New Trailer for ‘Jobs,’ Now With 100% More Motivational Voiceovers

After the hype which came with the first promotional photos and a mixed showing at Sundance, the Steve Jobs biopic formerly known as jOBS is coming ever closer to wide release. And with that comes the first trailer, and the first extended look at Ashton Kutcher stepping into the role of the Apple founder from his formative years to the founding of his company, his removal and his return again. In it, we see Jobs as the journeyman hippie, as the young tech icon on the brink (complete with lots of shouting and banging fists on the tale) and the forming of his partnership with Steve Wozniak, played by Book of Mormon alumnus Josh Gad, which seems to be a solid casting move. 

At the close of the trailer, where Kutcher launches into Jobs’ iconic, motivational-office-poster "here’s to the crazy ones" speech, he starts to look more and adopt more of the mannerisms of Steve Jobs, making it feel less like you’re watching Ashton Kutcher live out the early years of Steve Jobs’s life and more like a biopic. Jobs hits theatres August 16th, but in the meantime, you can watch the trailer, and prepare for the movie that will probably launch a few quadrillion more incarnations of that "Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash" dead-horse meme. 

Other Jobs Michele Bachmann May Want To Try

By now, you have heard the sad, stunning news: Minnesotan presidential hopeful and professional laughingstock Michele Bachmann will not run for reelection to the U.S. House in 2014. It’s hard to imagine someone so obstructive and ignorant anywhere but in congress, isn’t it? Here are a few new careers she ought to think about, assuming she flunks the multiple-choice test all would-be Fox News pundits have to take. 

TV Episode Recapper: We can never get enough of these, right? Bachmann’s idiotic gloss on the topics of the day, from climate change to same-sex marriage, achieved a kind of artistry I would love to see applied to the Real Housewives of New Jersey

Verizon Customer Service Operator: People are always complaining about the impenetrable accents of the people supposed to help you over the phone. Bachmann’s gratingly clear voice should put that annoyance in perspective.

Lady Yelling Encouragement From Sideline Of Soccer Game Even Though None Of The Kids Playing Are Hers: Not really a job per se, but I can’t stop imagining this.

Tax Lawyer: Wasn’t she always going on about how she used to be one, even though taxes = bad and Real America shouldn’t have to pay them? It doesn’t sound remotely plausible, but a great choice if she feels like upping her cognitive dissonance factor some more. 

Seller Of Official Government Paraphernalia On eBay: Have a strong feeling she’s way ahead of me on this one.

Follow Miles on Twitter here

Nobody Wants to Buy a Computer: A New Clip from ‘jOBS’

The last time I willingly watched Ashton Kutcher act was when forced to sit through Two and a Half Men at the behest of my fourteen-year-old brother. But with the upcoming release of jOBS—Joshua Michael Stern’s film about Apple co-founder Steve Jobs and his ascension from college dropout to one of the most brilliant creative entrepreneurs of the 20th century—we’ll all see Kutcher in a much different role, as he takes on the titular role. The film premieres at Sundance on Friday and will make its way into theaters come April 19th, just in time for the 37th anniversary of the founding of Apple computers. 

A new clip from the film has been released in which Kutcher and Josh Gab as co-founder Steve Wozniak, as they discuss a new operating system. Kutcher declares, "This is freedom!" as Wozniak asks, "Who wants a computer?"

Check out the clip below.

Linkage: Jesse Tyler Ferguson Supports Illinois Same-Sex Marriage, Emmy Rossum Is Just Too Pretty

Bow-tie enthusiast and Modern Family star Jesse Tyler Ferguson stopped by Chicago yesterday to lend his support in the fight for same-sex marriage, the legislation for which may pass in the Illinois General Assembly before the session ends on June 9. Said Ferguson: "A lot of people who were not comfortable with marriage equality … turn on the television and see a show that has a lot of different families in it — and one of those families just happens to be gay. They’re realizing they have a great time watching the show, then they’re watching a gay couple that’s having a lot of the same problems and issues they have. They realize ‘Oh they’re not so different from me.’ And at that point, we’re in their living rooms." [Chicagoist]

South Korean screenwriter Young Il Kim has penned a film titled Rodham about, well, duh. [Politico]

Speaking of questionably titled biopics, jOBS, starring Ashton Kutcher, will close out the Sundance Film Festival and see an April theatrical release. [Deadline New York]

If you were rooting for Lil’ Wayne in your office Worst Tattoo of 2013 pool, it looks like you’re coming out ahead already. [Crushable]

Zooey Deschanel in Glamour: "I want to be a fucking feminist and wear a fucking Peter Pan collar. So fucking what?" Do you, girl! [Jezebel]

EGOT winner Mel Brooks gives some solid advice on how to make all of your creative dreams come true. [Fast Company]

Look, I get that times are tough but if you’re willing to let your boss fart on you then maybe you should just go on unemployment? [The Gloss]

If you expect Kathy Griffin to apologize for trying to perform oral sex on Anderson Cooper during the pair’s annual New Year’s Eve hosting gig, you can, well, suck her dick. [EW]

Emmy Rossum (or, as I like to call her, The Poor Man’s Jennifer Love Hewitt) claims she was almost not even considered for her role in Showtime’s Shameless because she was too pretty. It’s a little early in the year for this, yes? [The Frisky]

"[W]e eagerly await the BuzzFeed post, 10 Reasons We Raised $20M to Write More Things Like “Pretty Japanese Girls React to Drinking Poop Wine.” [Observer]

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter