Heineken Hijacks the New York City Subway For a James Bond Party

Last night I was drinking beer on the subway, and there were cops and security around, but nobody messed with me. They just let me sip my suds in peace. Granted, the reason I wasn’t arrested was probably because I was at a party for Heineken‘s involvement in the James Bond movie franchise. The party was held at the New York Transit Museum in Brooklyn, the train car was decorated to look like a set for From Russia With Love, and the whole affair was a gas. D-Nice was spinning an amazing DJ set (ranging from Azealia Banks to AC/DC), actor and beer-maker Adrian Grenier was mugging with some leggy models (or were they mugging with him?), and big TV screens showed highlights from 50 years worth of Bond films. Not bad for a Monday night. 


Adrian with Leggy Models by Train

Heineken has been working with James Bond for 15 years, and the party was designed to give people a peek into that exciting, cloak-and-dagger world of espionage, treachery, and sexy people emerging from water. Bond’s latest movie, Skyfall, comes out in November, and Heineken made another one of their really cool video/commercials modeled on the film. It involves a man being chased through a train by a pair of ne’er-do-wells (watch it here), so the Dutch brewers thought it would be neat to host their party on a bunch of old, idle train cars done up to look like various classics of the Bond canon. 

Heineken Train Interior

Make no mistake, the Bond people are out to sell movie tickets and ancillary merchandise the same as the Heineken people are out to sell beer, but it’s a marketing program I can get behind. Most importantly, I like both of their products. Hiring Daniel Craig to be Bond was a good call, he’s got the acting chops and sinister look to carry a torch first ignited by Sir Sean Connery. And Heineken’s always a tasty brew that pairs with whatever hors d’oeuvres are being carried around (yes, my dinner last night consisted entirely of hors d’oeuvres). They had regular Heineken and Heineken Dark too, which I don’t see too often. 

It was a fun crowd sprinked with celebrities, most of whom I didn’t recognize, but people were getting their pictures taken with them, so they must have been notable. I chatted with a few pals, visited the bar a couple of times, watched Bond film clips, and had a generally fun time. I didn’t quite recreate the chase scene from the Skyfall video, but I got to drink beer on a train, which is dangerous enough for me on a school night. 

Javier Bardem Goes Blond in ‘Skyfall’

Based on the trailer for the new Sam Mendes-directed James Bond flick, things seem to be getting darker for the British secret agent played with increasingly brooding and dour Daniel Craig. He’s mistaken for dead, his world is continually turned upside-down, and he’s pit against a bottle-blond villain. Perhaps more importantly: there are a lot more explosions and not enough puns and bonin’. In this post-Christopher Nolan/Dark Knight Rises world in which our superheroes are so sad and our big-budget action franchises lack the fun of their predecessors, what else can we expect? Check out the trailer below. 

Your Daily Guide to Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

The Master
Sure, we knew our readers would be interested in The Master, the first Paul Thomas Anderson film in five years. So when the first peek hit the web yesterday, we were all over it. Now it’s the second most searched term on Google. Most of the stories that Google searchers are finding are about the trailer, the lack of Philip Seymour Hoffman, whether or not it’s based on the life of L. Ron Hubbard. Take one wrong Google turn, however, and you can easily learn about some non movie-related things, including celebrity trainer Jillian Michaels’ crusade against The Master Cleanse and a golf tournament.

SpaceX Launch
It’s not just NASA going into space anymore. This morning, a privately owned cargo rocket was launched on a mission to deliver about 1,000 pounds of goods to the International Space Station. That’s really only about week’s space groceries, but the idea is to see if in fact people other than government-employed geniuses can make space travel work. If all goes well, Space Exploration Technologies Corp., or SpaceX, will win a $1.6 billion dollar contract to run 12 missions into space. No word on whether any of them will carry Lance Bass.

Bond Girl Marlohe
Berenice Marlohe, the new Bond girl who’s apparently the toast of the Cannes Film Festival, is the most trendingest item on Yahoo! this morning, which probably means that a bunch of misspelled versions of her name combined count toward that honor. Because, honestly. Marlohe plays Severine in the film, titled Skyfall, and showed off her sinister side at a screening of the film, where she told reporters that her co-star, Daniel Craig is "like a clown."

Arsenio Hall
Yes, that Arsenio Hall. The former late-night talk show host is at the top of the trends list thanks to his big win on Sunday night’s episode of The Celebrity Apprentice. Hall beat out American Idol alum Clay Aiken, showing us all that the term celebrity is certainly subjective. Anyway, if Arsenio really wants to do things right, he will use his resuscitated fame to put together a Coming To America reunion.

Folks on Twitter are awfully hyped to talk about President Obama this morning. The hashtag #IStandWithObama is seriously trending, with users sharing their views on what the President is doing right. To be fair, other topics include #YouKnowTheSunIsShiningWhen and “Rise & Grind,” so we can’t put too much stock in the idea of great thought at 140 characters.

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Morning Links: Kanye Kicks Off G.O.O.D. Friday, Judy Dench Wraps ‘Bond’ Career

● DJ Funkmaster Flex got Good Friday started a little early, spinning "Mercy," the first single off the Kanye and company’s G.O.O.D. Music compilation, on his show last night. Swerve, swerve, swerve… [RapRadar]

● The makers of Theraflu would like to remind you that they "in no way" want to be a part of Kanye’s double-cupped up "Theraflu." [NME]

● Looks like Mary Kate and Ashley weren’t fans of Harvard MBA recipient Tyra Banks’ "fantasy novel" Modelland. [Gawker]

● Justin Timberlake dangerously designed Jessica Biel’s engagement ring without the help of Biel’s stylist and, while Biel won’t say she doesn’t like it, everyone seems to know it’s not her style. Boys! [Us]

● Looks like Skyfall will be Dame Judy Dench’s last 007 movie as Bond’s other girl, M. [TheSun]

● Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse Cinema chain — where can have food and beverage delivered straight to their movie seat — has a Manhattan outpost in the works. [ArtsBeat]

Is Berenice Marlohe the Newest Bond Girl? Let’s Rank Her Predecessors Anyway

Who had Berenice Marlohe in their “next Bond girl” pool? According to reports, the French television actress will be starring alongside Daniel Craig and Javier Bardem in the 23rd James Bond adventure (its rumored title is Skyfall). The Daily News says she was “handpicked” by director Sam Mendes, which we’re sure was an absolute chore. How does Berenice Marlohe stack up against previous Bond girls? Let’s take a look.

Marlohe hits all the right notes: She is exotic, beautiful, and relatively unknown. The least successful Bond girls lack at least one of those qualifiers (Denise Richards, notably, only fulfilled one-third of that criteria), but a great Bond girl is more than just a sum of those parts. It’s an endlessly complicated formula that, if published in a peer-reviewed paper, could end famine and bring warring nations together. Instead, we’re just going to rank Bond girls on their Bond girl-ness. Beauty, charisma, and quality of film are all taken into consideration. How funny her name is, however, is not. Grow up.

23. Dr. Christmas Jones, The World is not Enough: The aforementioned Denise Richards Bond Girl. On the receiving-end of one of 007’s bluest quips, “I thought Christmas came but once a year.”

22. Kara Milvoy, The Living Daylights: The Living Daylights had a Bond girl?

21. Pam Bouvier and Lupe Lamora, License to Kill: License to Kill had two Bond girls?

20. Domino, Never Say Never Again: This was not an Eon Productions release; therefore it technically isn’t a real Bond movie. Kim Basinger played Domino alongside Sean Connery in this, his last appearance as James Bond. He was approximately 3,000 years old.

19. Dr. Holly Goodhead, Moonraker: In the novel, Dr. Holly Goodhead actually turns down Bond at the end and tells him she is engaged. In the movie, they fly away in a spaceship together. Enough said.

18. Teresa “Tracy” Bond, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service: Bond’s only wife, thus marring her eternally. James Bond getting married is like Superman relying on public transportation.

17. Mary Goodnight, The Man With the Golden Gun: Goodnight repeatedly screws up and gets Bond in danger. Usually this is not just enjoyable, but essential to drive the plot forward. Somehow, Mary Goodnight screws this up too.

16. Camille Montes, Quantum of Solace: Decent Bond girl, decent-ish Bond movie.

15. “Jinx” Johnson, Die Another Day: Unfortunately, Halle Berry’s Jinx is ranked so low on this list only because of how god-awful Die Another Day is.

14. Tiffany Case, Diamonds are Forever: Had Denise Richards been born in 1940, she would have played Tiffany Case.

13. Solitaire, Live and Let Die: Docked, unfairly perhaps, because her character was pretty racist in the book version.

12. Kissy Suzuki, You Only Live Twice: Speaking of racism, Kissy Suzuki is the Japanese pearl diver Bond falls in love with in You Only Live Twice, a movie in which he is “made Asian” through an exhaustive process of applying bronzer and comically narrowing his eyes.

11. Octopussy, Ocuopussy: Remember, the amount of double entendre crammed into their name has no bearing on their ranking.

10. Vesper Lynd, Casino Royale: The straight-laced bearcat-turned-sexpot is a go-to in Bond movies, but Vesper Lynd does it well enough to help Daniel Craig’s Bond get his feet wet.

9. Natalya Simonova, GoldenEye: Exactly the same as Vesper Lynd, only slightly better.

8. Domino, Thunderball: Scuba sex.

7. Judy Havelock, For Your Eyes Only: She has a pet parrot that talks on the phone to Margaret Thatcher, and the prime minister believes she is speaking with Bond. That alone is worth a couple bumps up the list.

6. Wai Lin, Tomorrow Never Dies: Maybe the most capable Bond girl, Michelle Yeoh’s Wai Lin excels in action scenes that no other Bond Girl could match.

5. Tatiana Romanova, From Russia With Love: Intriguingly one-dimensional, a template for future Bond girls.

4. Anya Amasova, The Spy Who Loved Me: Agent XXX is a far more thrilling Russian foil for Bond than Tatiana Romanova.

3. May Day, A View to a Kill: Grace Jones’ May is technically just a henchwoman and not a true Bond girl, but she is so much more memorable than Stacey Sutton, the film’s conventional Bond girl, that she deserves a high ranking. Others that fit this category include Xenia Onatopp in GoldenEye and Elektra King in The World is Not Enough. May Day is included to represent all the underappreciated henchwomen in the Bond universe.

2. Pussy Galore, Goldfinger: The first name that pops up when you think, “Bond girl.”

1. Honey Rider, Dr. No: Emerging from the sea in a white bikini with a knife sheathed in the waistband, Honey Rider is the first image that pops up when you think, “Bond girl.”

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Morning Links: ‘Austin Powers’ Actor Suspected of Prison Murder, Kanye West’s Favorite Flannel

● Rob thinks Keeping Up With the Kardashians has given him an undeservedly bad rap. “I’m sick of all that and I’m trying to branch away from all that,” he says of the show that made him rich and famous. [People] ● Beyoncé is working on a maternity collection for her House of Dereon line so that all pregnant women can feel as “edgy and sexy” as she does, which is great, because rumor has it that inflatable baby bumps will be all the rage next season. [People] ● Austin Powers actor Joseph Hyungmin Son, who is currently serving a life sentence for rape and torture, is suspected of killing his prison cellmate. Evil Task, indeed. [LAT]

● Tilda Swinton one time tried to kill her baby brother, but when she entered his room and found him choking on his bonnet ties, she instead chose to save him and has since been considered his savior. [Us] ● Kanye West is extra-into that one red flannel he wore to Big Sean’s New York Show and then Occupy Wall Street and then again at a BET party. [MTO] ● What has long been rumored has now been confirmed: Javier Bardem will indeed play the villain in Sam Mendes’ Bond 23. [THR]

Morning Links: Lindsay Lohan Still Mostly Naked, Twee Auteur Wes Anderson Strikes Again

● “I didn’t have a childhood,” says Katy Perry in this month’s Vanity Fair. This might explain her candy fetish. [Vanity Fair] ● Someone taught Michelle Obama to dance the dougie and America’s all the better for it. [RapRadar] ● Lindsay Lohan was so eager to get to community service that she forgot to put on her bra! [Gawker]

● Sam Mendes’ James Bond will be indulged: A third of the films budget — $45 million — will come from product placement. [Australian] ● Wes Anderson is making his movie again! Bill Murray, Jason Scwartzman, Frances McDormand? Check. Retro New England town? Check. Two twelve year-olds in love? Check. Moonrise Kingdom sounds perfect. [HuffPost] ● A million seasons and one network change later, Lifetime has announced Project Runway All Stars. We insist that Aah-ndre be invited. [NYM]

Morning Links: Eminem to Star in Superbowl Ad, Christina Hendricks Causes Spike in Breast Implants

● Javier Bardem has been offered a starring role in Sam Mendes’ upcoming James Bond. 007 alum Daniel Craig will play Bond again, meaning Bardem will mostly likely play the villain, which means he’ll most likely be sporting a bowl cut. [Deadline] ● Eminem is being paid $1 million to appear as a claymation character in what has been described as a “very funny” Lipton iced tea commercial to air during the Super Bowl. [NYP] ● Charlie Sheen wants to make it clear that, even though he’s checked himself into rehab, he’s just fine. “People don’t seem to get it….Guy can’t have a great time and do his job also?” he texted Radar. Also, as far as he’s concerned, you’re just a “Bunch of turds.” Next time, Sheen, could we get some pictures with those texts? [Radar]

● Is Lauren Conrad secretly engaged? Rumor has it that MTV-nurtured (and seemingly dependent) LC plans to keep quiet until her new show — the one that’s supposed to be more about fashion than her love life — airs. [NYP] ● Jennifer Aniston has taken up the loneliest hobby known to man, having already knitted “a couple of hats and a couple of scarves and I’m starting on my first poncho.” [DigitalSpy] ● The demand for breast implants in Britain grew by more than 10 percent last year, and the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons is blaming busty Mad Men star Christina Hendricks. [NYP]

Happy 80th Birthday to You, Sean Connery

As of today, screen icon Sean Connery is officially an octogenarian, in light of which I thought it might be appropriate to take look back at the career of the world’s most famous Scotsman. Sure, he originated the role of James Bond, but have you seen him storm the beaches of Nomandy in The Longest Day, or belt out a merry tune in Darby O’Gill and the Little People? Top 8 films (one per decade!) after the jump.

Darby O’Gill and the Little People (1959) – After a wily engagement with the eponymous Leprechauns, Connery (in his first leading role for the big screen) winds up this Disney charmer with a rousing chorus of “Pretty Irish Girl.” The Scotsman in him was surely in revolt.

The Longest Day (1962) – Part of a massive cast that also includes John Wayne, Eddie Albert, and Red Buttons, Connery provides a smidgen of comic relief in this otherwise grim and detailed account of the Normandy Invasion. It’s also Connery’s last role before going Bond.

Thunderball (1965) – This list wouldn’t be complete without at least one Bond selection, and Thunderball has always been my personal favorite. Jetpacks, shark fights, and a work-out machine that quite literally tries to hump Bond to death are all par for the course.

The Untouchables (1987) – Probably his most beloved work outside the Bond pictures, Connery received the Supporting Actor Oscar for his role here as Irish-American beat cop Jim Malone. I tend to think of this character as the one that’s closest to being who Connery truly is, to whit, the macho, no-nonsense type who’s admitted in interviews to slapping a few women around. What other actor could do the same and not be strung up by his heels in the town square?

Time Bandits (1981) So the story goes, Michael Palin described the character of Agamemnon very specifically in the script, stating that it should be “Sean Connery — or someone of equal but cheaper stature.” Connery liked the joke and took the role.

Zardoz (1974) – Written and directed by John Boorman, this post-apocalyptic fantasy was Connery’s second post-Bond role and has him sporting a red diaper throughout. The film also features one of my favorite screen lines: “The gun is good. The penis is evil!” Charlotte Rampling co-stars.

The Man Who Would Be King (1975) – Directed by John Huston and adapted from the Rudyard Kipling short story, the film follows two NCOs (Connery and Michael Caine) in 19th century India who end up kings in Kafiristan. It’s not quite the polemic against British Imperialism that you might expect.

The Hunt For Red October (1990) – Here Connery came into his own as the veteran actor who’s charisma and authority are so overwhelmingly established that he needn’t do much else to command the screen besides stand around looking, well, Connery-esque. It’s pity Alec Baldwin didn’t stick with the Jack Ryan role.