Afternoon Links: Courtney Love Killed Frances’s Cat With Etsy Fabric, Ja Rule Is Making New Friends

● According to newly revealed details from a petition for a restraining order filed by Frances Bean against her mom, Courtney Love, in 2009, Frances’s "cat died after getting entangled in piles of Etsy fabrics, boxes of paperwork, trash, and other possessions." And then, adding insult to injury, Frances’ dog ate a bunch of Courtney’s pills and died. [TheFix]

● Word has it that Simon Cowell is looking to replace Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger with Beyoncé. He is willing to pay $100 million per year to sit on next season’s X Factor judges’ bench. Seems like a fair trade, no? [MTO]

● Snooki did show "a lot of cleavage" yesterday when she left the SiriusXM studios after a taping with Opus and Anthony, but she did not let even a little nip slip. [Celebuzz/Us]

● The New York Post‘s restaurant critic is not having it with Joanne, the restaurant just opened by Lady Gaga’s parents, where the staff seemed "plucked from the ‘burbs" and the grilled calamari with bitter greens and radicchio was "the worst [he’s] had in a lifetime of squid-mongering." And worse yet, Lady Gaga wasn’t even there. [NYP]

● If nothing else, Ja Rule fancy’s prison an "amazing" place to make new friends in jail, like his own Hevey D ("corporate greed poster-boy") and Kox ("discraced pol"). "Outside, you don’t meet guys like this every day. This place is amazing," he says. [NYDN]

● In case you were wondering where Michelle Obama gets all the strength she needs to support her Commander in Chief husband, we would like to direct you to this video of her beating Ellen DeGeneres in an impromptu push-up contest. [HollywoodLife]

Afternoon Links: Eva Mendes Goes To The Movies With Mama Gosling, Omar Little Arrested In Baltimore

● Eva Mendes chaperoned Ryan Gosling’s movie date with his mother. [People]

● Isiah Silva says of his mostly hush relationship with Frances Bean, "We’re eachother’s everything…We don’t go out to clubs so you won’t find us stumbling out of them with Lindsay Lohan. We stay at home, read books and watch Arrested Development." [People]

● First things first, everyone needs hair cuts: A sneak peak at Jersey Shore‘s return to Seaside, just ahead of Thursday’s Season 5 premier. [HuffPost]

● Rachel McAdams worked at McDonalds for three years before she was famous, but she was too busy washing her hands to be any good of an employee. [Us]

● Russell Brand is taking his divorce from Katy Perry as you might expect anyone to take a divorce: not well. Word has it that, not "up for celebrating," he spent New Year’s Eve alone with takeout in his hotel room. [Page Six]

● Things got a little confusing on the internet when a man named Omar Little — but, no, not that Omar Little — was arrested in Baltimore over the weekend. [Baltimore Sun]

● MTV believes that 2011 was dubstep’s biggest year yet, and they’ve got a colorful infograph to prove it. [MTVHive]