Mark McGrath Cruise, We Hardly Knew Ye

So remember how like a month ago we told you about this ’90s nostalgia explosion cruise where Mark McGrath was bringing along his pals from Sugar Ray, Live, the Gin Blossoms and other iconic bands of yesteryear to rock the high seas? Well, major apologies to those of you who were trying to finagle press passes or started IndieGoGo accounts to try to raise funds to go or who booked your honeymoon on it, because yesterday, McGrath and friends annouced the cancellation of #Rememberthe90s On A Boat. I know, I know. It’s going to be okay. I promise. 

McGrath took to his Twitter account to announce the cancellation and apologize to fans, citing the recent Carnival "nightmare cruise" "I’m really bummed as well…that poop cruise did us no favors." But it’s really going to be okay! Sugar Ray is still touring this summer and will likely, as they did last summer, bring other sing-along artists of yore along for the ride, or you can still see Smash Mouth all summer hanging out at Guy Fieri’s restaurant in Times Square, probably. And even if there will be no Mark McGrath cruise, the bands’ music will still be with you all summer, in state fair tribute bands and karaoke bars all across this great nation. 

And now, for the only possible appropriate way this could end.

Now That The Mark McGrath Cruise Exists, We Can Forget The ’90s Ever Happened

Remember around this time about eight years ago when ’80s nostalgia reached its peak and VH1 had that show Bands Reunited, where a bunch of one-hit wonders either did or didn’t get back together and it was equal parts delightful and deeply upsetting? No? Well, it looks like we’ve hit that point in the #Rememberthe90s craze, the veritable Olduvai Cliff of our green slime-coated, Internet-fueled nostalgia. And the party responsible is Sugar Ray frontman and one-time Law and Order: SVU guest star Mark McGrath, who has curated a music cruise lineup that is part S.S. Coachella, part Buzzfeed rewind post.

The Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise will sail from Miami to Nassau from October 18th to 21st, 2013, on a Carnival ship. And the lineup features some key players of alternative rock radio of then and now, including Sugar Ray (who are kind of the ultimate lying-buzzed-on-a-deck-somewhere band, when you think about it), musical Guy Fieris Smash Mouth, Gin Blossoms, Spin Doctors, Vertical Horizon, Marcy Playground, The Verve Pipe, Cracker and the lead singers of Collective Soul and Live doing acoustic sets. If my visions of this cruise are accurate, then every TV on the damn boat is either playing Daria or the early seasons of The Real World, and somewhere, the "Bee Girl" from the "No Rain" video will be traversing the ship, serving up cocktails and yarns from her glory days.

I don’t know about you, but the best part of that for me is obviously the special acoustic set featuring Ed Kowalczyk, frontman of alternative radio staples Live. Sing to me, O muse, of the angst of bros at sea, the songs of many an aspiring busker playing to the lunch crowd at Potbelly.