Linkage: You Will Not See Kim Kardashian Give Birth, Harvey Weinstein Is Not the Antichrist

When the news broke that Kim Kardashian is expecting Kanye West’s baby, I’m sure I’m not the only one who assumed that a birthing special would find its way on E! at some point. That is where we are as a society: it makes perfect sense that we’d have the opportunity to watch a human come out of Kim Kardashian. (Hell, a lot of us have seen a human go into Kim Kardashian.) But, thankfully, the mom-to-be has announced that the birth will be private, and she’s looking forward to not working for a while. Think about that as you click through the internet, desperate to leave your office and not work for a few hours before returning tomorrow morning! [Jezebel]

We also live in a world where Harvey Weinstein can declare that he is not the Antichrist in front of a room full of people and no one bats an eye. [THR]

I’ve shit-talked a lot of famous people on the Internet in my time, but very few of them have contacted me to call me out on it. Note to self: never make fun of Richard Marx on your blog. He has a Google alert and he knows how to use it. [The Morning News]

At a show at Brooklyn’s Bell House, Community creator Dan Harmon recruited Saturday Night Live’s Jason Sudeikis to prank call Chevy Chase in character as Joe Biden. It’s about as funny as it sounds. [Vulture]

The Office’s former workers B.J. Novak, Mindy Kaling, and Zach Woods will all be making appearances in the final episodes of the sitcom, but Steve Carrell won’t be returning to his old workplace. [Paste]

I’m not sure why this is news, or even why I’m repeating it as if it’s interesting, but: the son of the guy who created Barney was charged with murder. Now, I get it if he allegedly stomped someone to death or ate them. You know, like a dinosaur would do. [TMZ]

Vogue’s upcoming issue features a Hurricane Sandy-themed fashion shoot called “Storm Troupers.” Puns! It has made a lot of people angry. [Gawker]

My Headlines? My Headlines Seem So Smart But I’m Also Scared About My Headlines. [The Awl]

Dear Abby will be giving unsolicited advice in Heaven. [E!]

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Of Course the ‘Community’ Season Premiere Is ‘Hunger Games’-Themed

So Community was supposed to premiere in the fall along with the rest of the NBC comedy lineup, including such gems as Animal Practice and that new show with Matthew Perry. But then the premiere got delayed and the cast made that video about how every day is October 19th that ended up as a bunch of gifsets and then Chevy Chase peaced out. But it seemed for a minute as though Community would never come back, leaving in its wake a bunch of pop culture references and sad Troy/Abed shippers. 

But Community is, in fact, coming back for a fourth season, and soon. And as the season premiere trailer revealed, of course it’s a send-up of another popular pop culture thing. So what do we have? Will they top a video game, a weird Pulp Fiction/My Dinner With André mashup and a Ken Burns Civil War documentary with a Wes Anderson film-esque episode? A ’90s flashback episode with Dean-an and Kel? The episode where we find out what happened to Pierce? Nope—unsurprisingly, Community is kicking off its fourth season with a Hunger Games episode. In "The Hunger Deans," which features Jim Rash’s Dean Pelton sporting an outfit akin to Katniss Everdeen’s "Girl On Fire" dress and being wheeled in by shirtless men dressed as unicorns, a registration system hack at Greendale leads to an all-out battle royale for spots in the coveted "History of Ice Cream" class. Because duh, what else would it possibly be? Although hasn’t Community kind of already done the registration battle royale thing before with the paintball episodes? This seems like oddly familiar territory. 

Community returns on Thursday, February 7th, but in the meantime, watch the preview clip below, and may the deans be ever in your favdean. 

Afternoon Links: Chevy Chase Calls ‘Community’ Mediocre, ‘Game of Thrones’ Gets Another Season

● Apparently Chevy Chase thinks that Community is "just a fucking mediocre sitcom." "I want people to laugh and this isn’t funny," he tells the show’s creator, Dan Harmon, in frustrated voicemail, leaked to Celebuzz. "I’m 67-years-old and I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve been making a lot of people laugh — a lot better than this." What say you? [Celebuzz]

● According to guitarist Ronnie Wood, the Rolling Stones are headed back to the studio "to just bat some ideas around" ahead of their 50th anniversary. [ArtsBeat]

● Ricki Lake and her fiancé Christian Evans eloped! And then, they sent People the pictures two days later. [People]

● Jennifer Lawrence actually skinned a squirrel for Winter’s Bone, and she doesn’t care who knows it. "Screw PETA," she says, sounding more and more like Katniss Everdeen. [Us]

Game of Thrones, which has been posting record ratings recently, has been officially invited back by HBO for a third season. [EW]

● There is reason to believe that, if they keep it up with the movie dates and love songs and sleepovers, Kanye West could show up on the next season of any one of Kim Kardashian’s television shows. [MTV]

Afternoon Links: Nicki Minaj Signs Up With Pepsi, Michael Bay Tells Ninja Turtle Fans To ‘Chill’

● Nicki Minaj has inked a multimillion-dollar deal with Pepsi to be the face their new "Pop" beverage. "It’s going to be explosive," they say. [Forbes]

● Michael Bay says die-hard fans need to "chill," because he is not going to ruin the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot he is working on. "Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place," he assure. "Our team is working closely with on of the original creators of the Ninja Turtles to help expand and give more complex back story." [TMZ]

● Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase are writing a movie together. "Can’t say too much about the concept, but the joy of working with him again is one that I am extremely excited about," Aykroyd writes on Facebook.  [Vulture]

● Apparently Drake don’t mind if he do with Wayne’s sloppy seconds. [RapFix]

Harry Potter bully Jamie Waylett has been sentenced to two years in prison for involvement (during which he was allegedly in possesion of a firebomb) in last summer’s London riots. [Us]

● Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine is in negotiations to join the second season of FX’s American Horror Story as a contemporary character and one half of a couple called “The Lovers.” [EW]

Room at the Bedford Post Inn

According to Page Six, Richard Gere’s Bedford Post Inn is on the cusp of falling apart. After losing Chris Tunnah, general manager of the Farmhouse restaurant, last year, they said bye bye to Chris Broburg, who’s now pastry chef for The Four Seasons. The latest to jump ship is executive chef Brian Lewis. The Post speculates that Bedford resident Martha Stewart might be a candidate for take over, but the one-woman powerhouse denies any interest. After the jump, Bedford residents and neighbors of the Inn who could also serve as fitting proprietors.

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Ralph Lauren Since opening his second Ralph Lauren Restaurant, Ralph’s, serving all things American in Paris, Lauren can officially add ‘restauranteur’ to his CV. Ralph’s has been tremendously popular among the hip set in Saint-Germain-des-Prés and table reservations are a rarity. Perhaps BPI could use a little Ralph know-how to get things kicking again. Or maybe just a consult with Danny Meyer’s Union Square Hospitality Group (Ralph went this route for his new Parisian outpost).

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Bill and Hillary Clinton The Clintons are rumored to be moving to Bedford Hills, and Bill’s gonna need a hangout and home-away-from home in town for poker playing and cigar smoking. The rustic decor of the BPI has a masculine touch, and hey, Bill kind of resembles Richard Gere with his gray hair and boyish charm.

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Tom Florio The senior vice president left Conde Nast to pursue other opportunities…but has yet to announce what these ‘opportunities’ entail. Maybe something local?

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Chevy Chase The ex-SNL star and longtime Bedford resident has recently gone primetime on NBC’s Community alongside E! funnyman Joel McHale, and he worked as a waiter while struggling to cut it in showbiz. He’s got popularity and experience going for him.

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Glenn Close With the future of FX fan favorite Damages uncertain, who knows, Close may be looking for a side gig.