Oh, Good Friday: Here Are the Ten Hottest Jesuses

If I’ve learned anything from Hollywood, it’s this: Jesus was a hottie. There’ve been hundreds of actors throughout the years who have donned the robes and the wigs and the fake beards to play our Lord and Savior, but only a select few could be singled out as being the hottest Jesuses in cinematic history. So on this Good Friday, sit back and click through this slideshow of heavenly eye-candy. There are a lot of thin white dudes with light-colored eyes to feast upon here, just as God would have wanted. Hosanna, y’all! 

Jeffrey Hunter, King of Kings (1961)

Max von Sydow, The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965)

Ted Neeley, Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)

Robert Powell, Jesus of Nazareth (1977)

Brian Deacon, Jesus (1979)

Chris Sarandon, The Day Christ Died (1980)

Willem Dafoe, The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)

Christian Bale, Mary, Mother of Jesus (1999)

Jeremy Sisto, Jesus (1999)

Jim Caviezel, The Passion of the Christ (2004)

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Jesus Smuggles Drugs

It’s sort of a pity this didn’t work out for her. A 22-year-old Mexican woman was nabbed by U.S. Border Patrol agents when they found a marijuana stash behind a framed portrait of Jesus she was trying to cross the border with.

Traveling in a sport-utility vehicle, the woman told agents that she had nothing to declare but some framed art. But a drug-sniffing dog named Cesar found himself strangely drawn to three framed portraits of Jesus Christ, and not for religious reasons. There were 31 pounds of marijuana hidden behind the backing of the pictures. Have mercy.