Morning Links: Stephen Colbert Maybe To Run For President Again, Paula Deen Has Diabetes

● Stephen Colbert announced last night that he is forming an exploratory committee to "lay the groundwork for my possible candidacy for the President of the United States of South Carolina," where he can at least count on not coming in last. [HuffPost]

● The Butter Queen Paula Deen has, as it turns out, diabetes. This is probably all part of Michelle Obama’s plan. [The Daily]

● Ke$ha, Erykah Badu, and Bon Iver will all contribute to the Flaming Lips’ next sure-to-be-weird, sure-to-be-good collaborative album. [RS]

● At last! The first trailer for Wes Anderson’s latest, Moonrise Kingdom, wherein all his usuals, but also Bruce Willis and Frances McDormand, go to summer camp. [THR]

● Word is that when he was last in L.A., Drake and his "huge security dude" confronted the tattoo artist that inked "DRAKE" on that woman’s head. [The Fader]

● Little sister Elizabeth Olsen, In Treatment‘s Dane DeHaan, and Boardwalk Empire‘s Jack Huston, will all join Daniel Radcliffe in his upcoming movie, Kill Your Darlings. [Varitety]

● The time has come for Hulk Hogan to lose that famous handlebar mustache, and his fans are devestated. [TMZ]

Brutal New Details Reveal Hulk Hogan Lost Almost Everything In Divorce

While the divorce occured in 2009, only yesterday was it revealed just how brutal the proceedings were. Read ’em and weep…

According to the St. Petersburg Times, ex-wife Linda took $7.4m – which is roughly 70% of the pro-wrestler-turned-television-star’s personal fortune and liquid assets. Hulk, who’s real name is Terry Bollea (I know!!! I was surprised he had a real name too!!!!), also granted Linda 40% of the ownership of his various companies and an additional $3mil in a ‘property settlement’ fee, whatever that is. That’s a staggering amount of money, whichever way you look at it. The guy was a legend in his time; can’t you not take 70% of everything he’s earned?

It’s not fair to kick a man when he’s down, but let’s not forget Hulk effectively did just that for a living in the 80’s. 

Industry Insiders: Gabriel Jacobs, Bling Dynasty

From his meager beginnings as a newly-arrived immigrant, to becoming New York’s King of Bling, Gabriel Jacobs has taken a family business and turned it into one of the most coveted names in eye-catching jewelry.

A third generation jeweler, Jacobs and his family fled Russia for New York in the late ’80s and started their lives anew, opening a small shop on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn. Business took off from there, with the family opening up a wholesale operation servicing eight stores, then twenty, until they became a serious force in the industry.

In 2009, Jacobs and his cousins opened Rafaello & Co., which makes custom pieces for discerning clients. They have since built a name for themselves on both coasts, working with everyone from Alicia Keys to Hulk Hogan.

“I definitely can try to make a statement,” he says. “Anybody can make a piece for a client, but we’re always unique.”

Hulk Hogan Is the New Biggie & the Old Lady Gaga

I was never a big WWF fan as a kid. I did, however, respect Hulk Hogan, what with his fantastic mustache and, between the years 1989 and 1993, his brief but commanding reign as the go-to leading man in such C-list classics as No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando, and Mr. Nanny. Then the Hulkster got into reality shows, hard, and I found myself bored with his old-hat antics. Still, I was pleased today to read this piece about how Lady Gaga is totally ripping off Hulk’s act because 1) it’s a pretty funny piece 2) the author makes some interesting points and 3) because I got so ripped to shreds in the comments section for the post I did yesterday that I was thrilled to see another writer who will draw equal ire from Gaga’s Little Monsters. So I say to you, Gaga fans, here’s another guy to pick on, go forth and comment!

I was still smiling about the Gaga/Hogan piece when I came upon another fun bit of Hulkery, this hilarious new promo video for Def Jam’s Rap Star video game, a sort of hip-hop version of guitar hero in which contestants rap along to their favorite beats. Hulk and his daughter attempt to cover Biggie Smalls and fail miserably. As one might expect, The Hulk can’t rap and Brook can’t sing. But that probably won’t stop her from making an autouned pop record sometime in the near future, and it hopefully will inspire someone like Judd Apatow to pull Hulk back from reality-show-purgatory by casting him alongside Will Ferrell as the lead in a half-baked, fully outrageous comedy.

Hogan Knows Threats

Frank Caruso, half-brother to Nick Hogan crash victim John Graziano, needs to re-watch Wrestlemanias I through VIII. You don’t just call up Hulk Hogan, father of the Atomic Leg Drop, and threaten to “piss” on his family “grave.” You don’t call the six-time WWF World Champion, six-time WCW World Heavyweight Champion, two-time Royal Rumble winner, and former leader of the New World Order, a “whore.” You just don’t. But that’s Caruso’s voice on these disturbing phone messages, so we’ve just got to ask—watcha gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania runs wild on you? Probably counter-sue.