NJ Towns Say Hell No To ‘Jersey Shore’ Spinoff

Despite the promise of a marked increase in booze sales at local watering holes, two New Jersey towns have refused to allow Jersey Shore‘s spinoff Snooki and JWoww to sully their good names.

495 Productions has been scoping NJ locations where Nicole Polizzi, who is due to give birth soon, and her best friend Jenny Farley can film their second season. Season one was filmed at an apartment in Jersey City.

The Point Pleasant Beach Council unanimously denied a request by the production company to bring the ladies to town, as did Toms River. Both towns were presumably scoped out for their eagle-eyed Child Protective Services.

Glutton-for-punishment Seaside Heights, the town which has suffered through four out of six seasons of Jersey Shore (save the ones filmed in Miami and Florence), said Snooki and JWoww is always welcome back to film there. That would suit Point Pleasant Beach’s mayor, who huffed to the Asbury Park Press newspaper: 

"Seaside gave birth to them and that’s where they need to stay. That’s the kind of publicity Seaside wants. It’s not the publicity we want. We are a family tourist destination. That’s what we want to cultivate."

A family tourist destination? Doesn’t he know Snooki is about to become a mom?

Morning Links: Chris Brown Steals an iPhone, Lil Wayne Signs Fred Durst

● Chris Brown has been accused of angrily grabbing a girl’s iPhone after she took a photo of him and Tyga leaving a Miami night club. He yelled, "Bitch, you ain’t going to put that on no website," and drove away, iPhone still in hand. According to MediaTakeOut, Brown could face up to five years for "Robbery by Sudden Snatching” if he is found guilty. [TMZ]

● Just like we said he would, The-Dream has dropped a new one: "Kill the Lights," featuring Casha, who he introduced on his 1977. Talk about a slow burner… [RadioKilla]

● The liquor store in Snooki and JWoww’s new Jersey City neighborhood will not open for business for the two. [TMZ]

● Selena Gomez has gotten her first tattoo, and it’s got nothing to do with her BF Justin Bieber. [E!]

● Lil Wayne says he’s signed Limp Bizkit and Fred Durst to Young Money. "Everybody’s getting a chance," he explains with a laugh. What? [FunkFlex]

● Gerard Butler has checked into the Betty Ford Center for the treatment of substance abuse problems "triggered by the physical demands of shooting 300." [TMZ]

Morning Links: Snookie and JWoww Get The Go From Jersey City, Earl Sweatshirt Returns

● You can retire your "FREE EARL" tees, because it seems like the Odd Future rapper has at last returned from his Samoan exile. [RapFix]

● Courtney Cox hasn’t had sex since she split with David Arquette a year ago, but not for lack of trying. "No guy’s asked me out," she says. "I’m not saying I’m not ready to have a make-out session, but it just makes me nervous. I don’t like to go out in general." [Us]

● Erykah Badu was photoed out in Hollywood wearing stilletoed ice skates, but alas, as TMZ reports, "the 40-year-old will not be competing in any fashion Olympics." [TMZ]

● Maya Rudolph will return to her old Saturday Night Live digs as host on February 18th. Sleigh Bells will join her as musical guests. [Huff Post]

● Jersey City has given Snooki and JWoww the go ahead to film their Jersey Shore spinoff, and filming is expected to begin later this month. Take that Hoboken. [NYP]

House is ending its run at the end of this eighth season. You will have to consult a real doctor about your medical quandaries from now on. [THR]

● Naomi Watts has been cast as Princess Diana in Caught in Flight, Oliver Hirschbiegel’s drama about the last few years of Di’s life. [Variety]

You Really Have to See JWoww’s New Bikinis

The star of Jersey Shore may be fading, but JWoww’s becoming quite the busy media mogul. She’s released a book, she has a new show coming out with Snooki, but the best yet? Her new line of bikinis, Perfect Tan Bikini. Well, "best" being kind of vaguely defined here; I mean, so much blog snark only goes so far. They’re pretty eye-popping, though, to say the least. If you’re wondering how they stick in place, refer to the website’s FAQ:

The Inside of our bikini top is lined with Stick2U, our patented silicon based adhesive. Stick2U is activated by your body temperature so the warmer you get in the sun the more it stays in place. Have no fear, the top will stay securely in place. 

Hmm! That’s really something. Other reactions across the Internet were somewhat mixed. "I do not understand the physics of JWoww’s slutty new bikini line, which performs the heretofore unimaginable feat of being even sluttier than JWoww’s slutty clothing line," said Gawker. "Genius," said Fox News. "Shore not shy," said The Sun. It’s a bag of emotions. There’s a market somewhere for this. I’m sure it’s there.

Below, watch JWoww getting smacked at a wrestling show.

Morning Links: Crystal Harris Says Sex With Hef Sucked, Amy Winehouse Album Sales Soar

● Crystal Harris told Howard Stern that sex with Hef lasted “like two seconds” and that she had never really seen him naked. All of which amounts to “not bad” when you are sleeping with an 85-year-old. [People] ● Nicki Minaj was fined $1,000 for doing what Nick Minaj does best: shaking her superior booty. [RapRadar] ● Everything went according to plan at Amy Winehouse’s funeral yesterday: Kelly Osbourne sported a tribute beehive, Amy’s bodygaurds got one last bizarre picture, and Carole King was played. May she rest in peace. [HuffPost/AP]

● Amy Winehouse has reentered the charts, posthumously selling more albums this past week than she did in the week following her 2008 Grammy sweep. [THR] ● Paris and Lindsay are back together and life is back in harmony. [TMZ] ● Alexander McQueen left £50,000 (or about $82,000) for the care of Minter, Juice, and Callum — his pet dogs. [Guardian] ● Before there was Snooki and Jwoww, there were these girls. [VillageVoice]

JWoww Just Wants to Settle Down & Have Kids

Jenni “Jwoww” Farley from Jersey Shore says she just really wants to be a mom. Aww! Maybe she should stop getting into embarrassing drunken fights on national television and hanging out with people named “The Situation” and “Pauly D” before she takes that plunge?

She told Life & Style, “Hopefully I’ll be able to settle down and have kids within the next couple of years — maybe even the beginning of next year.” She also plans to stop going to the shore — good move, because it’s really no place for a child.

Isn’t she too young to be thinking about these kinds of things? So you’d think! Actually, she’s 26 years old. It’s a constant source of surprise, how old the cast members are. The Situation is like 40 or something. Pauly D is 30 (really). Can you believe it? Despite all evidence to the contrary, they’re actual adults.

Idea: Jersey Shore: The Baby Years. Or: A Baby Shore Story. Or Shore Kids: Growing Up Jersey. I’m sure someone at MTV will come up with a way to profit from Jwoww’s motherhood, somehow.

Morning Links: Two New Ways to Watch ‘Jersey Shore,’ Lady Gaga Plays Editor In Chief

● MTV is showing no signs of slowing down their Jersey Shore-ification of Italy. Yesterday they announced two new Jersey Shore spinoffs, one documenting JWoww and Snooki’s “life and love when the vacation is over” and the other following Pauly D, who is apparently “one of the country’s most in-demand DJs.” [The Wrap] ● Charlie Sheen is in New York for his “Torpedo of Truth” tour, and bedding at none other than really, actually maybe-presidential-candidate Donald Trump’s International Hotel. Duh, winning. [NYP] ● Sixteen years after its abrupt cancellation, Sundance Channel is set to offer My So-Called Life a second go. They’ll be rebroadcasting the single season beginning April 25, on Mondays at 11pm. Welcome back, Angela, Jordan, and Rayanne! [HR]

● Please forgive us for thinking there might just be some things Lady Gaga can’t do well, like edit a daily newspaper that’s handed out in subway stations in eighteen countries. Gaga is guest editing the Metro this May. You can always bring a book. [NYO] ● Yesterday, Oh No They Didn’t suggested that Britney might have needed a little help dancing in “Till the World Ends,” pointing to screenshots that, well, don’t look so much like Brit. Which is fine! We all need help sometimes. But Britney and team are denying the dance-double allegations without offering any real explanations for the questionable shots. In end-times, honesty makes for a close second to dancing, we would think. [PopEater] ● Are you worried that Prince Harry might miss the Royal Wedding because he’s stranded in the Arctic? The prince, who was visiting the north pole as part of a charity expedition, was scheduled to leave today but has had to delay his return due to a damaged runway. Should you be worried? Probably, yes. [E!]

Morning Links: Snooki & JWoww Get New Show, Gucci Mane Makes Britney Go Brrr

● The Assange biography The Most Dangerous Man in the World has been optioned, but can Julian succeed in his final act before his story leaks to the big screen? Your move, Wiki. [HR] ● Snooki and JWoww will be in Long Island this weekend shooting some sort of pilot for MTV. We can’t begin to guess. [TMZ] ● Hoping to avoid the heat MTV’s taking for Skins‘ scantily clad young stars, Taco Bell has decided to take ads for their frito-filled burritos elsewhere. [NYO]

● While in Sudan, actor/activist George Clooney contracted malaria, for a good cause: “This illustrates how with proper medication, the most lethal condition in Africa can be reduced to a bad ten days instead of a death sentence.” [HuffPost] ● Katy Perry is several feet taller than everyone who works at Facebook, thinks Mark Zuckerberg has “Baller style.” [Mediaite] ● “Britney’s so icy,” said Gucci Mane about the “Hold It Against Me” remix he’s working on with Britney Spears. “I am going to make her go Brrr.” Gucci? We’re beginning to worry about you. [Rumor Fix]

Morning Links: Snooki Officially a Best-Selling Author, Ricky Gervais to Cameo on ‘The Office’

● OMG! The New York Times‘s new best selling author, Snooki, loves you. [Twitter] ● Having been banned from Fox & Friends after suggesting Sarah Palin is “just a stupid threat,” Joan Rivers thinks Fox can “go fuck themselves.” [PopEater] ● Terminally shy Jenni Farley, Jersey Shore‘s JWoww, won a court battle to prevent her ex from distributing nude photos taken of her while under anesthesia. [TMZ]

● Role model Kim Kardashian took to her blog to offer counsel to a younger generation: “The kids from these shows are all over the news, even on the covers of magazines, and have been [sic] become almost like celebrities, but girls, these are not people you should idolize!” Really, girls, it’s all about making a sex tape. [Celebuzz] ● Reports yesterday suggested that Jon Gosselin might be settling back into reality, taking a 9-to-5 job working sales with eco-consultants Global Green Property Services. But this morning it’s rumored that he’s already quit, citing “kids that need him.” [HuffPo] ● Perhaps seeking a more welcoming platform for his jokes, Ricky Gervais is set to cameo on the US Version of The Office. [NYMag]