Morning Links: Miley Cyrus Smells Like Teen Spirit, Judge Judy Renews for Four More Seasons

● The New York Times is reporting that “for the first time in 20 years, the number of homes in the United States with television sets has dropped.” Which, well, duh — we didn’t even think they played Teen Mom on the actual boob tube anymore. [NYT] ● Miley Cyrus, who was negative one years old when the song first came out, is covering “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Really, don’t think about this too long. [BuzzFeed] ● Flavor Flav was arrested on his way home from Benihana in Las Vegas by “a curious Rookie Ass Cop,” who found four outstanding traffic offenses on the rapper’s record. At home, Flav tweeted his mug shot while laying in bed. Life! [LAT]

● A post-Osama-death bump in sales has been predicted for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows: Pt 2 . [THR] ● “I always felt out of place, my whole life,” said Jesse James, expressing a sentiment worthy of sympathy but not one that necessarily explains away his recent romantic missteps. [People] ● Looks like Judge Judy will be serving justice from her televised bench until at least 2015. That makes 19 seasons worth of judgments. [AP via NYT]

A Few Tips to Help Flavor Flav Get Into Iowa’s Clinton High School

Legendary Public Enemy hype man, reality-show star, and wearer of oversized timepieces Flavor Flav wants his high school diploma, and he’s willing to move to small-town Iowa to get it. The 51-year-old has experienced phenomenal success since dropping out of 10th grade in Long Island, New York, but the lack of such a basic credential has long weighed on his soul, so he hopes to pick up where he left off at Clinton High School in Clinton, Iowa, a town on the Mississippi River where he recently opened Flav’s Fried Chicken with business partner Nick Cimino.

Naturally, Flav wants a reality show to document his latest embrace of public education, a prospect that has local school officials considering the pros and cons. “Flavor Flav Goes Back to High School” sounds like a potential blockbuster, and could bring some much-needed revenue to the town of 25,000, but schools superintendent Deb Olson is concerned that such an endeavor would be “a substantial disruption to the school day.”

Truer words were never spoken, which is why the man born William Jonathan Drayton, Jr. ought to offer a few concessions to sweeten the offer.

Regular Straight-Talk Sessions with Students on the Risks of Drug Abuse I’m sure Flav would agree that he’s lucky to be alive today, let alone rich and famous. In the early ’90s, a crack-addled Flav assaulted his girlfriend, causing him to lose custody of his children. An attempted murder charge for shooting at his neighbor two years later put him behind bars for 90 days. It took an intervention and two serious stints in rehab before Flav finally figured out what time it was. On the sage advice of Chuck D, Flav moved to LA in 2003, where he soon found work as a charismatic and quirky reality show star. Flav knows that few people are so fortunate, which is exactly what he’ll need to explain to his future classmates in a series of frank, closed-door conversations.

Free Concerts Every Month It’s been a long time since he first performed “911 is a Joke,” but Flav could still still fill a mid-sized venue with hip-hop fans of all ages. Clinton will certainly see its serenity interrupted by the spectacle of Flavor Flav lugging around a calculus textbook, so the least he can do is give a boost to area merchants with a series of free concerts. George O. Morris Park, just steps from the school, would be a perfect spot for outdoor shows in the summer.

Flav’s Fried Chicken in the School Cafeteria I’m sure Clinton High School wants its students to develop healthy eating habits, but a little soul food now and then never hurt anyone. Fortnightly fried-chicken lunches from Flav’s new joint for students and faculty would go a long way toward making him a welcome member of the community.

Le Flav Spirits in Every Bar Flav is joining rappers such as Ludacris and Diddy in launching his own liquor line, Le Flav Spirits, which will include flavored vodkas, cognac, and sparkling wine. Every bar in town should get the full line at a discount, and Flav, if he drinks, should be sure to visit every venue on a regular basis to ensure quality control and add a measure of star power to the clientele.

Regular Appearances at Local Landmarks There’s more to Clinton, Iowa than Flav’s Fried Chicken. Flav should work with local institutions like Bickelhaupt Arboretum, the Clinton Showboat Theater, the Clinton Public Library, and the Clinton LumberKings Minor League baseball team to drum up enthusiasm. Sure, he’s only got one real catchphrase, but “Yeah, boy!” would work with any of these.

Clinton is right to be protective of their way of life, but they’ve got to realize that they’re dealing with a reasonable, sober, middle-aged Flavor Flav, not the loose canon who once required a nation of millions just to hold him back. And it’s about time that someplace besides New York and LA get to benefit from Flavor’s love.

So what do you say, Clinton? Don’t fight Flavor’s power, go with it.

Morning Links: Alec Baldwin to Take Keith Olbermann’s Spot, Joey Fatone Has a Yard Sale

● A source at NBC hears Alec Baldwin might be next in line for Keith Olbermann’s position, citing his large fan base and passion for politics as primary qualifications. Or maybe he just overheard a brainstorm for next week’s 30 Rock. [PopEater] ● After a busy year, Leighton Meester is ready to step out from Blair Waldorf’s shadow. “I really don’t give a [bleep] about being the ‘prettiest girl in the room,” she says. [NYP] ● Flavor Flav christened his new fried chicken joint, Flavor Flav’s Chicken, in Clinton Iowa, by showing off his skills with the deep frier. The rapper-turned-reality star also went to culinary school. [RapRadar]

● “Fuck you, Kings of Leon,” said Glee creator Ryan Murphy after the band turned down requests to have some of their songs covered. Glee treatment aside, many of us share Murphy’s feelings. [HR] ● William and Kate have sent out an official save the date fax to remind various royal families that their day is drawing near. Seating arrangements will be announced by carrier pigeon. [People] ● Are things a little tight for *NSYNC’s Joey Fatone? Last week he had a yard sale at his Florida home, picking up a little extra cash by lending autographs to purchases. Sounds like bank! [TMZ]

Links: Lady Gaga + Kanye West Fame-Killed, Flavor Flav’s Multiple Reality

● It’s not April Fool’s Day, so I have to assume that James Franco joining the cast of General Hospital is not a joke. [EW] ● There might be a Ramones bio-pic in the works based on the upcoming memoir I Slept With Joey Ramone, written by Joey’s brother. And here’s five reasons why this movie shouldn’t be made. [Billboard, Spin] ● Lady Gaga and Kanye West have cancelled their “Fame Kills” tour, presumably because they took the title of their tour to heart. [AP]

● A provocative photo of a ten-year-old Brooke Shields has been pulled from the Tate Modern for fear it would be a “magnet for pedophiles.” [Popeater] ● Amanda Seyfried thought current boyfriend and former Mamma Mia co-star Dominic Cooper was gay when they first meet because of his British-ness and keen sense of dress. [MonstersandCritics] ● Flavor Flav has many more real moments to share with you — that’s why he has another reality show in the works, as well as a talk show, and he’s also going back to high school. [AllHipHop]