Oh hey, would you get a load of that. Seems I overdrew my Chase Secure Preferred Ultimate Mobile Rewards Blueprint Premium Slate Paperless checking account the other night—should have realized the charge from that one restaurant hadn’t gone through yet. I’d better be more careful next time. Or I can just keep blithely overspending and automatically charging my credit card $50 to make up the difference every time. It’s like free money, you guys!
The truth is, I’ve got a big fat paycheck waiting for deposit right now. Yep, right over there on the dresser. I could take that bad boy to my local branch and be right back in the black, except I was never in the red. Everything fixed itself! Check out my running balance: at exactly 5:27 this morning, as I thrashed sleeplessly in my bed, it was all taken care of. No phone calls, no passwords, no problems. Almost as if I have no real control over my money once it disappears into the virtual labyrinths of the banking industry. And why should I? It sounds like a bit of a headache, really.
No, I’ve got more important things to do, and to buy. Some new jeans would be nice. Or another dinner at that French restaurant that was responsible for the delayed charge in the first place; their asparagus appetizer was delicious, if a bit pricey. To get there I’ll walk down the street where guys are selling used books and probably toss some cash their way as well. This extra $50 is seriously burning a hole in my pocket.
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