Ever Wondered What Cate Blanchett Would Look Like as an Orgasming Spider? Here’s Your Answer

In Del Kathryn Barton’s new short film, RED, Cate Blanchett plays – you guessed it – a Red Back Spider who mates with and then devours her lover. Fun stuff, huh?

The film took three years to make, and is inspired by the Australian arachnid’s deadly form of fornication, in which the male spider is eaten alive after sex. Blanchett was chosen for her “immense power,” Barton tells ABC News. “With someone like Cate Blanchett I was really actually determined to under-direct her. You give her the hooks and honestly what she gave to the performances that day, I could have never have asked that of her, she was incredibly generous in that way.”

Blanchett is joined onscreen by the actor Alex Russell and dancer Charmene Yap. Footage of the humans is spliced with footage of the real Red Back’s mating ritual.

RED will screen at the Art Gallery of South Australia in Adelaide through April 30. Check out the trailer below:

See an Unraveled Cate Blanchett in a New Clip From Woody Allen’s ‘Blue Jasmine’

After finding myself unsettlingly disappointed with Woody Allen’s To Rome With Love last summer, I thought it best to keep my anticipation for this next feature at bay. However, with his latest film Blue Jasmine—which premieres in just two weeks—it looks as though I may be able to dispel my fears and start counting down the seconds until I head to the cinema and get lost in the very particular world only Allen knows how to create.

And thanks to EW, we now have a first clip from the feature which highlights the film’s star Cate Blanchett in a desolate moment that makes you ache to see the film just for the brilliant perfomance she delivers (but let’s be real she could read the phone book and still be astoundingly brilliant). And as the story of a well-kept housewife who moves to San Francisco to live with her sister after her life gets turned inside out, the sprawling cast also includes Alec Baldwin, Andrew Dice Clay, Louis CK, Bobby Cannavale—to name a few. 
 
There’s no advantage to ageing. You don’t get wiser, you don’t get more mellow, you don’t see life in a more glowing way. You have to fight your body decaying, and you have less options," Allen said to the Guardian. Going on to say:
The only thing you can do is what you did when you were 20 – because you’re always walking with an abyss right under your feet; they can be hoisting a piano on Park Avenue and drop it on your head when you’re 20 – which is to distract yourself. Getting involved in a movie [occupies] all my anxiety: did I write a good scene for Cate Blanchett? If I wasn’t concentrated on that, I’d be thinking of larger issues. And those are unresolvable, and you’re checkmated whichever way you go.
So with the film’s premiere on July 26th, check out the first clip from the film HERE and start scheduling your nightly Woody Allen retrospective now.

Watch the First Trailer for Woody Allen’s ‘Blue Jasmine’

In a truly saddening turn of events, Woody Allen’s To Rome With Love fell as my second least favorite film of 2012. But with his annual summer picture premiering right on schedule, it appears this time around things will be quite different. And after bypassing a debut at Sundance or Cannes this year, Allen’s latest feature, the Cate Blanchett led-Blue Jasmine already looks much rich and lively a film than To Rome. With a supporting cast that includes everyone from Andrew Dice Clay and Louis CK to Alec Baldwin and  Bobby Cannavale, the film tells the story of  a well-kept New York City housewife who moves to San Francisco to live with her sister after enduring an acute life crisis.

Speaking to the nature of filmmaking with the Guardian, Allen said:
"It’s a bad business. It’s a confirmation that the anxieties and terrors I’ve had all my life were accurate. There’s no advantage to ageing. You don’t get wiser, you don’t get more mellow, you don’t see life in a more glowing way. You have to fight your body decaying, and you have less options." In 46 years as a director, he hasn’t budged on his position that there’s only one response: watch a basketball game, play the clarinet. "The only thing you can do is what you did when you were 20 – because you’re always walking with an abyss right under your feet; they can be hoisting a piano on Park Avenue and drop it on your head when you’re 20 – which is to distract yourself. Getting involved in a movie [occupies] all my anxiety: did I write a good scene for Cate Blanchett? If I wasn’t concentrated on that, I’d be thinking of larger issues. And those are unresolvable, and you’re checkmated whichever way you go."
And now, the first trailer for the film has emerged and as Allen claims this to be a "serious drama," our hopes have suddenly sprung. Get excited and enjoy.
 

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See the First Official Still From Terrence Malick’s ‘Knight of Cups’

Well, after To the Wonder premiered last month to a devise set of reviews—either raving that it was a symphonic ballet of emotion and beauty or a shallow and two-dimension story that looked stunning but lacked feeling—we’re all wondering just where the other features he’s been working on will fall on the Terrence Malick scale of greatness. And next up, before his Austin-set music film is Knight of Cups, starring Christian Bale, Natalie Portman, and Cate Blanchett. And with the Cannes Film Festival kicking off today, foreign distributor’s will get their first taste of the film when FilmNation debuts footage at the festival. But for us, The Hollywood Reporter has now released the first time from the film—and it’s truly shocking.

I jest. No, the image features Bale and Portman in a wistful moment barefoot in shallow water, which, has certainly become typical Malick fare. But hey, I’m not complaining. Although little is known about the picture, the film is apparently about "celebrity, temptation, and excess," I’m sure with a dash of ethereal meditation of the divine presence of love and virtue. Currently in post-production, Isabel Lucas, Antonio Banderas, Wes Bentley, Imogen Poots, Freida Pinto, Teresa Palmer, Ryan O’Neal, Jason Clarke, Joel Kinnaman have all been featured in set photos yet will doubtfully all make the final cut. Lest we forget Michael Shannon spent a day grazing through wheat fields with Ben Affleck shooting To the Wonder.
 
Knight of Cups is said to be "more accessible" than the last, which doesn’t mean that it will be any better or worse or less beautiful but with To the Wonder as his most abstract poem of images yet, perhaps he felt the need to reign it in a little with this one. Either way, stay tuned for more news on the film as Cannes begins and more starts rolling in. 
 
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Giorgio Armani Fragrance Lands Cate Blanchett for $10 Million (No Foolin’)

Hey, Brad Pitt: Chanel paid you $7 million for that Chanel No. 5 campaign? That’s cute. Cate Blanchett, your Benjamin Button co-star, has just scored a Giorgio Armani fragrances deal for a whopping $10 million.

The New York Post reveals that the A-lister and Armani muse "is soon to shoot a series of glossy ads for the fashion house’s fragrances. Although she already has a beauty deal as the face of skincare brand SK-II, this is, surprisingly, Blanchett’s first fragrance partnership.

When asked why Blanchett was selected for the crazy-expensive gig, Mr. Armani said that she "epitomizes the woman for whom I design." So, if you’re a very wealthy, very tall, very blonde, fashion-forward Australian actress who’s best friends with Nicole Kidman, this is for you.

See New Stills From Woody Allen’s ‘Blue Jasmine’

Beloved auteur and neurotic personality Woody Allen has an oeuvre of films riddled with classics. Throughout my life there have few films that meant more to me than his early wonders, but after my utter distaste for last summer’s To Rome With Love, I was pretty heartbroken. But of course, the man never stops churning them out, and after almost fifty years of filmmaking he charges forward with a speed like no one else. And this summer, we’ll see the release of his latest ensemble comedy Blue Jasmine

Thanks to Sony Pictures Classics, the film starring Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Peter Sarsgaard, Sally Hawkins, and Louis C.K. (yay!) will be making its way into theaters on July 26th. Described as "the story of the final stages of an acute crisis and a life of a fashionable New York housewife," the new stills from the picture reveal a pretty suave looking Baldwin alongside said housewife Blanchett, but are sadly sans Louis. 

Check out the photos below.

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Linkage: Taylor Swift and Harry Styles Are Dunzo, Woody Allen’s New Flick Gets a Title

Taylor Swift and One Direction’s Harry Styles have broken up. I, for one, haven’t been this devastated since Taylor Swift broke up with that Kennedy kid. Alas, at least this means Swift will have enough material for at least three songs on her next album. (I’m guessing she’s been drafting some lyrics on that boat.) I’m hoping at least one of them is about Styles’s second set of nipples. (It’d be a good dig in a song called “I Could Never Love You (As Much As You Love Yourself)”) [NY Daily News, Gawker]

Woody Allen’s latest project has a name: Blue Jasmine. It also has a million people in it, including Alec Baldwin, Cate Blanchett, Bobby Cannavale, Louis C.K., Andrew Dice Clay, Sally Hawkins, and Peter Sarsgaard. Here’s hoping Andrew Dice Clay plays the regular Woody Allen doppelganger. [Splitsider]

Rapper / weed enthusiast The Game took a break from scarfing down peanut butter-covered Fritos and DiGiorno pizzas to make some comments following Justin Bieber’s alleged marijuana use: “Let’s keep it real. There’s a lot of people in high positions…who smoke a little weed sometimes. I’m not saying it’s okay…but [Bieber] made a mistake.” I’m totally surprised that his statement wasn’t more to the point. [SOHH]

Last year, New York pizza joint L’Asso sent me a calendar featuring pizzas in sexy poses. (One included a pizza wearing assless chaps. I know it’s hard to picture, but just go with it.) It looks like someone else has figured out exactly what I’d like to put on my wall in 2013: a calendar featuring women covered in manure. [The Gloss]

“I chose Ellen as Jesus because of the incredibly positive impact she’s had on the masses. When she came out as gay on television her career took an unjust beating, and she rose form the ashes to become more powerful and well-liked than ever. Portia de Rossi was the easy choice as Mary Magdalene. The only other character I wanted to match up historically was Judas. Despite her status as a fictional character, I absolutely had to choose Shane McCutcheon from ‘The L Word’ as Judas because of her notoriously bad behavior in relationships.” Art, you guys. [HuffPo]

James Franco. Justin Bieber. This link placed here solely for SEO purposes. [Observer]

Bones is returning for a ninth season, which only makes me wonder if anyone can bother to explain to me what the hell Bones is about. [EW]

Brad Pitt has been banned from China, and Paris Hilton has been banned from Japan. Too bad I can’t ban them from my brain HA HA HA AM I RIGHT? [Flavorwire]

Apparently we should all be friends with Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia on Facebook. [Creeper Status]

Here’s a video of a dude falling off a skateboard. You know you need it today. [Hypervocal]

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First Look On the Set of Terrence Malick’s New Drama

Enigmatic director Terrence Malick is known for his signature style of filmmaking that unites sight and sound (and usually a wheat field during magic hour) to create something highly cinematic while being virtually dialogue-less (save some sweeping philosophical voiceovers). That, and the fact that his films are almost always made at least half a decade apart. At least until last year, that is, when he surprised everyone with the news that The Tree of Life was to be followed by not only To the Wonder but two other films to be rolled out in the next two years.

His latest effort, To the Wonder, premiered at Venice and Toronto to mixed reviews, and although the film is slated to star Rachel McAdams and Ben Affleck–the two providing the main image released for the film–apparently it’s ex-Bond girl, Olga Kurylenko, who garners most of the screen time. Dealing with themes of love and abandonment from God, it seems audiences are not digesting this one well, and U.S. distribution remains to be seen. His next drama, Knight of Cups, which is said to star Christian Bale, Natalie Portman, and Cate Blanchett, is currently in post-production with a new log line released that reveals the film as “a story of a man, temptations, celebrity, and excess.”  With a description that vague, we could assume he’s basing this off a Bret Easton Ellis novel. But whatever, there’s still more coming. Now that he’s got that one in the can, his next elusive project, previously titled Lawless, seems to be in full swing with Ryan Gosling and Rooney Mara in starring roles. 

Last fall, photos of Mara and Gosley frolicking around Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin, Texas, began circling around with buzz about another Malick picture in the works. And as one could deduce, those shots were tests for what is now known as Untitled Terrance Malick Project. The only word revealed on the film is that it involves “two intersecting love triangles," and is "a story of sexual obsession and betrayal set against the music scene in Austin, Texas.” Not too much can be gathered from these new on-set photos, but we can tell the film looks to feature bridges, puppies, Gosling behind the wheel (as usual), and Rooney Mara sans Lisbeth Salander harshness. Principal photography appears to be going swimmingly (and Terrence seems to be looking like he’s on a safari), but again, it’s Malick so, who really knows?

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Louis C.K., Cate Blanchett to Star in Next Woody Allen Film

Somewhere, in some bar far away from here, someone has won a very unlikely bet, or their weird fantasy movie lineup has indeed come true. Allen has announced that his next film, following the release of To Rome With Love on June 22nd, will feature a formidable cast with two comedians at the head: Louis C.K. and Andrew "Dice" Clay. Yes, you are reading this correctly. And yes, it rhymes. Granted, the two and their director all have quite different styles of humor, but that will make for a very interesting on-screen blend. 

Michael Emerson of LOST and Cate Blanchett will round out the starring roles, along with Alec Baldwin, Peter Sarsgaard, Sally Hawkins and Bobby Cannavale. Little else is known about the project, other than it will be filmed in New York and San Francisco, Allen’s first film in the Golden Gate City since Take The Money and Run

To Rome With Love, Allen’s next feature film and the third stop on his whimsical European fantasy vacation (after the Pénélope Cruz/ScarJo/Javier Bardem triangle Vicky Cristina Barcelona and last year’s acclaimed nostalgia trip Midnight In Paris), will hit theatres later this month. The film stars Allen, previous collaborator Cruz, Alec Badlwin, Roberto Benigni, Jesse Eisenberg and Greta Gerwig, the "Helen of Troy of Mumblecore." The film was previously known as Nero Fiddled, and before that, The Bop Decameron. Roll clip. 

And just for fun, an alway-relevant selection from Louis C.K. to get us in the mood for this next project: