’90s Nostalgia, Meet SLIMED! The New Nickelodeon Golden Age Book

Ever wonder how Ren & Stimpy got on the air? Why Sam always climbed through Clarissa’s window? Who came up with the song "Killer Tofu" on Doug? Me too. And in the spirit of "ask, and you shall receive" is a new book full of all the golden answers to all your ’90s-nostalgia questions: SLIMED! An Oral History of Nickelodeon’s Golden Age

Written by the same guy who wrote Rag Doll: A Horrotica Novel, and with a foreword by Double Dare host Marc Summers, the book peels back the orange Nickelodeon logo and reveals the slime-filled underbelly of the network’s early ’80s and ’90s history, off-air gossip, slime ingredients, and over 200 stories from such VIPs as Kenan Thompson and Melissa Joan Hart – who basically raised us. It also details how Nickelodeon changed the face of cable TV, but we don’t really care about that.

While every page of this book will probably be covered vigorously on Buzzfeed – the arbiter of all things ’90s nostalgia in very large graphics – it’ll have to wait until October 2013, when it physically makes it way onto the entrance tables of Barnes & Nobles, where it will be scooped up by Rugrats-loving 27-year-olds, and quizzically glared at by 12-year-olds who subsist on iCarly

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Morning Links: Snooki Is Single Again, Beyoncé Hopes You’re Enjoying Her Album

● The romance has run out of Snooki’s actually very sweet sounding relationship. “I think he was just really sad about being away from her so much,” reports a friend of Snooki’s shy ex. Juiceheads, rejoice: the queen guidette is on the prowl once more. [PopEater] ● In a further effort to win the attention of America’s screen-bound youth, FOTUS Michelle Obama will appear on Nickelodeon’s iCarly. [AP] ● Spider-Man the musical is finally a “frozen” production, meaning no new changes between now and opening day. No new scripts, no new choreography, and definitely no new sets — even if it’s the Empire State Building that’s asking. [NYT/ArtsBeat]

● Beyoncé’s new album leaked a little early, and so long as you are enjoying it, she doesn’t really care. “When I record music I always think about my fans singing every note and dancing to every beat,” she wrote on Facebook. “I make music to make people happy and I appreciate that everyone has been so anxious to hear my new songs.” [Beyoncé/Facebook] ● The perhaps scandalizing decapitated-model/art piece from Kanye’s “Monster” video has spoken, and mostly she thinks it’s totally cool that Kanye touched her hair. To which, well, who wouldn’t? [Jezebel] ● Is he still Fat Joe if he’s not even fat? [MTO] ●This video of Moby collapsing from electric shock during a performance in an Amsterdam gallery (“This isn’t a joke, by the way,” someone assures, as onlookers reach for their iPhones) is, at the least, disconcerting. [Vulture]