Another Adult Woman Cool With Being Criticized By Dr. Drew on Television

You know who needs an intervention? Dr. Drew? You know why? Because he is a bad doctor. Doctors don’t typically give medical and psychological advice on camera because, you know, that’s how how medicine or psychology works. But Dr. Drew is a fake TV doctor, sort of like Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, who are both a couple of dudes who like attention first and being reliable models for good behavior and health second. This is a fact! There are a lot of doctors for people to go to, and you can tell they are OK immediately because they choose not to practice on television. Anyway, the "Tan Mom," who is a lady who became famous for being very, very tanned, is also the kind of person who should not be on TV because of obvious mental issues. But this is how society works! Now, watch as Dr. Drew berates her on live television, because of medicine or something. 

Good work, everyone! We are all the worst people, basically.

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Morning Links: Charlie Sheen’s Best Pick-Up Lines, J-Lo’s School for Baby Modeling

● After 28 years, Regis Philbin is stepping down from his morning show post. Who’s next? Ryan Seacrest? Kathy Griffin? Let the speculation begin! [Gawker] ● Dr.Drew picked up leptospirosis, an infectious disease, while on his second honeymoon in the West Indies. That’s what you get for being greedy about your honeymoon time. [E] ● Dear internet hookers, Charlie Sheen noticed your ad on, fancies himself “an A-list actor that you mite like to meet…” Oh, and he thinks “U are fabulous!” Well, maybe? [TMZ]

● J-Lo has put her three-year-old twins to work modeling for Gucci’s new kids line. Rest assured, she loves being a mom. “I want to do this a thousand more times,” she said of her future sweatshop. [People] ● More than 6 million fans tuned in to Sunday night’s Hannah Montana series finale. Four million of those viewers were under the age of 14. [NYPost] ● Here’s one for the Freudians: fetish photos of Octomom whipping a man dressed as a baby. [TMZ]

Unhealthy Foods Are the New Cocaine

Scientists and obese lab rats have found that high-fat, high-calorie foods effect the brain in a similar way to cocaine and heroin. A new study shows that both hard drugs and junk food overload the brain’s pleasure center and cause it to crash, necessitating a bigger hit of junk food/coke/heroin to get the same pleasure…and, well, we’ve all been there before.

The study suggests that overeating isn’t just a matter of willpower but more akin to addiction. The lab rats were divided into three groups; one group was fed regular rat food, the second was allowed to consume human junk food for an hour each day, and the third was allowed unlimited access to the junk food. Researchers found that the third group ate compulsively. When they applied a painful electrical shock to the rats while eating, those in the first and second group stopped, but the rats in the third group kept on chowing down. Rats given unlimited access to cocaine and heroin have exhibited similar behaviors and similar changes in their brains pleasure centers.

Scientists also note that our food is now made in a manner similar to cocaine. Just as snorting cocaine has been refined and purified from the centuries-old practic of chewing on coca leaves, making it more addictive, so has food. Rather than eating whole grains and corn, as our ancestors did, we now go straight to the vein with Wonder Bread and corn syrup.

And, as a whole, these studies further suggest that Jamie Oliver will be the new Dr. Drew.