Charlize Theron and the History of Evil Queens

Long before the Julia Roberts stinker Mirror, Mirror came and went, there was talk about that movie and the forthcoming Snow White and the Huntsman and which witch—Roberts’ evil queen or that of Huntsman’s Charlize Theron—would be worst. Talk no more, folks. Today a clip from Huntsman, featuring Theron not-so-gently asking her loyal servant, played by everyhunk Chris Hemsworth, to go into some haunted-ass woods and hunt down Snow White so the queen can eat her heart already.

But what we’re seeing from Theron, while pretty good considering our recent smattering of evil queens, isn’t without precedent. No, there have been evil queens before. And they’ve been bad. Really bad. Like the Wicked Queen from Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Or Mary, Queen of Scots, whose bloody reign stretched across Europe and gave Vanessa Redgrave a meaty role to play.

There was Dame Judi Dench as the ultimate bad girl, even if she was royal only briefly, Lady MacBeth.

Pinks Flamingos’ Babs Johnson might not live in a castle, but Divine was sure one killer queen. And you don’t get much more evil than Babs.

Odd Coupling: Dame Judi Dench + Black Eyed Peas

And as much as we’d like to deny it, rarely has the phrase “like a house afire” — as in two people who get along incredibly well, like fire on dry timber, in fact! — ever been so promising. The last time the phrase was used with such verve, sources remarked about Leona Lewis and Stella McCartney getting along house-burningly well. And those rumors turned out to be true. So here we are, with rumors about one of the grand dames of Hollywood taking part in this unlikely collaboration. All because Dench and Fergie got along, “like a house on fire” while filming Nine together.

So much so that after a spirited chest-bump after wrapping production on Nine, they realized the best way to demonstrate their new creative alliance is by roping Dench into to bust a move on a BEP music video. Quite possibly their next single.

The band’s fourth single, “Imma Be” may hopefully see Dench shooting daggers at Fergie’s butterface with M-from-James Bond-like sharpness. Possible premises: a more MTV-friendly redo of Mrs. Henderson Presents. Failing, that, a sexified update of Notes On a Scandal which finds Fergie stepping into the Cate Blanchett role could also work. Obviously, an enterprise of this size is pointless unless a b-side featuring Dench reciting the BEP song as spoken-word poetry is also included on the single. Fatboy Slim’s Christopher Walken-assisted video for “Weapon of Choice” should provide an excellent blueprint either way.