Did you ever call someone, and they told you they couldn’t chat because they "were all tied up?" Well, they may have been talking literally. This Thursday, a group of very experienced ladies operating under the name Domi Dollz, will host an event which is meant to educate those who want to know more about the gentle art of BDSM. With sex being a top 5 Family Feud answer to why people go out at night, it’s sometimes important to know what you are doing. The old kink clubs of yore, like The Vault or The Mineshaft, are no longer around for the enlightened or the curious voyeur. Kink has been relegated to the very two-dimensional world of the internet with occasional get-togethers at secret spots. There are still parties where sex is the overt goal, but not like it was.
The world wide web serves as our hidden playground, our dark half of the brain. It is a fantasy world where anything can be found, but most of us like the idea of meeting our marker face to face. Internet profiles, as shocking as this may sound are, sometimes, exaggerated. How do you find that special someone who can push your buttons the way you like them pushed? For those with kink on the brain, it’s become harder to find like-minded individuals to play with at real live social gatherings. Domi Dollz events at the very least will gather like-minded people and show them how to play safe, and learn the skills to do it right. They will be whipping attendees into shape this Thursday from 7 to 11 at the Museum of Sex. When in doubt, wear black. I chatted with Ms. Mona Rogers, Cheri Dubois, and Ms. Nina Payne, and naively asked them about it all.
Cheri Dubois didn’t say much, but I suspect she may be the type that talks softly but carries a big, well you fill in the blank, this Thursday.
Am I wrong in saying that you’re lifestyle dominatrixes?
NP: Not really, particularly this group that’s sitting here. I myself have been a dominatrix for ten years, and started training mistresses in New York City about five years ago. But Cheri Dubois, she does more modeling and performance art and she also in her spare time is a yoga instructor. She just kind of embraces the kink lifestyle.
MR: Although I am in the profession, I’ve pretty much been playing since I was in high school, and I do embrace the more lifestyle aspects of it also.
I understand that a great many Americans dabble in this, but it’s sort of a secret, underground thing. Years ago, the police department of the city of New York deemed it a very bad thing, and started busting all the dungeons. This S&M lifestyle, this predilection, this kink, is a taboo in our society, but many practice or want to practice it. But somehow, it’s shoved into the corners. Is it that good, or should it be embraced?
NP: What Domi Dollz is about, is actually showing the public that not only is pain associated with kink, but there are many levels of kink. Most people have had some exposure to kink, whether it’s talking dirty or dressing up in lingerie, or tying up your boyfriend and doing a striptease. Not all elements of kink have to revolve around the dominatrix and pain and that sort of thing. We think it’s always best to educate the public if they want to learn more about kink and specific techniques.
In the Roman times, people seemed more open with orgies, and bisexuality was more accepted. No one even thought about these things. We’re living in a very structured, religiously dominated time. Yet, I think there’s a revolution going on. If you go online, kink toys like vibrators are becoming more and more sophisticated, and more readily available.
MR: Well, now we have the technology, so now we have the power. It’s just an evolution, that’s how I look at it. If you look at artwork, they started out with only different forms and mediums. The cavemen were painting on walls, and then we moved to canvases, and so on and so forth. So it’s been around for millions of years.
Yea, sex has been around for a while.
MR: Even kink. I was looking up certain historical facts for our class, and it goes back to 9th century BC. Kink was actually associated with religion.
I read somewhere that the Emperor Tiberius spent like half his treasury on pornography, that he procured from Persia and China. So, kink has been around a long time. People think kinkily.
NP: What’s kinky to someone might be completely run-of-the-mill for somebody else. So we have to ask each other, would this be considered pretty risky? A little too much? Because in our classes we are dealing with so many novices that we want to make sure everyone feels comfortable and can receive the information that we’re giving them.
Let’s talk about the event this Thursday.
NP: This is an introductory class, but we have a huge entertainment aspect to the class. It’s really an educational performance. We’re going to have all the ladies dressed up, greeting the guests in our lovely dominatrix gear, and we’re going to have little toy boys running around, welcoming the guests as well. Once we get the class started, it’s all about going over the history of BDSM, talking about the psychology behind it. We’re going to talk a little bit about how to prepare for your own session, or what your play partner can expect as far as safety goes. We’re also going to be teaching specific techniques, like spanking, flogging, cross whipping, face slapping, choking, tying someone up, sensory play, roll playing, attitude, and style, just to name a few. So we’re going to be touching on the whole spectrum, different kink options, and in the future we’re going to be having more intensive classes. This event is just a taste of what we have to offer from Domi Dollz.
MR: I also wanted to say that though this is a beginners class, and is definitely on the lighter side, that that’s good. We want to use things like this as a springboard to enhance intimacy and communication in already established relationships. A step outside the norm, giving you broader options to create a greater connection with your partner.
NP: Our main objective is for people to have fun. That’s all anyone has to worry about when they come to one of our performances. Guests have their own choice on how much they want to participate in the actual workshops. This is an interactive experience, but if they just want to sit back and be a voyeur, and just kind of take in all the information, that’s fine. We also have an option for people to come up and practice some spanking techniques, or practice tying someone up, that sort of thing. So it’s really up to the attendees as to what they want to experience. At the end of they day, we just want people to have a good time and walk away feeling like they had fun and experienced something different.
You use the term BDSM, but bondage and sadomasochism are two different things, though sometimes they can be the same thing. Some people just like to be tied up, some people love pain. But isn’t most of this just about a power exchange?
MR: It’s not always about a power exchange. There are different forms of play. People can be a bottom, but they’re not necessarily always submissive. They just like to be on the receiving end, or maybe they just like bondage and like the feel of being restricted. But, they’re not about submitting. Maybe for them, bondage feels like a really nice hug, and they’re in their own headspace with that, enjoying that moment, and the top is doing that for them. I put these ropes on you because I don’t want you to move. That’s different, that’s the power exchange. It doesn’t always have to be like that. When there’s an element of power exchange, I consider it more of an energy exchange than anything else.
So it’s this Thursday, at the Museum of Sex. What time is it?
NP: It starts at seven and will run till around nine.
Do you usually do after parties?
NP: We will be gathering at the Ace Hotel for drinks and cocktails if people want to ask us questions for one-on-one.
How many doms will be there?
MR: It’s actually just Dollz, all types of women, not just dominatrixes. There will be about six Dollz and maybe about three little toy boys running around.
Maybe four, I’m getting kind of excited.