MONDAY FUNDAY: Tonight’s Top NYC Events

So it’s the first day of the work week and there are four more days to go. We get it. But why ruminate when you can start to make Mondays the best night of the week? This weekly column is devoted to finding the best events across NYC hosted by individuals and places that are doing amazing, crazy, wild, sexy things on Monday nights. And we’re here to honor them. Here are tonight’s top events.

Eat something fried & delicious:
Celebrate the third night of Hanukkah by honoring that beautiful fried potato pancake at the Fourth Annual Latke Festival at BAM. Chefs from favorite Brooklyn and New York restaurants – like Blue Ribbon, The Vanderbilt, Balaboosta, Veselka, and A Voce – will fry up and compete for the coveted top latke award. For a $55 ticket, you get to eat the winning latkes and jelly doughnuts from Dough, and drink beer, wine, coffee from Brooklyn Roasting Company, and kombucha from Kombucha Brooklyn.  It’s Brooklyn, b%#%@. 6:30pm, $55 at BAM. For tickets, call BAM at 718-636-4100.

Hear something deep & brooding:
Get existential and transported to communist Russia at East Village red-swathed literary den KGB, where their longtime poetry night debuts aspiring and surprisingly prolific and lauded authors. Tonight marks the season finale of readings by Mark Strand, former Poet Laureate of the US, and published author Malachi Black. Damn. Grab one of KGB’s famous $7, big bottles of Baltika beer – that beloved Eastern European brand that’s hard to find anywhere but in this second-floor, Russian dive – and get ready for some brooding and wordy seduction. Poetry night starts at 7pm, every Monday. All the details here.

Watch something disturbing and sexual:
We all love a good confession, especially when it involves a half-naked, excessively good-looking human being confessing from the get-go that he’s, since the age of six, “enjoyed a rather delightful sexual relationship” with his father. Which brings us to tonight’s event: an autobiographical play by Cuban writer-director-producer Michelangelo Alasa called Confessions of a Cuban Sex Addict. But since tickets are free – and this show is riddled with actors, smoke, smoking-hot actors, and incest – reservations are highly required and tickets are scarce. Show runs tonight and next Monday, 8pm, at the Duo Multicultural Arts Center. All the details here.

Be on the radio & meet sexpert Dr. Ruth:
NPR’S most puzzling show Ask Me Another” comes to Brooklyn’s beloved and intimate events space The Bell House, where the show will be live-taped – and you can be too. Get quizzed by the trivia-and-brainteasers-centric show’s host Ophira Eisenberg, meet tonight’s special guest & sexpert Dr. Ruth , and maybe even end up in the contestant’s chair, facing trivia games customized specifically for you. This show is so intimate, it’ll trick you into thinking you’re at a game night in your friend’s cramped and messy living room – until your buddy tells you the next day, “Hey! I heard you mess up on the radio!” Show starts at 7:30pm, $10, at The Bell House. All the details here.

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Zoe Hanson on Ho Ho Ho’s

It’s ironic in all the chatter about Tiger and his special friends, none of the sex workers he has reputedly employed, enjoyed and plowed have publicly come forward. As professionals, they know when to close their mouths as well as when to open them. Tales of $50,000 evenings are romping through clubdom and it seems the only people that kept their words were those that society tends to shun. Tonight a bunch of ex-hookers, ho’s, prostitutes, call girls, rentboys and those who enjoy their quiet or noisy company will gather for a very good cause. I caught up with my dear friend Zoe Hanson, a former sex worker/madam, and talked about the ups and downs of the oldest profession.

Tonight, December 17th, is the official International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. “In Canada, the United States, and Australia sex workers are organizing to end both general and state violence against our communities. A candelight vigil at the Metropolitan Community Church at 446 West 36th Street will bring attention to the plight of sex workers who all to often are hurt and even murdered. Speakers will include community organizers, peer educators, advocates, and artists. Zoe Hanson and I chatted over East Village tea and hummus and told war stories to each other. She’s sexy, brilliant and a real New York story.

You’re an old friend of mine, and I won’t be insulting you when I call you a whore, will I? Or is it ex-whore? It is ex-whore, although I do miss it. And no, I’m very proud of my life.

Which now includes being a wife and a mother. Tell me why this event is so important. This means a lot to me because I know so many women who have been brutalized, and one friend who worked as a prostitute was killed. We all know it’s a continuing problem where women are targeted because of their working on the streets, and being subject to random violence. It seems impossible to get protection from the authorities, but sex workers should be able to go to the authorities and be protected like any other citizen in our country. Today’s event at the Metropolitan Community Church is to bring attention to this problem.

Before this interview, you were telling me about another event called Ho’s, Hookers, Call Girls and Rent Boys Rock at KGB this Sunday, December 20th. Yes, there will be readings by myself and others. Hos, Hookers, Call Girls, & Rent Boys is the acclaimed anthology by David Sterry. I have a chapter called “L.E.S.” that got a lot of attention. I was mentioned in the New York Times Book Review article this summer, along with Audacia Ray. I would like to say David Sterry is my mentor, and one of the best writers covering the sex industry around right now. His best selling memoir Chicken is amazing as is his Master of Ceremonies.

You openly speak and write about your life as a sex worker, and your honesty has always endeared me to you. Tell me more about your work. My soon-to-be-published book is called My American Dream, Going Down in Gotham. My work can be found on Carnalnation.com and my site. I have readings on Blip and iTunes where I got 7000 hits with my story Sid about a Hasidim who wants to be dominated by being called antisemitic names! Not for the weak of heart.