Even Jane Fonda Hated Seth MacFarlane’s Boob Song

I completely missed Jane Fonda’s recap of the Oscars, mostly because I (foolishly) do not keep up with her personal blog. (It’s not on Tumblr. What, am I supposed to, like, go to it?) She sung the praises of many of the talented women at the telecast, particularly Charlize Theron who pulled her ballroom dancing skills out of nowhere. "Is there anything that beautiful creature can’t do?!" Fonda wrote. But she was not too pleased, unsurprisingly, with Seth MacFarlane’s jokes, particularly the boob song. "[W]hy not list all the penises we’ve seen?" she said. "Waaaay too much stuff about women and bodies, as though that’s what defines us." I think she’s being pretty kind to MacFarlane, who Jane Fonda could certainly eat for breakfast any damn day of the week.

[via Jane Fonda / CBS]

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Halle, Charlize, Adele: The Hot Damns of This Year’s Oscars

We made it! Awards season is officially over, and what a season it was. From vampire lips and salamanders to debate-rousing dresses, stars tried everything and anything to stand out on the red carpet. Although last night’s 85th Annual Academy Awards saw the safest sartorial statements, there were a few serious fashion moments that kept me from zoning out during the three-plus hour program. From Charlize Theron’s minimalist magic to Adele’s unparalleled perfection, see who aced it after the jump.

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Best Embodiment of Heaven: Charlize Theron
Respect. Charlize with a pixie cut wearing a Dior Haute Couture white silk bustier dress with embroidered detailing on the peplum does things to me.

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Best Metropolis Revival: Halle Berry
Because only Halle could make a Versace dress reminscent of a ridiculously cool 1927’s sci-film look ridiculously sexy.

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Best IDGAF (I Don’t Give A Fuck) Train: Jennifer Lawrence
Just like her pseudo wardrobe malfunction dress from this year’s SAG Awards, the Silver Linings Playbook star opted for a conversation-starting look that had people tripping over their words (and eventually made her trip on stage when she won for Best Actress).

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Best IDFAF Train with Feathers: Amy Adams
Amy gladly accepted J Law’s crazy train challenge and added feathers. This Oscar de la Renta number was freakin’ fierce. 

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Best ‘Beyonce, Who?’ Moment: Adele
That flowing hair. That airbrushed makeup. That Burberry dress. THAT VOICE. Seriously: Beyonce, who?

Photos via Getty

A Brief Assessment of the Disney Options on Netflix Instant

In a move that was hailed as a “game-changer” and a company saving grace and probably some other hyperbolic PR-type language, and much to the delight of subscribers nostalgic for a lost youth, Netflix will begin streaming Disney movies on its Instant Watch service. The bulk will be available in 2016, but a handful of titles are already available for your hung-over viewing or emergency activities if you ever find yourself in charge of a bunch of kids for a prolonged amount of time. But is it enough to get hyped about now?

At least two-thirds of the “Disney” page on Netflix Instant consists of the tween films and TV-to-feature-length adaptations that I know absolutely nothing about and therefore cannot assess, which makes sense because this decision was clearly made for Disney’s actual demographic and not young professionals in deep nostalgia K-holes. There’s also a pretty large collection of Air Bud sequels (and yet, not the original): Seventh Inning Fetch, World Pup, Air Bud Spikes Back—did you even know they made an Air Bud sequel about volleyball? Because they did. And you can watch it, and if you pitch it to the right Internet content place and make GIFs of it, they will probably pay you money to do that. Sequels make up the bulk of the collection, actually—you’ll find The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars, but not The Brave Little Toaster

“But what about the films of my youth?” you ask. “What about the ones with the songs I can still recite?” The handful of Disney Vault-grade animated features mostly predate that hot streak the studio had in the early ‘90s, so you’ve got The Rescuers Down Under (but not The Rescuers), Pocahontas, The Fox and the Hound and The Great Mouse Detective, which features Vincent Price as an evil rat professor, so that’s pretty alright.

The selection of the old-school ‘classics’ is slim, with the still lovely and frightening Alice and Wonderland, The Aristocats (not to be confused with a less safe for children movie) and Dumbo, which will launch many a good, cathartic cry-fest for old time’s sake, at least among people who can watch the movie without being bothered by all the insane and now super obvious cartoon racism happening. Outside of the “traditional” Disney animated sphere, the most exciting options are The Nightmare Before Christmas (at least among your ex-Hot Topic-goth classmates), the pretty-underrated James and the Giant Peach and The Muppet Movie.

Of course, if you’re in the mood for something of more mature taste less nostalgia-happy, the Netflix Instant ‘recently added’ section includes other things worth watching that aren’t from the Walt Disney animation house. If live-action nostalgia is more of your thing, Flashdance, Half-Baked and Bad Boys II (because in this day and age, I’m not going to be totally surprised if someone is nostalgic for a movie that was released less than a decade ago), and more recent critical favorites like The King’s Speech and the underappreciated Young Adult. And O.B.A.M. Nude, which of all the bizarre presidential slam jobs that made it into actual film festivals, seems just about the most bizarre, so if you’re one of those people that searches subscription film-streaming sites for movies that destroyed political careers, here you go. 

Daniel Radcliffe In Slow Club’s “Beginners” and Other Celebrities in Music Videos

After Shia LaBoeuf bared all for Sigur Ros yesterday, Daniel Radcliffe is the latest movie star to feature in a music video. In the clip for folk-pop duo Slow Club’s typically gorgeous track “Beginners,” Radcliffe has a dramatic breakdown in a pub, all filmed in one take. (If the teeth-gnashing and fist-shaking weren’t clear enough, it’s obvious that his character is in a bad place from his Hawaiian shirt.) Watch “Beginners” below, and check out some other music videos with celebrity guests.

Slow Club – “Beginners”

 

The Shoes – “Time To Dance”
Jake Gyllenhaal channels Patrick Bateman as he goes on a killing spree soundtracked by the French dance-pop duo the Shoes.

The Apples In Stereo – “Dance Floor”
This isn’t another Daniel Radcliffe clip; it’s Elijah Wood being transported through time and space to meet indie-pop stalwarts the Apples in Stereo.

Brandon Flowers – “Crossfire”
Killers frontman Brandon Flowers never did anything on a small scale, so it made sense to have Charlize Theron play a warrior on a mission in this video for one of his solo songs. Her?

Father John Misty – “Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings”
Aubrey Plaza gets angry, bites/throws things, and goes through some sort of party/nightmare hybrid.

Vampire Weekend – “Giving Up The Gun”
This earlier foray sees Jake Gyllenhaal brandishing a tennis racket in one hand and a handle of whiskey in the other. The video also features cameos from RZA, Lil Jon, and Joe Jonas.

First-Time Director Rupert Sanders Takes the Helm of ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’

If you pour over Rupert Sanders’s rich collection of commercial work, you’ll see a consistent theme of art and imagination embattled with commerce. It also proves he can tell just about any type of story—from the jaw-dropping futuristic war scene from Halo ODST to the short, comically charming fable for Monster.com to bringing delicate, artful beauty to the creation a slogan for Absolut Vodka. So while film geeks and other trade-perusing industry outsiders may have been collectively scratching their noggins when Universal brought in Sanders to direct the epic Snow White and the Huntsmen as his first feature, those on the inside like producer Joe Roth and top Universal brass were betting it was the young, soft-spoken Londoner’s time to finally put his wide array of advertorial proven talents together. The gamble clearly paid-off: the reimagined Snow White epic opened at number one at the box office, made a cool hundred mill worldwide over its first weekend in release and generally thrilled audiences by reinventing a tale we had all grown up knowing by heart, yet somehow making it feel new.

Sanders now finds himself on the less traveled by track of names like David Fincher and Michael Bay—top tier commercial directors who have risen to the top of the feature world, albeit in vastly different styles. What a difference a weekend in Hollywood makes. Sanders chatted with me a day after his debut film’s successful opening about the experience of making Snow White, making grown men look like dwarves, Charlize Theron and where, exactly, he comes from.

Congratulations on the film. Were you nervous last week?
Friday was a very tense day. I’m glad it’s over. I haven’t gotten a patch or anything to say I’ve accomplished something. I’m just happy people went to see it and the response has been good. You can’t plan for a successful film; you just have to try and do what inspires you and is close to your heart and see what happens.

Let’s start with how you became a director, since most people have no idea who you are.
Hello, I’m Rupert. I’m from London. I went to an art college called St. Martins. I’d grown up loving films—David Lynch films, David Lean films—but I never thought of myself as doing that. I wasn’t shooting cardboard cutout characters with my dad’s Super 8 since I was 4. It wasn’t till I came to America after college and ended up on a set with a guy named Tony Kaye.

Right, he directed American History X.
He was still shooting it at the time, but I was working with him on a Tag Hauer commercial. He was dangling out of a helicopter shooting a MIG jet flying 12 feet above a Formula One racecar racing around a track in Palm Springs. It was intoxicating. I remember watching him and saying to myself, “I want to be that dude.”

So he was an inspiration of sorts?
Yeah, he kind of took me under his wing. He showed me the mayhem of filmmaking—that he was using typography and tracking vehicles and poetry and weird casting and artistic people from all walks of life bundled together in this sort of massive circus. So I went back to England, wrote a commercial for Sony Walkman, shot it for about 600 quid over a weekend and then sold it to them for 35,000 pounds. That was the start of it.

Had you made any narrative films before this one?
I’d done a couple of shorts, one called Black Hole based on Charles Burns’s graphic novel of the same name, and a couple long form commercials that were about three minutes and were mostly narrative. But no, technically, this was my first long-form piece.

Was it daunting at all? I mean, was there that moment when the dog catches the car and it’s like, “Now what?”
Every day was a challenge. Dealing with eight dwarves, dealing with big armies, complicated locations and sets. The thing is though, you don’t really have time to sit around and be nervous about it. You just have to keep going.

How different was the script from the film we are all seeing now?
Quite different. What was great about Evan’s [Daugherty] first draft was the character of the huntsman, the vampiric queen and the escaping Snow White, but it had a different lighter tone. I wanted to include some of the classic iconic images from the original Grimm story. However, the script was constantly evolving and changing while we were shooting. The tone is what changed more then anything else.

Did a lot hit the cutting room floor?
Not really. I’m quite honored most of my original cut stayed intact.

Did you have to walk a fine line with the violence in the film, considering there is so much throughout?
If you see someone stabbed, you don’t need spurting arteries. Less is more. You know what’s happened, as the audience. Hitchcock did it so well by showing the implication of violence and the audience puts their own perception of fear into it.

How did you pull off making grown men look like dwarves?
A lot of random techniques really. Each shot was different. The toughest part was getting those eight great actors to remain still, as they all wanted to move and express themselves in each scene. So we were walking this fine line of making them appear to be dwarves and not limiting their full performance. That—and the troll, I suppose—were the toughest parts of the film.

How was it working with Charlize Theron, especially with how dark and intense she was as the Evil Queen?
She’s actually incredibly funny and ballsy, not nearly as intense as she may seem onscreen. She’s got a bit of a dirty mind and was constantly joking around.

Not only was this a monumental first film but you had a competing project out there at the same time (Mirror, Mirror). Was there any concern about this?
Yeah, there was concern the whole time. At least until [producer] Joe [Roth] pulled me aside and said, “Just make your film. Don’t worry about anyone else or anything else. Just make your film.” So that’s what I did.

Movies Opening This Weekend In Order Of How Much We Like Their Trailers

Some people judge a movie based on reviews, other will go see something just because it features a favorite actor. Here, we’re judging this weekend’s offerings based solely on what we see in the trailers and ranking them accordingly.

Snow White And The Huntsman: God bless a summer blockbuster filled with swords and evil queens and a bunch of creepy birds. There is nothing about this movie that doesn’t look amazing.

The Loved Ones: A demented horror movie about a sad, weird girl and her prom? Been there! But this trailer seems to offer something more: serious violence, a high creep factor and a break from hostage/torture porn that had made horror movies borderline unwatchable. Well done!

High School: Most stoner comedies are somewhat lacking and since your own high wore off during those endless coming attractions they’re a total drag. This one, about kids who get their entire school stoned in order to make sure nobody passes a drug test, actually looks funny, no matter what condition you go in.

Piranha 3DD: For a movie about a fishy bloodbath at a waterpark—easy sell, right?—this trailer is way too long. Sure, you want to let everyone know you emptied your pockets to get Hasselhoff, but something shorter and snappier—some might say with more teeth—would have been a lot more appealing.

Battlefield America: This movie is most likely dreadful, but the trailer is a delight. A bunch of tiny little breakdancing children all talking trash to one another and competing in dance battles for some sort of unknown prize or glory that comes with being the fanciest dancer? Yes please.

6 Month Rule: This player-gets-played movie looks pretty bottom of the barrel. We’ve seen this sort of thing over and over again. What we haven’t seen is Dave Fucking Foley looking like Santa’s dentist brother. Now that is some shit.

A History of ‘Prometheus’ Trailers

Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, an Aliens precursor, won’t be out until Friday, but anticipation is building—in no small part thanks to bits and pieces released on the web. Today’s tidbit is one of the most interesting of them all. A two-minute featurette has dropped explaining how the film’s namesake spaceship was designed.

Featuring interviews with production designers, the films writers and stars like Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender, the clip reveals not only the thinking behind the way the spaceship was designed, but also shows off some never-before-seen footage of the film.

This isn’t the first bit that Scott and his band of merry moviemaker have dropped for us, however. There was the first trailer, which dropped last year and got tongues wagging immediately about the still-far-off film.

There was the second, twice as long trailer that hit in March.

The international trailer also dropped in March.

And a series of featurettes and cast interviews has been trickling out slowly ever since, all adding up to what filmmakers surely hope is a huge, Avengers-style opening weekend. Considering what we’ve seen so far, it’s not at all impossible.

Your Essential ‘Snow White’ Syllabus

This Friday, Snow White and the Huntsman hits theaters. It’s the second attempt to resurrect the fairy tale this year. The first one sucked balls. Like any fairytale, this one can be read on many levels. To help you prepare for the release on Friday, we’ve prepared a syllabus of some films to watch and books to read to gird yourself for Charlize vs. Kristen.

The Dark Crystal
Jim Henson and Frank Oz’s 1982 puppet fantasy epic prefigures the Evil Queen’s life-sucking obsession with youth and beauty. More directly, the ability of the Skeksis to utilize the youth and beauty of the Gelflings is a clear precursor.

Young Adult
OMG, Charlize Theron has played a bitch before. Also see: Monster.

The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell
This great series between mythologist Joseph Campbell and journalist Bill Moyers aired on PBS in the 1988 and explores the archtypes inherent in modern and ancient myths. Understand how Star Wars, Jesus, Buddha, and James Joyce have to do with Kristen Stewart (a lot!).

The Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim
Using Freudian analysis, the Austrian-American psychologist explains how fairy tales reflect repressed sexual desire and what that has to do with Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart (a lot!).

Charlize Theron and the History of Evil Queens

Long before the Julia Roberts stinker Mirror, Mirror came and went, there was talk about that movie and the forthcoming Snow White and the Huntsman and which witch—Roberts’ evil queen or that of Huntsman’s Charlize Theron—would be worst. Talk no more, folks. Today a clip from Huntsman, featuring Theron not-so-gently asking her loyal servant, played by everyhunk Chris Hemsworth, to go into some haunted-ass woods and hunt down Snow White so the queen can eat her heart already.

But what we’re seeing from Theron, while pretty good considering our recent smattering of evil queens, isn’t without precedent. No, there have been evil queens before. And they’ve been bad. Really bad. Like the Wicked Queen from Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Or Mary, Queen of Scots, whose bloody reign stretched across Europe and gave Vanessa Redgrave a meaty role to play.

There was Dame Judi Dench as the ultimate bad girl, even if she was royal only briefly, Lady MacBeth.

Pinks Flamingos’ Babs Johnson might not live in a castle, but Divine was sure one killer queen. And you don’t get much more evil than Babs.