Links: D’Angelo’s Botched Blow Job; Scientology Remains Terrifying, “Kafkaesque”

● Washed up soul singer and one-time walking six pack D’Angelo was driving around with $12,000 in his car before getting arrested for soliciting oral sex from an undercover cop. Where did D’Angelo get $12,000? [Daily Swarm] ● If a Joel Madden DJs the Oscars and no one is around to hear it, is Nicole Richie still famous? [People] ● Even the Oscars had a “Kanye moment” — and no, James Cameron did not make one of the best films of all-time… “of all-time!” [Salon]

● Inside Scientology things aren’t all Tom Cruise and John Travolta and Will Smith and Beck bro love parties. It’s far more “Kafkaesque.” [NYT] ● A word to the wise: If you’re getting your butt “enhanced” with injections, use a trained professional or you’ll end up looking like J.Lo today, instead of Jenny from the Block. [NYP] ● No one should miss this news: Mickey Rourke claims to have slept with 14 women in one night, with no mention of money or a film crew. [Page Six]

Links: No Full Monty for Levi Johnston, Gerard Butler Kilts Out

● Levi Johnston doesn’t show his johnson in Playgirl, according to a spokesman for the site. How can we ever trust him again? [NYDailyNews] ● Is Amy Winehouse going the way of Courtney Love? No, not with drugs, rather with plastic surgery. After getting a boob job, Wino is considering a nose job, as going under the knife has become her new obsession. [DigitalSpy] ● Are Nicole Richie and Joel Madden really married? She didn’t correct her lawyer in court when he referred to Madden as her husband. [People]

● Larry Charles, of Curb Your Enthusiasm and Borat fame, is teaming with the boys from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia for Boldly Going Nowhere, a TV show described as The Office in space. [Zap2It] ● Gerard Butler attended the Scotland premiere of Law Abiding Citizen in a traditional kilt. You’re welcome. [JustJared] ● It should come as no surprise that New Moon has slapped the competition silly to become the top advance ticket-seller in Fandango history; take that, Harry Potter and Batman. [Zimbio]

Links: Madonna for D&G, Rachel McAdams as Black Cat

● Madonna has moved on from being the poster girl for Louis Vuitton to the leading lady of the Dolce and Gabbana’s Spring 2010 collection; she shot the campaign yesterday with Steven Klein. [Swide] ● Winona Ryder will join Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in the ballerina romp Black Swan. [HR] ● Gwyneth Paltrow will push Nicole Kidman into becoming a man in their new film The Danish Girl. Paltrow will play painter Gerda Wegener, whose husband, played by Kidman, was the first post-op transsexual. [Us]

● Could Rachel McAdams be the villain in Spider-Man 4? Rumor has it she’s met with producers to play Felicia Hardy, a.k.a. the Black Cat. [Mania] ● The Madden brothers stormed out of an Australian morning show after Joel became enraged when he was shown the infamous Britney Spears crotch shot during a game with Benji. [NineMSN] ● Justin Timberlake has reported for duty at the Aaron Sorkin/David Fincher-helmed The Social Network. He will play Sean Parker, co-founder of Napster and Facebook’s founding president. [JustJared]

Links: Jon Gosselin’s Radio Fees, Snoop Dogg for ‘True Blood’

● Tom Ford has dressed numerous Oscar nominees over the years, but will he be present as a nominee at the Academy Awards in 2010 for his directorial debut? [FashionWeekDaily] ● Lauren Conrad wasn’t really serious when she said friend Lo Bosworth would be the star in the movie version of her book L.A. Candy. [Us] ● Jon Gosselin seems to be under the impression that people want to hear him speak and that radio stations should pay him $10-$12K for an appearance — because as we all know, Gosselin is “quite funny, sharp witted and interesting.” [MSN]

● Quentin Tarantino is gaga over Jane Campion’s latest film Bright Star — so much so that he wrote a passionate note to the female director, saying, “I don’t like period pieces like that. [but] I loved this!!!” [Moviefone] ● Snoop Dogg is a fan of True Blood; he name-checks it in his new song “Gangsta Luv” and says he wants to be a vampire on the hit show. [EW] ● Despite what the cover of Star says, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden did not get married, says Madden on his official site. [GoodCharlotte]

British Airways Says No to Joel Madden’s Tattoos

imageAirline policies (or lack thereof) are at best inconsistent, and at worst, discriminatory. Adding to all the hullabaloo about obese passengers having to pony up for another seat, another body-related issue has come up for discussion. Apparently, having visible tattoos is a no-no for first-class passengers. Good Charlotte’s Joel Madden was denied boarding on a recent British Airways flight until he put a long-sleeved shirt on to cover up his inked arms. However, the BA’s General Rules of Carriage say nothing about body modifications, and there isn’t a “no tattoo” clause in the Unacceptable Behavior section of the BA bylaws. Joel twittered about his experience in real time, and ended up putting a long-sleeve shirt on to make his flight. See his indignant Tweets about the incident after the jump.

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Who says punk is dead!

Links: Michael Jackson’s Haunted House, Angelina Jolie’s Bodyguard Tells All

● Michael Jackson is backing out of renting a UK mansion for his summer tour because he’s worried that the ghosts which reportedly haunt the mansion will scare his kids. [NotW] ● Kate Winslet a MILF? Most definitely! While walking with her kids, two high school boys followed behind, commenting on her nice, full bottom. Who needs an Oscar with fans like that? [P6] ● Joel Madden let everyone on the Twitter-verse know he was asked to cover his tattoos by British Airways on a weekend flight to Lisbon. [Twitter]

● Beyonce’s new tour isn’t selling like expected; tickets are still available in all cities. Embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as if they had gone with stadium performances like Papa Knowles originally wanted. [Examiner] ● Lauren Conrad’s new “California chic” line for Kohl’s isn’t really “discount” shopping, but rather “smart” shopping in this economic downturn. [Radar] ● Brad and Angelina’s former bodyguard is said to be pitching a book and TV show about his years with the power couple, as well as with Sandra Bullock, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Sly Stallone, and Richard Gere. [NYDN]