NEWS BITES: Juggalos, Marijuana in New York, and Macy’s

Insane Clown Posse Sues Justice Department For FBI’s ‘Gang’ Label

A 2011 FBI report described the rap-metal’s devoted fans the Juggalos as a dangerous gang, 

NY Gives Thumbs Up To Medical Marijuana

New York Governor Cuomo announced he will authorize the use of medical marijuana, making New York the 21st US state to do so. That makes me sick!

Rodman Hostage Comments Apology

Dennis Rodman has become the Rob Ford of Basketball.

Macy’s to Lay Off 2,500

Along with that, six stores will be closed – the move will save Macy’s $100 million.

T-Mobile Will Pay Termination Fees

To coax you to their company, T-Mobile will pay your early termination fees to switch phone companies. Yes, but will they fix all the goddamn drop-off zones in NY?

Brooklyn Slumlord Slaying Caught On Tape

Killers laid in wait for several hours, then attacking the victim, binding him with duct-tape and throwing him into a van shortly after 11:30 that night.

NEWS BITES: Dennis Rodman, Terry Richardson, & Putin

Dennis Rodman Preps North Korea in Basketball

Dennis Rodman used to be the crazy man of American basketball. And now his new role is Kim Jong Un’s coaching buddy.

33-Year Old Man’s Quest to Look Like Justin Beiber

He’s spent over $100,000 in his quest.

Guilty Duo Claimed Holy War in Brutal Murder of UK Soldier

They considered themselves “soldiers of Allah” by nearly beheading a soldier on a London street.

Putin Applauds NSA Efforts

Of course, we’ve seen the movie, “The Lives of Others.

Delta Will Ban Cell Phone Calls Even If Approved

There’s one more thing Delta has going for it.

Terry Richardson and Audrey Gelman Break Up

The fashion photographer and “Girls” actress have parted ways.

Conservative Who Voted Against Medical Marijuana Are Now Investing in the Pot Business

Republican Steve Katz, who voted against a medical marijuana bill in 2012, will invest up to $10 million in pot business. Oh irony.

Dennis Rodman to Host a Cara Quici Video Release Party at the DL

I’m completely confused by this event over at DL‘s rooftop tonight. Starting at 7pm, Cara Quici is presenting a party for the video release of "Fight," which is "the official remake of the Beastie Boys’ ‘Fight For Your Right (To Party)’." Dennis Rodman–yes, that guy–is hosting the event. I was asked if I wanted to ask Mr. Rodman some questions and indeed I may, but I don’t know what to ask. I’m thinking about things like these: WTF?, How could you?, Seriously?, What were you thinking? and maybe What was the food like? I like Dennis Rodman. I liked him as a baller and I like and always chuckle at his post B-ball celebrity career. I am curious to see what the crowd will be like.

Mondays are a curious affair. They can be the best or the most desperately boring. For a million years the smart set gathered at Butter, but that passed and to some extent Catch answers all the questions. For the downtowners, Bingo at Chantelle provides reliable fun from all the unusual suspects.On Monday the 22nd I will surely pop over to Rockwood II (196 Allen Street @Houston) to catch Rudely Interrupted, featuring the glorious Lorraine Lackie and bon vivant, author, scholar, man about town Anthony Haden-Guest. They will be performing songs from their new album. I will be there as I am curious to see what the crowd will be like.

And yes… I must keep my posts short to ease the burden of those over at BlackBook covering for my editor Bonnie Gleicher, who is off somewhere in our world of wonder betraying our trust–probably editing someone else–in some sunny paradise surrounded by? … I’m curious to know what that crowd looks like.

Nobody Say Anything About Dennis Rodman’s North Korean Espionage Mission

Guys, please don’t mess this up. The CIA has been working for years on getting an American basketball star into North Korea to seriously disrupt their nuclear research program, and the more you talk about it, the more chance Dennis Rodman has of being exposed as our greatest and most daring spy. So shhhhh.

Honestly I shouldn’t even have to explain this to you, god, but Dennis Rodman has been working covertly for the past thirty years. You think there was really some tattooed, green-haired, star forward for the Chicago Bulls known as “The Worm”? Please. That was just the perfect cover. The one he needed to infiltrate a brutal dictatorship.

Now he’s this close to crippling North Korea’s military infrastructure and all you can do is blab about his historic journey to act as diplomat to the isolated country and possibly meet its autocratic ruler, Kim Jong-un. Well, shove it! This is a dangerous mission, and Rodman doesn’t need you drawing undue attention to his nefarious plot. Come on. Play it cool.   

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.

Your Daily Guide To Trending Topics

Every day there are some topics that are trending. Since many of them don’t make sense, we provide easy contextualization. Also, this way, you won’t actually have to know anything about anything.

Doc Watson

Google searchers are kicking off the week on a bit of a sour note, searching for Doc Watson, the blind blues-folk performer who died Tuesday at a North Carolina hospital. The legend died after either complications from abdominal surgery or a fall-and-long-illness combo, depending on who you ask. Either way, it’s a great loss. Below, check out an impressive Watson performance of “Black Mountain Rag.”

Ween

It’s a musical morning over at Google, where the second most searched term is Ween. As in the band. It’s all thanks to a story in Rolling Stone in which Gene Ween (whose real name is Aaron Freeman) explains that after 25 years, “I’m retiring Gene Ween.” It’s a sad moment for fans of Ween’s eclectic music, which purposefully sounded very different from album to album, but not an unexpected one. Freeman melted down at a Vancouver show last year and subsequently spent some time in rehab, which had tongues wagging. Also, the band had been together for 25 years, so enough already. Still, check out a Ween classic below.

Rodman Sentenced

Yahoo! users are more interested in former basketball superstar Dennis Rodman’s recent legal woes than anything else. Rodman was sentenced to 104 hours of community service for failing to pay child support. Rodman’s lawyer said that the missing payments were from a time when the ostentatious athlete was required to pay $50,000 per month in spousal and child support, a sum that was a bit out of his price range; these days Rodman is paying $4,500 a month and claims to be up to date. Rodman will find himself back in court in June on other related charges. The ever eloquent ex-husband of Carmen Electra said, “"It does suck the fact that it had to come to this."

Miami Cannibal Attack

Police have identified 65-year-old Ronald Poppo as the victim of the already infamous “Miami Cannibal” attack in which a homeless man named Rudy Eugene was found naked, eating the face off another man (Poppo). Police shot and killed Eugene, who they suspected of being high on the drug known as “bath salts.”

#50ThingsIHate

Twitter, meanwhile, is self-absorbed as ever. Sure, the plight of evil former Liberian leader Charles Taylor is trending, as is Doc Watson, but the most popular tag on the site this morning is this one, in which users spout off about what irks them. 50 times over.

Hate 1

Hate 2

Hate 3

Hate 4

Morning Links: M.I.A. Splits With Benjamin Bronfman, Lana Del Rey Tour Postponed

● Rumor has it that M.I.A. has split with Benjamin Bronfman, her long time fiancé and the father of her son, Ikhyd. M.I.A. [NYDN]

● Lana Del Rey’s tour has been postponed in the wake of her disastrous Saturday Night Live showing so that she can’t "disappoint again." ”It would have backfired," says someone who knows. [Page Six]

● New momma Beyoncé looked fabulous — if a bit tired — in her fitted red dress and with a big blue rock on her finger at Jay-Z’s big show at Carnegie Hall last night. [YBF]

● Fourteen years later, Brandy and Monica have finally gotten around to that "The Boy Is Mine" follow-up we’ve been waiting for: Behold at last, "It All Belongs To Me." [Rap-Up]

● Dennis Rodman’s topless basketball team is almost ready to hit the courts! [PageSix]

● Kanye West doesn’t keep a cell phone. As French Montana, the rapper who opted not to joing G.O.O.D., puts it: “I always thought it was brilliant for Kanye not to have a phone…If you are at a certain level like Kanye is at, most of the people who are calling your phone, are people who are going to ask you for something, negative energy.” [Vibe]

● According to contract, M.I.A. will have to pay up if the NBC gets fined for her little show within the show. [TMZ]

Links: No Direction for Scarlett Johansson, Katy Perry’s Swine Flu Swag

● Scarlett Johansson’s directorial debut in the vignette series “I Love New York” has been cut for what producers say are “creative difference.” [E!] ● Swine flu has stopped Heidi Klum and Seal’s renewal of their vows; the couple were married five years ago at their Mexican vacation home and hoped to duplicate the ceremony. I hear you can get a good deal in Vegas now. [LAT] ● Dennis Rodman is entering outpatient rehab so he doesn’t have to miss the Celebrity Apprentice reunion show. Why not just wait for the next season of Celebrity Rehab? [E!]

● Beyonce is set to expand her Eartha Kitt role from Cadillac Records into a full-length biopic. [TeenHollywood] ● Katy Perry has gifted herself a blinged-out pig ring to memorialize the swine flu hysteria. [Showbizspy] ● Jessica Simpson’s singing and acting career may be on the skids, but at least there’s clothing. Simpson is set to expand her fashion “empire” with a lingerie line. [PopCrunch]

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