You’re Going To Look Great When You Go Gray

Not that you don’t look great now. But a little salt-and-pepper? Women loooooooove that. Just you wait and see. So distinguished. So refined.

Especially with a suit. You’ll be wearing suits by then, not these affected slacker outfits. It’s going to be a very attractive package—you, with a bit of gray, wearing a sharp gray suit. Yes, the suit will be gray also. It will.

You’re going to look great with some wrinkles, too. I like your face at the moment (you know I love your face, it’s perfect), but at the moment it’s also a baby face. I’m sorry! I told you, I love it, it’s just going to get even better with wrinkles. I’m not kidding!

And when you have to walk with a cane? Honey, I’ll be jumping you like crazy. Do you know how much limps turn me on? There’s something so hot about wear and tear on the body. There’s decades of history and experience in each lurching step. I’ve got chills just thinking about it.

But most of all, it’ll be amazing when you die. IMAGINE IT. You lying there, in the casket, spotless and dead forever. Utterly still. Maybe I’ll even die first, so we’ll be dead at the same time! God, it sounds like heaven.

Follow Miles Klee on Twitter.