The Most Inoffensive Fro-Yo Opens In Union Square Today

The famously offensive-to-no-one frozen yogurt company Off the Wall opens its third location in Union Square today, marking the true commencement of spring and nightly fro-yo consumption. Low-calorie, self-serve, and Kosher-certified, Off the Wall’s new spot offers 16 flavors on tap, including their hit signatures, such as blueberry muffin, sea salt caramel, and peanut butter blast. Though the prices may be off-the-wall (most commonly due to the inevitable piling of brownie bites from the topping station), the taste is too in the best way, so deal. 

And while this is all well and good, the big news is actually the FREE frozen yogurt giveaway happening on Wednesday, April 3rd, from 6:30pm 8:30pm, during the shop’s grand opening. This giveaway is equal opportunity, meaning every person who stops by Off the Wall will – regardless of sex, race, gender, haircut – receive FREE fro-yo. 

This is U.S. liberty at its finest. Come one, come all. 

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Who Are You Weirdos Going Out for Frozen Yogurt on First Dates?

Dating site How About We breaks down some of the statistics when it comes to dating, particularly the inaugural date: it seems as if millions of single people are meeting up to talk about themselves, learn about each other, and potentially make out—all centered around eating frozen yogurt! This is baffling to me, as I have probably eaten frozen yogurt perhaps three times in my life. (Um, scratch that; I just found one of those punch-cards from a frozen yogurt place in Brooklyn, and I can tell you for certain that I’ve had frozen yogurt four times in my life.) Anyway, frozen yogurt is a hot first-date date. 

According to How About We’s stats:

  • It’s suggested three times more often than the the second most popular dessert, pie.
  • Dates involving fro-yo account for 4% of all dates posted in the “Eat” category on HowAboutWe.
  • About 1 in every 5 foodie dates in Pittsburgh, Seattle & Denver involve the snack.
  • In NYC, it beats out every other food category, accounting for 12% of all food-based dates.

Is this why I was unlucky in love for so long? When I was online dating, the "first date" always turned out to be "the first couple of email exchanges," which was one step in making sure that the person whose self-curated web profile I found so attractive was actually not a total psychopath. The second date, then, was too many drinks and potential (probable) embarrassment. But hey, I am pretty much convinced I was doing it all wrong. This only proves it.

[via The Observer]

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It’s Greek (Yogurt) To Me: GRK Opens Tomorrow in Financial District

We have frozen yogurt, we have Pinkberry, we have Tasti D-lite—but, aside from Ronnybrook Farm’s Milk Bar, what New York lacks is a place to get really good yogurt. Thankfully, George Nikas has brought his own version of Greek yogurt to the table at GRK, his restaurant that opens tomorrow in the Financial District.

"My goal with GRK is to introduce the best of Greece’s products, cultural and culinary standards with the community,” said Nikas. “The Financial District was the perfect location to start GRK, as it’s constantly evolving and has a fresh atmosphere that I was drawn to." 

The yogurt GRK offers comes frozen or fresh, and you can get the latter version savory-style with figs, olives, tomato, peppers, basil, cucumber, and pita chips. If you want to go for the sweet side, you can top your selection with flax seeds, almonds, rose petal preserves, honey, and fresh berries. Aside from fresh Greek yogurt, GRK also features the yeero, a wrap stuffed with spit-roasted meat, and in this case includes chicken, pork, or lamb and beef. Pair this Greek sandwich with hand-cut fries or their Aegean slaw, which has red and green cabbage, carrots, onions, and herbs tossed with a lemon dressing.

Nothing costs much more than ten dollars, and even that price is for the lamb and beef platter. Mostly they plan to offer take out, but if you are looking for a cheap, sit-down dinner or lunch, GRK seats about 75 people in their cozy dining room, which is equipped with furniture from Rhodes, Greece. Though we are used to Astoria being the Greek capital of New York, perhaps GRK is bringing cheap Greek where it has never gone before.

Top NY Dessert Spots to Bitch About a Break-Up

Breaking up sucks. You lose a friend, a conveniently-located place to crash, someone to eat the other half of your fries so you don’t, and semi-regular sex. But the one thing you gain? The right to eat and bitch as much as you very well please hell fucking YES.

Here are our top dessert spots to bitch about a break-up, all across New York. Grab your best friends and the best cookies, cupcakes, pastries, and ice cream in town, and let it allll out. 

Be Creative, Win $500, Eat 16 Handles Frozen Yogurt

Yes, it’s the sweetest deal to speak of. 16 Handles, New York’s first self-serve frozen yogurt franchise, has introduced a new machine at their East Village and new Greenwich Village shops that blends your perfect cup of yogurt. Still in trials, this machine mixes your favorite flavors and toppings into a 16 oz. cup and serves it to you all swirled and blended – just like a McFlurry – except it’s a blend of all the things you chose and love. And the machine is called:

(Gasp!) There is no name! He has no name!
That’s where you come in.

From now until this Thursday, February 2nd, come up with this new machine’s moniker, post it to 16 Handles’ Facebook page, and you can win a $500 Visa gift card and the lifetime achievement of naming a blender. Voting begins February 3rd and will end February 7th. Act fast! Two runner-ups will each receive a $10 Gift Card to the store, which equates to two quarts of blackcherry tart. Or a heaping portion of thin mint cookies, cake batter, mochi, and gummy bears. Or some snickerdoodle topped with pistachio topped with Oreo crumbles, kiwi, and coconut. Ah, mix whatever you want! And name this whatever you want. In perfect 16 Handles fashion, it’s your choice and whatever choice it is, it will be delicious. Power is fun, isn’t it?