Beauty Trends Guaranteed to Annoy: Pastels, Watercolors, & Vampires

When Kate Moss dyed her hair gray and the entire world erupted in awe, I immediately thought, “Oh shit, here we go.” A lot of times I feel like beauty trends are a lot like reblogging — people recycling stories while believing that they own it if it’s respoken in their own style. But really, while they’re walking around feeling like frontiersmen, hundreds of guys and girls are posturing the same. It’s a beautiful thing when the runways inspire color palates and creativity, perhaps even a bit of jump-into-the-deep-end confidence by promising that style is for everyone. But some kids just ruin a trend by copying and pasting it directly to their face once they’ve seen an Olsen twin try it. These trends will probably be the first to die, or at least annoy you to death while you walk through Union Square, thanks to all the reblogging.

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Photo 1. Pastel Hair I heart this trend and I know it will certainly hit a high note in early spring because it’s an easy way to temporarily change your whole look. But because so many have been sporting it long before the winter ice had melted, it will probably exit the party early. As Rhea from Haute Latte put it, “I personally will not be partaking in this but good for them!” Early Adopters: Becka Diamond, Ashley Olsen, Dree Hemmingway.

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Photo 2. Sexy Vampires Love this guy, but since Jonathan Saunders literally described his runway face as “beautiful vampire” combined with all the Twi-Hards in the world, this will be a tough look to take seriously. It may get a second look, but the same kind of look middle-school goths get while they hang out in front of a movie theater. Early Adopters: Pete Doherty, all of Parisian nightlife.

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Photo 3. Paint-by-Number Watercolors With bold colors on Diesel’s brows and Viktor & Rolf’s cheek/eye/lip combo, it’s cool to see an over-the-top trend. A color for every facial feature! Like with these London club kids. It’s pretty awesome. But now take that and put it on everyone in nightlife. Annoying. And it might spell disaster. It might spell ‘I’m learning to do makeup for the first time.’ Early Adopters: Lynn Yaeger, ravers, maudlin dolls. Tip to make it yours: Pick one crazy color to highlight, or match it to part of your outfit. And don’t copy off of Ms. Yaeger.

Links: Brangelina Sue Over Break Up Rumors; Lil Wayne Goes to Jail

● Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will sue News of the World after the paper published allegations about the couple splitting. If they win and take over the paper, the pair will order staff to report exclusively on Jennifer Aniston’s loneliness. [BBC] ● Highlights from Taylor Swift’s tour rider: sunshine, puppies, rainbows and the blood of one-thousand babies. [ONTD] ● Rapper Nicki Minaj is offering a $50,000 reward to anyone who can locate her stuffed pink monkey, Oscar. [Idolator]

● Lil Wayne will be sentenced to prison time today, entering a facility in which he won’t be allowed cable, but can use DVDs. Good thing there are six seasons of Sex and the City! [MTV] ● The model Dree Hemingway hasn’t read all of her great-grandfather Ernest’s books, calling them “depressing.” Using his name to help get ahead in the industry, though, is “awesome.” [The Cut] ● How to make the New York Times‘ most-emailed list. [Gawker]