Seriously, You Guys, Please Save ‘Happy Endings’

So you’ve probably been reading a lot about how Happy Endings is amazing and hilarious and the funniest show on TV, but due to its low ratings, it has been hit with the unfortunate schedule shuffling (including a move to the Friday night death-spot), episode-burning-off and possible cancellation. ABC has responded to fan pleas with a weird ad campaign, imploring fans to put the work in and save the show. Judging by the current schedule change, it looks like their minds are made up, but to dangle another season in front of fans like a carrot on a string, to sound almost as if the show is being held hostage and only you can save it—and even if views are really the only thing that can keep the show from going off the air, y’all, that’s just mean. Maybe, ABC, if you didn’t keep shuffling it around, casual fans of the show would, like, actually know when it’s on and be able to watch it and keep it from getting canceled.

And Happy Endings getting canceled, as it seems more and more likely, would still really be a bummer, you guys. But maybe we should put the extra effort in to watch it, and to convince our friends and contemporaries and people on the subway to as well. Use whatever selling point works best: the plotlines about dueling bar mitzvah emcees, the "it’s like Friends, but…," the delightful Adam Pally and Casey Wilson, the backstory that they all met as cast members on The Real World, which is sort of weird and amazing in and out of universe. Whatever cards work best in your deck, you know?

Is this what you want, America? Do you really want probably the best sitcom on television right now to get the axe while Two and a Half Men continues to drag its bloated swamp-creature corpse across your living room? Of course not! At least, we hope not. So here’s what we’re going to do: I’m going to end this post with an episode of Happy Endings. You are (hopefully—I can’t tell you how to live your life) going to watch it. You will hopefully find it hilarious, and you will continue to watch this show and end this sitcom hostage crisis. Because this show deserves at least one more season of bringing us joy, lest the cast somehow launch a Kickstarter campaign to try to resurrect it as a movie or something a few years later. 

Before Basking in the Joy of the ‘Happy Endings’ Premiere, Watch The Cast Perform at UCB

Happy Endings‘ third season premieres tonight, but if that’s just too long of a wait for you, the cast’s live special filmed at UCB over the weekend is now on YouTube. Adam Pally and Casey Wilson host the hour-long sketch show, and it goes pretty much as you’d imagine it, complete with Wilson’s goofy, vaguely Carlton Banks-esque dancing. 

A number of special guests appear, including fellow castmates Eliza Coupe and Damon Wayans Jr. (who gets asked some very uncomfortable questions), Fred Savage (!) and Kat Dennings. Brian Gallivan, one of the show’s writers who you may know as the star of Second City’s "Sassy Gay Friend," discusses writing the show ("I relate to Max because I have about one boyfriend a season," he jokes.) and sings an amusing and terrifying song about running into one of his former students at the club, with some cardboard cutouts cheering him on in the background. But perhaps the most memorable moment of the show is Eliza Coupe’s rendition of Claire Danes as Temple Grandin as Carrie Mathison. Watch.

A Vaguely Filthy, Totally Catchy Playlist by ‘Happy Endings’ Star Eliza Coupe

ABC’s hit show Happy Endings is like a deeply dysfunctional Friends. It’s also much darker, smarter, and funnier. As it heads into its third season, the sitcom’s most crowd-pleasing character is the competitive and neurotic Jane, played by Eliza Coupe. Jane is, as Coupe puts it, “a total nutbag—and not nuts as in food from the tree. She’s nuts as in a sack of nuts—as in balls.” Speaking of double entendres, we asked the extremely funny star to create a soundtrack to accompany a “happy ending,” or at least, a nice climax.

“Love Lust” by King Charles
I am obsessed with King Charles. Obsessed! If you watch the video for this song, the guy is tall and lanky and pale and has dreads and I am so fucking attracted to him! I want him to “love lust” all over me. There’s just something about that song—I blast it when I’m doing anything. It’s a beautiful little journey of happy sex. Operative Lyric: “For the sun on my skin / as the morning begins / I’d die in the dark just to feel / your skin on my skin.”

“Starz In Their Eyes” by Just Jack
My brother Thom introduced me to this song when he first moved out to L.A. We played it when we were driving around with the windows down. But then you listen to the lyrics and think, “Oh, how ironic—we’re listening to this in L.A. and I’m an actor.” The song is basically saying, “Don’t become a weird, creepy, drug-addicted, narcissistic, asshole starlet.”
Operative Lyric: “Remember they said you’d show them all / Emphasize the rise but not the fall / And now you’re playin’ a shoppin’ mall…”

“What You Do To Me” by BlakRoc featuring The Black Keys
I’d never heard of BlakRoc before, but I love The Black Keys. It’s so sexy, and you feel like you’re part of the group when you’re playing it in your car. And the line, “Give me mouth-to-mouth or even give me south-to–mouth”—it’s so dirty. Of course I love it. Who doesn’t want that when you’re getting a happy ending? Let’s just spell it out.
Operative Lyric: “Give me mouth-to-mouth or even give me south-to-mouth / Damn ‘cause you don’t know what she do to me.”

“Under Your Spell” by Desire
Drive, the soundtrack of which contains this song, made want to have an insane amount of sex with Ryan Gosling. It’s carried over to this song! Whenever you listen to it you feel a little bit dirty but at the same time sexy. I feel like I have a dirty, sexy secret. I like things a little bit sleazy.
Operative Lyric: “I don’t eat / I don’t sleep / I do nothing but think of you.”

“Last Day Of Magic” by The Kills
I’m straight and I’m married, but I have a real girl crush on [Kills lead singer] Alison Mosshart. My husband has a crush on her, too. I even started dressing like her for a bit. When I lived in New York, I would walk and listen to this song on repeat. When it left me hanging at the end, I would just keep going. I made my own happy ending.
Operative Lyric: “I’ll be the man with the broom / If you’ll be the guts of the room / And there’s only so much you can hide / Before I corner you.”

“A Matter Of Time” by The Leisure Society
The song is like six minutes long, and it almost seems like two different songs. When I’m hiking, I time it out perfectly so right when I get to the top of the mountain the song peaks. While I’m up there, I’m looking out over L.A. and I’m thinking, “I hate you Los Angeles! And I love you at the same time!”
Operative Lyric: “The fever comes, it never dies / It burns my brain and blurs my eyes / Although I wasn’t born to fight / I know I’ll find it in me.”

“Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
Every time I hear the song, I pretend it’s my husband and me doing a duet. My husband is a horrible singer—I love him to bits, but he is off–key in every direction. But we sing it together, and I don’t even care if he sounds like a cat in heat.
Operative Lyric: “Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie / Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ / Ain’t nothing please me more than you.”

“Baby Beluga” by Raffi
My mother was an early childhood development teacher for a while when I was growing up, and we listened to Raffi so much! We had a cassette of his songs and when it broke and we all freaked out—even my parents. As I got older I realized this old guy was singing this song to a bunch of children. What is he doing? What is he after? What really is going on with that “little white whale on the go?”
Operative Lyric: “Way down yonder where the dolphins play / where you dive and splash all day / Waves roll in and the waves roll out / See the water squirting out of your spout.”

“Shape Of My Heart” by Noah and the Whale
When I first heard this song I thought the singer’s voice was horrible, but I ended up just absolutely loving it. It’s really emotional for me and I don’t quite know why. I did a movie in China, and when I was over there I kept putting my iPhone on shuffle and that song kept coming up. I was alone a lot while I was there, and this song just made me think of all the people I love.
Operative Lyric: “For your heart is like a flower as it grows / And it’s the rain, not just the sun that helps it bloom / And you don’t know how it feels to be alive / Until you know how it feels to die.”

Concerto No. 1 for Mandolin, Strings, and B.C in C Major by Antonio Vivaldi, performed by Jörg Faerber, Paul Grund, & Württemberg Chamber Orchestra of Heilbronn
I grew up in New England. My dad read me bedtime stories from Ernest Hemingway and Raymond Carver, and my parents only played classical music in the house. We listened to Chopin, Beethoven, Mozart, but we never listened to this song. I randomly came on in my car recently, and I had it playing so loud. I thought, Oh! I could actually rock out to this.
Operative Lyric: N/A