Links: Kissing Nurse Dead at 91, Sexy Anne Frank Sparks Controversial Resurgence

● Edith Shain, the legendary nurse kissing a sailor in the classic LIFE photograph from 1945’s “Victory Over Japan,” or V-J Day, celebration, died Sunday at the age of 91. [MSNBC] ● Daniel Radcliffe, better known as Harry Potter, will star in a new version of the classic war film All Quiet on the Western Front, in which lasers and 3-D will have him feeling right at home. [Vulture] ● Gary Coleman sought to get a restraining order against his ex-wife, the very one who later took him off of life support, obviously after watching way too many Lifetime movies. [People]

● A sexed-up version of the Anne Frank story is causing a stir, though Miley Cyrus smells an acting breakthrough. [Guardian] ● If Real Housewives of New Jersey spitfire Danielle Staub really has a lesbian lover, suburbia in the Garden State will never be the same. [HuffPo] ● The man in the original Facebook logo is Al Pacino, that actor your father likes. [TBM]

I Will Not Link to the Gary Coleman Deathbed Photo

Now you know there’s a Gary Coleman deathbed photo. Whatever, you were going to find out anyway. It’s on the cover of Globe Magazine. His ex-wife probably sold it to help pay her legal fees. CBS News has it up on their website, if you really need to go see a photo of a dead child star who died far too young.

I don’t normally actually object to celebrity gossip. People like what they like. We should all be so lucky as to find something in this world that gives us pleasure, and if reading about Heidi Montag’s farts gives you a jolt of happiness…

But this is beyond the pale. Many have made the argument that celebrity gossip degrades us as people, that the obsession with fame for fame’s sake dangerously taps into people’s need for acknowledgment, that, really, the entire dynamic exploits the worst, most frivolous aspects of human nature. Whenever I used to hear this argument, I’d sort of internally scoff and mentally muse, “I hope you’re enjoying college!” But enough is enough.

Coleman hadn’t regularly appeared on television or in the movies in years. He had a normal job. Now a photograph of him dying is on the front page of a magazine sold all across the country. This is not an okay thing and it’s happened because A) Globe Magazine is apparently completely unscrupulous and B) people care about the private life of someone who was on TV decades ago.

Links: Michael Jackson Museum Coming Soon, Christina Hendricks Takes It All Off

● A Michael Jackson museum and performance center is coming to his hometown of Gary, Indiana. Kids get in free! [CNN] ● Anna Wintour hates her loud neighbors, and though her first course of action was an understandable warning, Plan B includes Molotov cocktails filled with Chanel No. 5. [Page Six] ● Bad celebrity bras are like bad pizza: still sorta good (unless you’re Liza Minelli). [Wonderwall]

Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks stars in a new video for the band Broken Bells, in which she removes her body parts in the sexiest way possible. [Vulture] ● The death of Gary Coleman may have involved some shady activity on the part of his ex-wife, who might not have had the authority to pull the plug on the late actor. [TMZ] ● The man behind the hilarious @BPGlobalPR Twitter account speaks out. [Street Giant]

Links: Lindsay Lohan as a Porn Star; Justin Bieber vs. Door, Part II

● The first images of Lindsay Lohan in her role as seminal porn star Linda Lovelace have surfaced; she looks pretty much like Lindsay Lohan. [Celebuzz] ● Alicia Keys and her producer boyfriend Swizz Beats are engaged and expecting a baby that will have no choice but to become a musician. [People] ● On this holiday Friday, spend a little time with the 11 greatest Bill Nye the Science Guy music videos. You deserve it. [Buzzfeed]

● God keeps doing this thing where he puts a door right where Justin Bieber is about to walk. [Vulture] ● Tiger Woods has been warned not to date anyone until his divorce goes through, though sneaking hookers is probably worse. [US] ● Gary Coleman is in critical condition at a Utah hospital. Hopefully he can’t hear his medical staff making “Willis!” jokes. [WaPo]

Links: Gary Coleman Arrested for Domestic Assault; Woman Falls into Picasso Painting

● Gary Coleman was arrested for domestic assault, making this a perfect time to do a little gossip math: (Diff’rent Strokes pun) + (“What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” variation) = joke. Ta-da! [TMZ] ● Ashton Kutcher announced via Twitter that he will host Saturday Night Live on Feburary 6th. If only his monologue could be limited to 140 characters. [The Wrap] ● Tila Tequila and Kelly Osbourne have beef on Twitter, though Tila’s recap of the whole thing is unreadable thanks to white text and all caps. Luckily, the diss “Smelly Ozbonkers” is in the first line. [Tila’s Hot Spot]

● A student fell into Picasso’s “The Actor” at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, ripping a 6-inch hole through the painting and writing her obituary in the process, because really, how could you top that story? [Gawker/NYT] ● Time thinks John Edwards can be rehabilitated, but there’s no mention of neutering so it might not work. [Time] ● Prince William is getting to be really, really bald, but it couldn’t matter less because it’s royal pattern baldness. [ONTD]

Links: Marilyn Manson to Marry, Miley Cyrus Promises Not to Get Preggers

● Marilyn Manson proposed to 22-year-old actress Evan Rachel Wood on stage in Paris. She accepted and their divorce is scheduled for early summer. [Daily Mirror] ● A cocaine vaccination led test participants to take 10 times as much of the drug in hopes of overcoming the treatment, bankrupting many along the way. Drug cartels remain hopeful about the vaccine’s future. [Popular Science] ● Diff’rent Strokes actor Gary Coleman was rushed to the hospital with seizure-like symptoms, though they are being reported as not life-threatening. Maybe it was, um, a small seizure? [TMZ]

● Miley Cyrus appears on the February cover of Harper’s Bazaar, where she accepts that her “job is to be a role model,” but it “isn’t to be a parent.” That’s what Billy Ray is for. [E! Online] ● The 2010 U.S. Census form includes the term “Negro,” because “many older African-Americans identified themselves that way, and many still do,” not because the Census is racially insensitive. No, really. [Wonkette] ● Suddenly every gossip website cares about Matt Kemp, the 25-year-old LA Dodgers centerfielder, because he was photographed grabbing Rihanna’s ass in Mexico on a boat. You’ve arrived, sir. [Just Jared