Insta-Critic: Balmain’s 80s Supermodel Lineup

Photo: @balmainparis on Instagram

What is Balmain but a guaranteed spotting of Kanye + Kim + Kris + Kendall (on the runway) etc. Not content to be outdone by Olivier Rousteing’s A-list supermodel casting, Kim brought a surprise to her #frow seat: a new hairstyle so controversial, it captured Instagram’s attention just as much as (and if we’re being real, more than) the new Balmain collection. Since your breath is baited, here it is:

Blonde at Balmain

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

Kim steals the spotlight.

Now back to the clothes for a sec: Rousteing’s collection was filled with Beetlejuice infused looks and the show read like a who’s who of the models of the moment. We spotted Alessandra Ambrosio, Jessica Stam, Binx Walton, Karlie Kloss, Jourdan Dunn, Joan Smalls, Gigi Hadid, and Kendall Jenner, who must have to really train her eyes so as not to be distracted by her fam. The unapologetically maximalist collection was full of 80s brights, micro-pleats, flares, and ruffles. There was lots of lace, lots of boobs, and massive belt buckles. Shoulder volume, again, à la the 80s, no longer needs icky foam pads in 2015, Balmain delivered the look vis-à-vis massive fur sleeves.

BALMAIN FALL/WINTER 2015 Alessandra, Look 1 #BalmainFW15 #BalmainStory A photo posted by BALMAIN (@balmainparis) on

Alessandra opens the show.

Here’s your requisite Kendall pic.

Karlie gets punny.

BlackBook Party Tonight, One Of NYC’s Biggest Party Nights Tomorrow

‘Tis the season to be confused as too many events attempt to wash away the memory of the storm that nearly washed us all away and continues to define the lives of so many. The Sandy events will culminate in that Paul McCartney, Bruce, Bon Jovi, Who, Roger Waters, Kanye, Alicia Keys, etc., etc., etc. thingy at the Garden on December 12. I wonder if Kanye will complain about Paul McCartney’s billing or something like that. Kanye is doing three shows at Revel in AC for New Year’s weekend for those who do that.

A couple years ago, New Year’s Eve nights were defined by how long the open bars were and what kind of music was played. DJs are still the stars, but it’s great to see mega, super-duper, uber acts raising the good time bar. I can’t believe its Thanksgiving already. The storm seemed to wipe away the calm before the holiday storm. Up is down and down is up and gee, I have to pay rent already? Uptown comedy club Stand Up NY is taking its show on the road tonight with a one-off (which I’m guessing will eventually turn into a two-off or more) at Hair of the Dog, 168 Orchard St. at Stanton. A whole lot of great comics will bring cheer to your holiday starting at 6pm. You can get tickets here.

My Thursday rock and roll DJ gig at Hotel Chantelle with Sam Valentine is canceled due to turkey festivities, but it’s being pushed forward to Wednesday, tomorrow night. Hope those rockers get the message. 

Tonight, BlackBook has teamed up with Stoli for a Mixers and Shakers event at the Thompson LES on Allen Street. I hear the new hotel they are doing by City Hall is wonderful. I never get invited to these BlackBook things and I’m getting paranoid about it. I’m gonna crash it. Flash my column or something to the intern at the door. 

The confusing-on-purpose Murray Hill and his cohort Linda Simpson will make their Monday night BINGO extravaganza extra-extraordinary this coming Monday again at Hotel Chantelle with a joint birthday celebration. I, of course, never miss a BINGO and I am considering turning pro. I even had BINGO tattooed on my shoulder a couple months ago. I roll like that. 

Tomorrow night, the night before Thanksgiving, is traditionally one of the biggest nights of the year. Many have four or more days off work looming, and many are traveling in to dine with friends and relatives. Many places let college kids take over as they are flush with holiday loot. Others know their patrons will be absent for a moment or more as the snowbirds flock south to mark the Miami season and try to grab all the gusto and cash from them before they leave. Big DJs and quality entertainment abound, but call to see if the joints you usually like haven’t sold out to the frat-boy set. 

So if this is Thanksgiving, then December must be near and I am in no way ready for December. I must remind you as you feast and celebrate that many of our neighbors are still climbing out of the mud. Find time to help, donate, and contribute.

Because Size Matters: The Vegas-Style Party Launches Tonight

Whether size matters in the bedroom is still under debate, but the size of a party in a nightclub? Oh, the bigger, the better. And one party in particular is as big as it gets: Magnum Mondays. You know, like the large-sized condom company. Tonight, the party – which first began at STK Vegas by The ONE Group – is launching at its resident NY spot: STK Downtown, a restaurant in Meatpacking known for its ribeye dipped in truffle butter and creamed spinach.

Unlike the sparkler-filled brunch parties at Beaumarchais and Bagatelle, Magnum Mondays offers dinner and a party on the first day of the workweek – officially extending the weekend spirit to a three-day, DJ-filled affair. Beginning weekly at 7pm, the dinner parties start with steaks and celebrity DJs, and end with STK’s signature ménage a trios carnival dessert: a threesome of caramel corn, cotton candy, and a mini funnel cake.

Tonight kicks off with celeb DJ Ross One, who’s DJed with Jay-Z and Kanye, and continues each week after with talents like D-Nice (DJd for Stevie Wonder) and R&B, hip-hop DJ Reach.

Now if you can just recover from Sunday’s revelries and make it to tonight’s. I think you can do it.

Follow Bonnie on Twitter here

Morning Links: Anderson Cooper Gets Dirty, Michelle Obama on ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’

● Anderson Cooper tried to make a game for his followers, posting a picture of himself shirtless and covered in mud to twitter and asking followers to guess where he was based on hints like “Not a spa. I don’t like spas.” The dirt will wash off, but the muddy memories are forever. [NYDN] ● Emma Watson ran into the gay porn star who plays her in, uh, Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls, which totally “made her night.” [HuffPost] ● Jay-Z and Kanye’s endgame rap-collaboration Watch The Throne gets a final release date – it’ll be available digitally August 1st and in stores August 5th. [Complex]

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition welcomes their best guest yet, Michelle Obama. FLOTUS will help build, of course, green houses and play areas at a North Carolina center for homeless female military vets. What can’t this woman do? [TMZ] ● DMX was finally released from prison yesterday after serving an extra few days for a failed drug test. [Yahoo] ● Looking like Harry Potter is less sexy than you might think: “As far as I know, no one has ever desired to see my wang as a direct result of my looking like Harry Potter,” writes a New York Observer reporter who happens to look a lot like the beloved wizard. [NYO]

Morning Links: Charlie Sheen Locked in Hotel with 3 Porn Stars, Kanye’s Cover Art Banned On Purpose

● Director Baz Luhrmann believes in the green light of the orgiastic future, taking The Great Gatsby, with Leo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, and Carey Mulligan, to 3D. [HollywoodReporter] ● H&H Imports’ stock spiked 355% after rapper 50 Cent encouraged his Twitter followers to invest in the electronics company that’s helped sell George Foreman Grills and 50’s own Sleek headphones. [RapRapar] ● With the 40/40 Club well established, Jay-Z has secretly invested in another restaurant — his cousin’s Brooklyn buffalo wing joint, Buffalo Boss. [TMZ] ● After downing vodka shots at the hotel bar, Charlie Sheen has taken to his room in Las Vegas’ Palms Hotel with three porn stars. If you see this, Charlie, call your people — they are worried about you. [TMZ]

● After rejecting all the woman on his first go, the lovelorn Bachelor Brad Womack is indicating that he’s pretty much won this season. “I’m in love, head over heels,” he says of the woman he chooses. . [People] ● A New Yorker profile of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy cover artist, George Condo reveals that Kanye West asked, specifically, for “something that will be banned.” [NYMag] ● While a little internet-anxiety is healthy for anyone living in public, Winona Ryder’s fear of Google seems to come from a slightly different place: “We are a button away from joining Al-Qaeda,” she told Jimmy Fallon on last night’s Late Night. [Gawker]

Your Fake Fur Could Be Dog; Kanye & Amber Opt for Real Thing

Hold onto your faux fur hats. Apparently you might actually be wearing dog… or, more specifically, raccoon dog. Yes, it’s disgusting. And, obviously not true for all faux fur garments. But, according to an article in the San Francisco Gate, “you wouldn’t know it by looking at the label, however, because federal law only requires clothing manufacturers to disclose the inclusion of fur on a clothing item if its value is more than $150.” The loophole in legislation has allowed for hybrid rodent/dog furs to find their way into the mainstream but San Francisco Assemblywoman Fiona Ma is trying to change that by pushing for a bill that would require any real fur garment to be conspicuously labeled. (Five other states, including New York, have already passed similar legislation.)

Meanwhile, over in Paris at men’s wear and now haute couture fashion week, Kanye and his Lycra-loving front row mate Amber Rose have been seen making the rounds in the real thing. The duo showed up at Louis Vuitton’s men’s show in matching, floor-length fur jackets. Then came Rose’s veritable fashion faux-pas when she appeared at a subsequent show wearing a fur Louis Vuitton fanny pack around her waist. The jury may be forever out on whether or not fur is fashionable. Fur fanny packs, on the other hand, definitely don’t warrant a pass.