The Five Most Insane Sentences in Buzz Bissinger’s Gucci Confession

My dad used to be friends with Buzz Bissinger, the sportswriter. But these days, when you bring up that name, my dad’s eyes glaze over and he kinda shakes his head like: “What the hell happened?” If this appalling GQ “article” is any indication, the answer is Gucci. Bissinger is hooked on the shit. Don’t bother reading the whole thing, it’s barely coherent. I’ll distill it for you: 

1. On his philosophy: “Gucci men’s clothing best represents who I want to be and have become.”

2. On seeing the Milan collection: “It’s like Indiana Jones finally finding the Holy Grail, even though it was only three days ago that I bought the pony-hair jacket.”

3. On the amount spent over a four-day shopping binge: “That is equivalent to roughly a full year’s tuition at my son’s college, Kenyon.”

4. On an item he forgot he had ordered online while drunk: “But I still kept it, and it still is seriously smoking, and none of you can fucking have it.

5. On himself: “I look good.”

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Xavier Dolan Writing His First American Film ‘The Death & Life of John F. Donovan’ & More from MoMA

Last night, the charming and unfathomably talented Xavier Dolan took to the stage at MoMA in conjunction with their Modern Mondays and Canadian Front 2013—which not only premiered his debut feature I Killed My Mother in the US, but screened his sophomore effort Heartbeats, as well as his incredible upcoming epic love story Laurence Anyways. The 23-year-old actor/director/writer sat down last night for a conversation with MoMA’s Raj Ray and Indiewire’s Peter Knegt for two hours, covering everything from his voiceover work as Taylor Lautner’s character in the French-dubbed Twilight films, the importance of childhood on his cinematic mind, and his next feature, his first American film.

And for someone so insanely gifted and young who makes these films that are not only aesthetically and atmospherically engaging and dynamic, but extremely intelligent with great emotional weight and complexity, you might assume when asked to give his influences he would throw around some movies from Truffaut to Malle to van Sant. But no, the clips he chose to show from some of his favorite works that echoed the absurd and playful yet genuine and honest sensibility that’s alive in all of his films. The videos he showed were from films that he fell in love with either in childhood or recent years, projects that fulfilled their mission to excite, engage, and entertain and have stuck with him. Jumanji, Batman Returns, and Titanic were three of those, with Magnolia and the beloved television series Friday Night Lights there too, of course. 

Dolan spoke about appreciating the Michelle Pfieffer’s performance in Batman as completely free and totally going for her character. He also went on to say he admired Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia for its sense of freedom as well, fully commiting to its absurd and wild nature—especially the scene of Julianne Moore in the drug store telling off Pat Healy because of how emotionally unfettered it is and how PTA allowed a character to be so raw and honest—a scene which Dolan says he stole in I Killed my Mother and Laurence Anyways (in a monologue which Suzanne Clement defends herself and Laurence, screaming at a older diner waitress, a moment so wonderful and powerful that when she finished speaking the entire audience erupted in applause when it screened this past Sunday). 

Friday Night Lights Dolan says he watched with Clement recently over a holiday break "all at once, while eating a lot." He admired how authentic and real the emotion and acting was, as if it wasn’t something to impress but to show you exactly what life is life. 

He also spoke about his follow-up to Laurence Anyways, Tom à la ferme, a "psychological thriller that is worrying and scary–I hope." Although we had assumed it would be, it turns out the film will not premiere at Cannes this year and is currently in the sound-mixing, color-timing stages. However, his follow-up to that, his fifith film and first American feature, he says is to be titled The Death and Life of John F. Donovan and tells the story of a "Dean or Brando"-esque moviestar whom "America has been waiting for," who becomes penpals with an 11-year-old boy. Dolan went on to say that the film follows what happens when the correspondence with the boy is exposed. He will be acting in he film as well but not as the titular character.

But for now, Laurence Anyways will be crawling into theaters this June and if you’ve loved his work in the past this is sure to knock you over. And if you’re unfamiliar with the young auteur’s ouevre, get ready to fall in love.

Bored in Austin? Take a ‘Friday Night Lights’ Location Tour

Before you read any further, hop on your Spotify, iTunes, or whatever and start blasting some Explosions in the Sky—All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone or The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place will do just fine. Okay, now that you’re set it’s time for emotions. Yes, Friday Night Lights, only the greatest television show about emotions and small-town high school football will forever hold a place in a hearts, and with all this talk about some festival going down in Austin this week, what better time to revisit the Dillion, Texas? Well, the fictional town that is actually Austin, Texas.

The good folks over at Vulture have posted an interactive map for us that showcases all the shooting locations for FNL, so that while you’re down there you can take a break from all that concert hopping and wistfully gaze out a window while driving by the home of Coach Taylor, Tim Riggins, Matt Saracen/Grams house, and all your other favorite spots (milkshakes at the Alamo Freeze, anyone?!).

Take a look at their map HERE and some of the character’s address below. And remember, Texas forever.

Tim Riggins’s Land
7252 Burleson Manor Rd., Manor, Texas (this is probably farther down Burleson Manor Road from 969)

Vince’s House
2681 East Cesar Chavez St., Austin, Texas

Taylor House
6805 De Paul Cove, Austin, Texas 78723

Saracen House
3009 Kuhlman Ave., Austin, Texas 78702

See more

How Are We Surviving Hurricane Sandy?

My family is crazy and can’t say no to a good deal, so every summer I went on vacation in the Outer Banks the week before Labor Day—otherwise known as knee-deep in hurricane season. You see, that’s the week where rentals are much cheaper than the rest of the summer. Naturally, we evacuated from the resort town twice, and there were a couple of years where we spent our days bored out of our wits as tropical storm-strength winds blew around outside. (We saw a lot of movies and went bowling.) Even last year my vacation was cut short, and I spent four days in my mother’s house in Virginia playing Uno in the dark as Hurricane Irene raged on outside. (I won four games in a row, though.) This is my first hurricane in Brooklyn, though, and it turns out they aren’t so different up here. What am I going to be doing for the next two days? Here’s a quick run-down of my plans.

1. Trying not to eat all of my food. I’m afraid to report that the Wheat Thins I expected to last me throughout this entire mess were gone in less time than I spent in line buying them. 

2. Getting drunk. It turns out my local grocery store started carrying 312, which happens to be my favorite beer from when I lived in Chicago. I bought a lot of it. 

3. Reading Anna Karenina. I’m very literary and smart. Nobody spoil this one for me; I have about 600 pages to go.

4. Watching Netflix. Look, I’m ready for all of you to get off my ass about having not seen Friday Night Lights or Breaking Bad, but I have a feeling I’ll just re-watch Reno 911

5. Ignoring my mother’s hurricane preparation reminders. I was mature and did not respond to her text with, "Jesus, mother, I am 29 years old, I know how to do this," and instead wrote, "Please stop worrying and enjoy your vacation, I love you," because of course she is freaking out about this hurricane while she is on a cruise in Hawaii.

6. Lamenting the fact that I did not buy that roll of chocolate chip cookie dough. You know what would be delicious right now? Eating that shit with a spoon. Alas, I am 29 years old.

7. Ignoring everyone on Twitter. Seriously, how many Frankenstorm jokes can you people make?

8. Watching my boyfriend sleep all day. Because apparently he’s too tired from working an all-nighter to "entertain" me. 

9. Working on my novel. Hahahahahaha, just kidding.

10. Taking pictures of the cat. Sorry, Instagram followers, but my roommate’s cat is FREAKING OUT and I am, therefore, taking full advantage of this.

Follow Tyler Coates on Twitter.

Today in Celeb Sex Tapes: Minka Kelly

Minka Kelly, who is someone I have never heard of (I still haven’t watched Friday Night Lights, SORRY. While we’re on the subject, don’t ruin Battlestar Gallactica for me since I plan on catching up on that in, oh, ten years or so. Seriously, I’m still on Season Five of Cheers), apparently has a sex tape. This is big news for fans of nude celebrities and underage girls as, supposedly, the video was filmed just shy of Kelly’s 18th birthday.

TMZ, those sex-tape experts, claim that the video is 30 minutes long and "is shot in a semi-professional manner. The camera is secured by a tripod and hooked up to a TV monitor, so both Minka and the BF can watch the action they create. Minka is very aware of the camera." Kelly’s ex-boyfriend is the one who’s currently shopping around the video, which also features the actress dancing and singing along to two songs from Brandy’s 1998 album Never Say Never, which, if you do the math (I did not), was released just sixteen days before Kelly’s 18th’s birthday.

First of all: don’t make a sex tape. See? Problem solved! Now, if you’re a Brandy super-fan like Kelly was supposedly, maaaaybe you might think it a good idea to get all crazy down in New Mexico with your potentially shitty boyfriend and make what sounds like the most boring underage porn ever. Although, honestly, how fishy does all of this sound? Do you think this is some viral marketing campaign for Minka Kelly who, as far as I’m concerned, just looks like a poor man’s Leighton Meester? Or perhaps it was just a slow-burn attempt to get us all talking about Brany again, in which case: mission accomplished. 

Morning Links: Kris Humphries Files for Annulment, Fiona Apple’s Industry Woes

● With cries of "Fraud!," Kris Humphries is moving to erase from the records his brief marriage to Kim Kardashian — a marriage he claims she never meant to work — with an annulment. [People]

● The secret behind Lady Gaga’s warm, glowy complexion? "Orgasms, lots of orgasms," she tells British Elle, adding also that the liquidized spinach she guzzles probably doesn’t hurt. [NYDN]

● Gloria Estefan is in talks to join Ricky Martin on Glee this season for some "bilingual tunes." [EW!]

● Roger Ebert’s long-running television show, At the Movies, is officially on break until Ebert can come up with a better way to fund its production. [NYT]

● Sorry girls, Friday Night Lights’ Zach Gilford is engaged to his girl friend Kiele Sanchez. We hear Taylor Kitsch, though, is still single. [Us]

● Fiona Apple told a Los Angeles audience that her new songs have "been done for a fucking year," suggesting not so subtely that the new material is caught up somewhere in the industry machine. Isn’t there anyone who can fix this?  [Grantland]

Morning Links: ‘Friday Night Lights’ Movie in the Works, Kirsten Stewart Makes Obvious Statement

● Connie Britton (Tami Taylor) says that a Friday Night Lights movie is “happening for realsies.” They’ve got a producer and someone to write the script. “It’s really just a matter of … getting everyone’s busy schedules aligned and making it happen,” Britton told Us Weekly.[Us] ● Willow Smith got a verse from Nicki Minaj for her latest single, “Fireball.” New colors will need to be invented before they can make the music video. [NahRight] ● In a sad, slurred, and often unintelligible tape played for jurors yesterday, Michael Jackson makes clear the pain he felt for his lost childhood, and the children he befriended. “I love them. I love them because I didn’t have a childhood,” he mumbles. “I feel their pain. I feel their hurt.” [NYDN]

● Kristen Stewart says she has a boyfriend, and that he’s English, but that you’ll have to Google the rest because “It’s like, Come on, guys! It’s so obvious!” [E!] ● Tabloids be damned, Jennifer Aniston isn’t all that “desperate” to have a baby. And who could blame her? She probably has a fun life. [People] ● Courtney Love says that if Kurt came back right now, she would “have to kill him.” Well, actually, “I’d fuck him,” she said, and then she’d “fucking kill him.” Guess the drugs and depression made him a handful! [Vanity Fair] ● Yoko Ono will be selling John Lennon’s lithographs and serigraphs and drawings for the next four days from a pop-up shop in SoHo. Get ’em while they last! [Page Six]

As ‘Friday Night Lights’ Comes to a Close, What Will Its Cast Do Next?

Tonight, the lights at East Dillon High go dark for good, as Friday Night Lights wraps its fifth and final season. (The season will air on NBC in the Spring.) For fans of the show, life after FNL might seem like an impossibly bleak prospect. We’ve already been researching some of the better suicide prevention hotlines in the city, and have reached out to drugs and alcohol for support. But what about the cast? While we’re out of a weekly excuse to get teary-eyed, they’re out of a job. And for a lot of them — probably most of them — nothing will ever come close to Friday Night Lights in terms of quality and integrity. As an actor, that’s gotta be terrifying. Because FNL values realism above all else, many regulars left mid-series, their arcs reaching their natural close. Some have used the show as a springboard to greater heights, and others, not so much (If anyone’s seen Gaius Charles around, tell him he’s got a career to manage). So as tomorrow marks the official post-Friday Night Lights era for many of us, and as its cast members awake with a brutal Saturday morning hangover, here’s what some of them are, might be, and should be doing next.

Kyle Chandler: As Coach Eric Taylor, Chandler has been the inspirational beacon to which all other characters revolve. Week after week, he’s delivered a masterclass in subtlety (Who on the show hasn’t?), occasionally stepping up with a take-your-breath-away motivational speech when his players — and we — need it most. Prior to FNL, Chandler’s most visible role came as the airhead matinee idol Bruce Baxter in Peter Jackson’s King Kong, and this summer, he’ll return to the spectacle blockbuster as part of the ensemble in J.J. Abrams’ top-secret alien-on-the-loose project Super 8 (You may have caught a glimpse of him in last Sunday’s Super Bowl spot). On FNL, Chandler excelled at playing the drill sargeant, but the core of his performance was brought out in the domestic scenes with his wife, where he shed the barbed-wire exterior to reveal a marshmallow center. This militaristic football coach, was in the end, a big softie. And after years of Emmy neglect, Chandler finally landed a long overdue nomination for Best Actor in a Drama Series last year. While Chandler doesn’t have any projects officially lined up after Super 8, he should carry the success of FNL well into the futute, and have his pick of authority/father figures in quailty film and television.

Connie Britton: Perhaps no Dillon resident was more beloved than Tammy Taylor, brought to painstaking life by Mrs. Britton. Like her husband, Mrs. Taylor served as the show’s moral compass, sometimes literally, when she took on the job of school guidance councilor. Before she moved to Dillon, Britton was best known as the accountant Nikki Faber on Spin City, and for brief guest stints on shows like 24 and The West Wing. Like Chandler, Britton was finally nominated for an Emmy last year, and has long been considered one half of the most believable couple on television. Also like Chandler, Britton has only one post-FNL project lined up, a buzzless movie called Conception. She’ll make up for that if the rumors are to be believed, and she is in fact developing a series for FX with none other than Fighter director David O. Russell. Now wouldn’t that be something. image

Taylor Kitsch: For five seasons, Tim Riggins was the guy your girlfriends wanted to fuck, and the guy you also wanted to fuck. Sure, he looks great, but it was his character arc — from brooding town drunk, to brooding town drunk with a golden heart and mean right hook — that made us dump our significant others for not being him. Absent for most of Season 5, Kitsch returned a few episodes ago to close out his characters unresolved arc. He was gone, of course, because his movie career is blowing up. He just wrapped the big-budget board game adaptation Battleship, for director Peter Berg, and before that, shot the title role in the sci-fi epic John Carter of Mars, for WALL-E director Andrew Stanton. Both are two of the biggest movies of 2012, and Kitsch is well on his way to becoming a massive movie star, so yeah, we told you so.

Aimee Teegarden: For those of you who don’t watch the show, why are you reading this? But also, you probably know Teegarden as the girl who asked the question heard ’round the web. Based on that video alone, more people (48 million and counting) have seen Teegarden on YouTube than ever will on the show, which is a shame, because they’re missing the work of a talented young actress. Yes, Julie Taylor can sometimes be a brat of the highest order, but she’s a teenage girl with dude problems and probably a body issue or seven. According to IMDb, Teegarden has four films in post-production, including Scream 4 and Disney’s Prom, and plays the love interest opposite Jackson Rathbone in McG’s upcoming web series, Aim High, about a high school student who’s got a side gig as a spy. She’s only 21, which means she can stay in fake high school for a few more semesters, but transitioning into adult roles will be key for the baby-faced actress, as will be avoiding schlock like em> Final Destination 14.

Michael B. Jordan: To avoid confusion with the sound engineer for Trees Lounge, this young actor added the initial B. to his name. Smart move, kid. A Season Four addition and the centerpiece to FNL‘s mid-series makeover, Jordan has emerged as the undisputed heart of the show’s younger cast. As troubled quarterback Vince Howard, not only has he led the East Dillon Lions all the way to State, but he’s turned a dead-end adolescence into something hopeful. That journey has given Jordan ample scenery to chew; sometimes he’ll gnaw at gently, and other times he’ll straight-up devour it. Both are great. And if you watch FNL, it means you’re a fan of good TV, and if you’re a fan of good TV, it means you probably saw a younger Jordan as young Wallace, on the first season of The Wire. So yes, he can act. His first post-FNL project is a big one: He’ll appear as a Tuskegee Airman in the George Lucas-scripted WWII saga Red Tails. Movie stardom is not out of the question.

Matt Lauria: FNL was this boyish-yet-rugged actor’s breakout, but he’s already moved beyond Dillon. His new show, The Chicago Code, had its debut on Monday. Lauria plays a young cop, and while ratings weren’t great for the procedural, given its pedigree (It comes from The Shield creator Shawn Ryan) and how much time FOX has spent advertising — you may remember the constant ads running during the Super Bowl — the show will likely be given a chance to find an audience. If not, Lauria can find work on another drama, although its tough imagining anything equaling the poignancy of a character like his Luke Cafferty.

J. Cole’s Favorite Tracks on ‘Friday Night Lights’

Earlier this year, despite pressure from fans, J. Cole stood firm behind his decision to bypass a follow-up mixtape to 2009’s The Warm Up. His reasoning: Why ruin the anticipation for his buzzed-about Roc Nation debut (an entrée, as he put it) by dropping another mixtape? But with his album’s release date now pushed back to spring 2011, Cole finally gave in, releasing his Friday Night Lights mixtape on November 12, and shutting down his blog with download traffic. “I realized that there would just be too much time before the album came out,” Cole explains. “I did it for my fans, and for myself. Just like they couldn’t go any further without hearing new music, I couldn’t go any further sitting on all that music and not having people hear it. It was bothering me too much.” Last night, Jermaine wrapped up his current tour at Highline Ballroom, blowing away a packed house with classics like “Lights Please” and “Grown Simba” from The Warm Up, and, of course, the new Friday Night Lights lineup, which commanded an appearance from Drake to perform their collaboration “In The Morning.” Juggling a tour schedule, prepping a new album, and dropping verses for Kanye will keep anyone busy, but we were curious to find out how Cole would fit his new songs into his daily rotation.

J. Cole’s Favorite Friday Night Lights Tracks:

To Jump Start the Day: I usually listen to songs that haven’t come out yet, and try to figure out what needs to get better, but “Blow Up” is knockin’. It’s super-duper high energy. If I need some energy, that’s the song that’s gonna give it to me in the morning.

Before a Sold-Out Show: I’m definitely playing the “Friday Night Lights (Intro)” because it sets the tone for a great show. It’s incredible for that “I’m getting focused, I’ve gotta get my mind right” kind of mood.

Tour Stop in a New City: Without a doubt, “Villematic.” I could’ve picked “Higher,” because it’s also a celebration song, but “Villematic” is more my style of celebration. I’m into the real emotional intensity of it. And as for the title, if I’m in a different place, it’s just so funny to say “Villematic” because it reminds me that I’m coming from Fayetteville, North Carolina, a very small city in comparison to say, London or Paris. It just feels really dope.

Taking in a View of the New York Skyline: “Before I’m Gone” is such a dramatic track, and that hook–“One time for the City!”– embodies Manhattan completely.

Returning to Fayetteville: “Home for the Holidays,” absolutely. It captures the nostalgic emotion of getting back up with my homeboys after being gone for awhile. I’ve got a couple more unreleased songs with the same vibe, because that’s been a big part of my life since college – that feeling of going home again.

The Best Verse on the Mixtape: It’s between “Villematic” – which feels like cheating because it has such a long, great verse – and the second verses on “Farewell” and “Too Deep for the Intro.” Those are the top verses. No – wait! The third verse on “2Face” is hands down the best on the mixtape. Hands down. I just changed my mind. Write all of that and then write that I changed my mind. The third verse on “2Face” is super emotional, super intense, super passionate, and it’s saying a lot of real shit on top of all the emotion.

Photo via GoodFellaMedia.com