Five Terrible Remakes In The Works

From gritty reboot to plain old plagiarism, here are the worst remakes currently in the pipeline.

Three Men and a Baby:

"Adam Sandler is planning to remake 1980s hit comedy flick ‘Three Men and Baby’. He would team up with Disney, who made the original for the project … Adam wants to remake the same movie again with Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider in the lead roles. The original ‘Three Men and Baby’ was also a remake of a French movie."

Highlander

"For fans of [Ryan] Reynolds’ other work, we wonder what this means for any potential of him suiting up soon for that other buzzed about project with a hard-to-kill sword-swinging protagonist: Deadpool. And more importantly, are we going to see Reynolds sport long locks like his predecessor? Is he going to rock a fake Scottish accent in flashbacks as part of the Clan MacLeod?"

RoboCop:

Unlike the original RoboCop, whose chrome-and-black armor suggested something that was part-man, part-carburetor, the new suit is a more anatomically-inspired and streamlined design, more exo-skeleton than cyborg. It recalls certain examples of superhero outerwear—more specifically, those worn by Batman in Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy.

Evil Dead:

Sam Raimi himself is producing the remake, as well as helping out Oscar-winning screenwriter Diablo Cody (Young AdultJunowith scripting duties.

Dirty Dancing:

Lionsgate is postponing the Dirty Dancing reboot. The studio has put the remake on ice for another year for casting reasons, Deadline has learned. The remake of the 1987 Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey film was scheduled to be released in July 2013, but now the movie is off the studio’s release dance card at least until 2014.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Don’t Share Your Netflix Password With Friends

I’m basically what you’d call a philanthropist. I believe in my fellow man. And that’s why, when my poor friend who is poor bemoaned the expensive monthly fee for a Netflix account, allowing her to instantly stream all of the movies and TV shows she wants (within reason, of course—still waiting for 227 to become available), I said, “Oh, my dear girl! Please, take my password! And don’t make fun of me for using the title of a Joni Mitchell song as my Netflix password!” You know what? IT WAS A MISTAKE.

Last night I got home from a long day at work and wanted nothing more than to lay in my bed with a glass of wine and my laptop and catch up on all of the Ingmar Bergman films episodes of Ally McBeal in my queue. (What? Don’t act like you’re too good for that dancing baby or Vonda Shepard.) And lo and behold: my Instant Queue was suddenly empty. What’s worse? Netflix was now telling me that I would love Farscape, Dollhouse, and Highlander because my friend has been busy as hell watching all of Firefly. (That’s Highlander the television show, you guys. How embarrassing.)

I’m assuming that the deleted queue was some sort of glitch (probably the Netflix admins catching on to how many different computers are accessing my account), but that’s small potatoes next to the fact that the site thinks I have terrible taste. Oh, how I long for a Cerebral British Drama or a Dramatic Comedy Featuring a Strong Female Lead! 

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.