hilton design ventures — dropped both Lauren Conrad’s collection and Victoria Beckham’s menswear denim line. The Hills star Conrad always considered herself a designer first, so the drop must be quite the blow to her designer ego. Kitson owner Fraser Ross said she dropped Conrad’s clothing line because, although the sales were “initially great,” they soon became “lackluster.” Ross says she tried to get Conrad to make a personal appearance, as promoting a clothing line is no different than promoting a CD or TV show, but Conrad’s “people” couldn’t figure out a date. The same goes for Beckham’s line; sales are so bad that Kitson has 600 pairs still remaining from its original April 2007 stock. Just because every celebrity (and their mother) has a fashion line doesn’t meant he product will move.