America’s #Normcore President Eats Lunch at Chipotle

Photo via Chipotle ad and Obama sticker

Stars, they’re just like us.

President Obama went to lunch at Chipotle today. The press covering the event have left so many questions unanswered. Here, press, here are some things your readers are wondering.

I wonder if he got a burrito.
I wonder if he got a burrito bowl.
I wonder if he added guacamole.
I wonder if they asked him if he knew it was a dollar extra.
I wonder if he got mild, medium, or spicy salsa.
I wonder if he likes sour cream.
I wonder if he got a diet coke, or he got a “cup for water” and then filled it up with diet coke as his secret service men blocked the cashier’s line of vision.
I wonder if he went to the little area on the side and got a piece of lemon using the tongs.
I wonder if he used his fingers instead.
I wonder if his stomach hurt afterwards.
I wonder if he was thinking about his digestion when he was at a forum on working families right after lunch.
I wonder what’s going on in Iraq.
I wonder if he got black or pinto beans.

Ten Questions Jim Lehrer Won’t Ask Mitt Romney About His Chipotle Lunch at Tonight’s Debate

In Denver this evening, expect debate moderator Jim Lehrer to ignite a lot of talk of domestic and foreign policy and alarmingly little on the hot-button issue of what it was like when Mitt Romney stopped in at Chipotle for lunch yesterday. Here are the gotcha questions Mr. Lehrer will not risk his reputation by posing.

Did you order a bowl out of fear that you would eat a burrito incorrectly?

What was your honest reaction when you found out that guacamole costs extra?

Would you short the stock of an overexposed and high-cost retail chain?

Isn’t it true that robots such as yourself can’t digest cilantro?

Is your choice of pork a message to Israel?

Did you really need that many napkins, sir?

[Hurls bucket of Tabasco sauce at podium]

Are you now or have you ever been a Taco Bell customer?

If Elohim himself commanded you to drink a beer, would you try Corona or Modelo?

Don’t you think they should find a way to melt the cheese?

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