‘Happy Endings’ Producers Join ‘Assistance’ Pilot as Part of Two-Year Deal With NBC/Universal

What is going on over at ABC? First of all, I have no idea if I will ever see another episode of Happy Endings. The show was moved to Fridays after lots of schedule shuffling, although none of the remaining episodes have aired yet. And today we learn that two of the show’s producers, Josh Bycel and Jonathan Fener, have signed a two-year deal with NBC/Universal, which involves their involvement in the pilot for Assistance, which is based on the play by Leslye Headland. Headland, you may remember, wrote and directed the bitingly funny Bachelorette, which she also adapted from her play. Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23 (R.I.P.) star Krysten Ritter is attached as the lead. Let’s cross our fingers that this show, which has some great talent behind it, gets picked up to series. But also, WHERE IS HAPPY ENDINGS? I miss my Happy Endings, which is a sentence I never thought I’d say—at least not in this context.

[via THR]

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Krysten Ritter’s Unemployment Didn’t Last Long

Less than a month ago, ABC pulled the quirky comedy Don’t Trust The B—- In Apartment 23 from their schedule, leading stars Krysten Ritter and James Van Der Beek to tweet the sad confirmation the show had been cancelled. Fortunately for Ritter, unemployment has not lasted long: she’s been cast as the lead in a new show about Hollywood assistants called The Assistance

Ritter will play Nora, a "workaholic" assistant to "crazy" film producer Daniel Weisinger who keeps her at his beck and call 24/7. As weirdly described by The Hollywood Reporter, Nora has "a sex appeal directly proportional to her anxiety level," which might mean we’re going to see boss/assistant sex? The Assistance will be written and executive produced by Leslye Headland of Bachelorette, who wrote the play on which the show is based. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay are also producing. 

Krysten Ritter is lovely in everything she does, so I’m happy to see she’s so quickly landed at a new sitcom. And if she or Leslye Headland need any background on life as an assistant, I hope they check out Lilit Marcus’ career advice book, Save The Assistants, for help. #ShamelessPlugForFriend

Contact the author of this post at Jessica.Wakeman@Gmail.com. Follow me on Twitter

Get Ready for a Third Season of ‘Girls’

The second season of Girls has only seen two episodes air, but HBO is betting this season will be a success. That’s why they’ve already ordered a third season of the show. I, for one have not had enough think-pieces about Lena Dunham yet. Think of the feminist bloggers (and the dudes who love to hate-read them) who’ll be able to parlay this news into at least a few more months of material. Meanwhile, ABC pulled Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23 from their line-up, proving that it’s much harder out there for bitches than it is for girls. [Via LA Times, HuffPo]

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Linkage: Don Johnson’s Moderately Sized Johnson, ‘Fifty Shades’ of Krysten Ritter

It’s news to most of us who were born in the early ’80s and don’t remember much about Don Johnson, but apparently he’s always been rumored to have a large penis. “Johnson,” you see. But now that people are talking about him again (he’s another nearly forgotten actor who owes Quentin Tarantino an Edible Arrangement or, perhaps, an Ace of Cakes creation in the shape of a foot), Johnson has taken the time to debunk the rumor. “Look, I’ve seen guys with a lot bigger [penises] than me.” And now we know! [VH1 Celebrity]

A new season of Cougar Town premieres on TBS next Tuesday, and the cast and crew couldn’t be more thrilled that the network, unlike others (*cough*ABC*cough*) are actually promoting it. But they all still think the name is stupid. Says co-creator Bill Lawrence, “Being filled with self-loathing is a characteristic of 90 percent of comedy writers anyway… It’s an amazing title. I’d do it again.” [Hollywood Reporter]

TV’s baddest B might find the tables turned on the big screen. Apt. 23’s Krysten Ritter tweeted that she’d be “down” to play the role of Anastasia Steele in a movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. Winky-face! [EW]

A&E proves that there’s some sort of liberal media bias. The network has picked up The Governor’s Wife, a 12-episode reality series about former Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards and his wife, Trina, who is 50 years his junior. I’m ashamed to report this dude is a Democrat. [Deadline]

Meanwhile, Joe Biden could easily star in his own television program. [Hypervocal]

BREAKING NEWS: 68-year-old Star Wars enthusiast engaged to really hot lady. [People]

As it turns out, the newspaper featured in Back to the Future and its sequel—the Hill Valley Telegraph—was a pretty shitty publication. [Vulture]

If you’re planning to get bombed on your next transatlantic flight, do your best not to fly Icelandair. Duct tape residue is hard to remove. [Gawker]

I didn’t bother to figure out what the hell “Downton braves its own fiscal cliff” is supposed to mean, but knock yourselves out. [WaPo]

“Let’s never forget: we’re the story, not them,” says Albert Brooks’s character in Broadcast News. With that in mind, here’s what the apartment shared by a couple of New York-based reporters looks like. (What’s that? You’re not a member of the New York media? Well, that’s your problem.) [HuffPo]

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Krysten Ritter Is TV’s Baddest Bitch (But In Real Life She’s Pretty Nice)

As the titular b—- in the hit ABC comedy Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23, Krysten Ritter holds her own against sleazeball James Van Der Beek in millions of homes across America. But who is the woman behind the B? I met the actress for lunch to find out.

She’s from the sticks.
I’m from a tiny place in northeastern Pennsylvania called Shickshinny. I grew up very poor on a cattle farm and lived in the same house where my stepdad was born and his father before him. As a child, I had to harvest corn, pick vegetables, feed cows, and pick up rocks.

She left the sticks at age fifteen.
I started coming to New York to model when I was 15 after being scouted at a mall in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. As soon as I visited, I started to meet all these cool weirdos, but I also realized that you have a short shelf life as a model. You’ve got two seasons; if you don’t make it, you go home. And I never wanted to go home.

She left the sticks at age fifteen and moved to Williamsburg (before it was cool).
Back in 2000, I lived on North Third and Kent, right next to a cement factory. Every morning at seven, they’d start loudly making cement. It was horrible. My friends who live there now never would have come to visit me back then.

Success came early.
When I was 23, I sold a pilot called Model Camp. I was acting and writing a lot, and I just pitched this idea to a room of people at Warner Bros. What was I thinking?! It didn’t get made, but it was pretty cool to sell something. It’s so hard to get anything made.

Success came early and often.
I had one line in the 2003 film Mona Lisa Smile, but I was on set for the whole shoot, surrounded by these famous girls like Kirsten Dunst, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Julia Stiles. And Julia Roberts! She was so cool. She came up to me on set one day holding this drawing of a girl from the ’50s with short black hair and a pointy nose and said, “Krysten, this is you!”

Success came early and often and continues.
I just sold a show to MTV, which I’m also producing, called Cassandra French’s Finishing School for Boys, based on a book by Eric Garcia. It’s about this girl who keeps a bunch of boys chained up in her basement. She’s basically a female Dexter but without the killing.

She’s a flautist.
I was in the school band. I started out with the flute, but I didn’t think that was cool enough, you know. So I switched to clarinet. I liked the whole reed thing. I was very, very cool.

She’s an ex-flautist, current apprehensive rock star.
I’m in a band with my friend Will. We’re called Ex Vivian. It’s a very lo-fi project and not produced at all. I click record and go. Everyone who’s heard it says it sounds like Mazzy Star, and I’m like, “Yeah, probably because I love Mazzy Star.” But as it turns out, I don’t like to perform live.

She’s on TV. But does not own a TV.
Because of how I grew up, I’m the most frugal person in the world. I like saving the $150 a month. My friends all stare at me slack–jawed when I ask them the difference between TiVo and DVR. I thought about getting cable, and even called Time Warner, but they never showed up. Eventually I forgot about it.

She’s totally cool about the insane flip-flopping pertaining to the title of her show.

I never thought they would use “bitch” in the title anyway. I’ve been around the block. They told me it was the title role, and I thought, “There’s no way that’s happening.” And sure enough, they changed it to Apt. 23. I thought, “See, you can’t trust anyone in television!” And then they put it back! Sure, it’s the softer version. I said, “C’mon, let’s just go for it.” Now, I’m glad it’s just The B. Everyone yells that at me now. “Hey, it’s The B!” It’s much better than people screaming, “Hey, bitch!” at me!

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