Rob Lowe Returns To Lifetime For ‘Prosecuting Casey Anthony’

Does he have an IRS bill to pay off or something?

Because that’s the only explanation I have for why Parks & Recreation star Rob Lowe is appearing in his ANOTHER Lifetime original made-for-TV movie. Last year Lowe appeared in the titular role of Drew Peterson: Untouchable as the abusive creep who murders his own wife. Somehow, the Academy was not biting at that Oscar bait.

His next role ripped straight from the tabloids will be in Prosecuting Casey Anthony, which will debut on Lifetime on January 19. The made-for-TV movie stars Lowe as Jeff Ashton, a prosecutor who tries to get to the bottom of the alleged murder of toddler Caylee Anthony by her troubled young mom. The movie is based on a book by the same name written by Ashton. (Anthony was acquitted amidst controversy in July 2011.)

Whyever Rob Lowe didn’t appear in Liz & Dick, I don’t know. I can only assume it was a scheduling conflict.

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Morning Links: A&F Pays The Situation to Change His Shirt, Texas Gets ‘Justin Bieber Way’

● Abercrombie & Fitch is offering to pay Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino to not wear their merchandise. “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,” said the company of their proposed “Win-Win Situation.” [Speakeasy/WSJ] ● Television shrink Dr. Phil has won the sure-to-be-teary first interview with Casey Anthony’s parents. [Washington Post] ● Taylor Momsen has officially quit acting in order to make more time for her music, which is “pretty much all [she wants] to do” anyways. [Elle]

● Kim Kardashian’s bridesmaids will wear green, a color that’s calming, easy on the eyes. and symbolizes nature and . Also: jealousy. [People] ● Gerard Depardieu, one of France’s most celebrated actors, dropped trousers and urinated in front of an airplane full of passengers when the cabin crew refused to let him use the bathroom before takeoff. “Je veux pisser, je veux pisser,” he had warned. [NYP] ● 11-year-old “mayor for a day” Caroline Gonzalez made sure her first order of business was an important one: Renaming part of Forney, Texas’ Main St. after the important historical figure Justin Bieber. [E!] ● Drew Carey was forced — forced! — to cancel yesterday’s taping of The Price Is Right after he broke his collarbone during a morning run. He’s got the x-rays to prove it. [TMZ]

Afternoon Links: Casey Anthony Spotted, Ashton Kutcher Is a Billionaire

● The first Casey-Anthony-is-a-free-person pics have been taking as the tot mom went shopping in Ohio. Win the Superbowl, go to Disneyland! Get acquitted of murdering your daughter, go to Old Navy! [TMZ] ● Things are finally looking up for New Jersey! After having its reputation smeared by tanning oil, reports indicate that the Garden State might get its very own F1 race by 2013. [WSJ] ● The new full-length trailer for Moneyball, otherwise known as your last chance to see fat Jonah Hill, has hit the web [/Film]

● “Real-Life Ken Doll Gets Cast as Ken Doll” is the perfect headline for any story about the alleged casting of actor Trevor Donovan as Ken in the live-action Barbie movie. (There’s a live-action Barbie movie?) [Perez Hilton] ● When we first heard that Ted Danson joined the cast of the flagship CSI, the words “what in the fuck” came puking out of our mouths. It turns out the CSI overlords had a plan. The next season will apparently be funnier. Not David Caruso funny, either. Real funny.[Deadline] ● And finally, Ashton Kutcher will play an Internet billionaire with a broken heart on Two and a Half Men 2.0. That’s not bad, actually. [NY Times]

Which Struggling Actress Should Play Casey Anthony?

Whether you like it or not, a Casey Anthony movie is already in the works. Her blockbuster acquittal guaranteed it, and we’re looking at the Lifetime network as the likely culprit. The estrogen-wooing cable channel has already dramatized the murder sagas of Amanda Knox, Natalee Holloway, and most recently William and Kate, in which our dreams of bearing Prince William’s child were brutally murdered by the evil queen-to-be, Catherine. But onward to Ms. Anthony, who, in true TV movie fashion, must be portrayed by an actress whose career once burned bright, but has since dimmed under the weight of poor choices and audiences no longer giving a shit. So, who needs to call their agents like, now?

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Not only has JLoHew’s career been DOA since The Ghost Whisperer, but look at her. She is Casey Anthony. It’s true, she doesn’t have the soul of Lucifer swimming in her retinas, but that’s why they call it acting.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: This former box-office draw is one failed TV show away from her very own Lifetime movie. Ringer, her upcoming CW thriller, may or may not be that show, although the trailer does make it look intriguing in the same way a tub of Ben & Jerry’s looks intriguing. I know what you did last summer, Sarah… you lost the role of Casey Anthony to your old costar!

Megan Fox: A Lifetime movie might be a little premature for this once sought-after actress, but she’s a Passion Play away from making one a grim reality. Plus, they have so much in common. One sacrificed the biggest role of her career so she would no longer have to be objectified on screen, and the other sacrificed her daughter to get drunk. So same thing.

Kristen Bell: With her movie career on the brink of fizzle—who knew When in Rome would do so much damage?—Bell has already ventured into TV movie terrain with the upcoming House of Lies. (Come to think of it, that’s not a bad title for the Casey Anthony movie.) We’d hate to see Bell go down this road—such a likeable presence she is—but her good friend and costar (Heroes, Scream 4) Hayden Panettiere, who played Amanda Knox for the network, could easily talk her into it.

Lindsay Lohan: If there is an actress more perfect for the role than this, we dare you to find her. What’s that? You can’t? See, told you. And is there an actress on the planet that would feel more at home in a courtroom setting than Lohan? If acting is the art of drawing on personal experience, then Lohan would hit a home run with this role. There’s just one reason this will never happen: Lindsay Lohan needs people to like her again, and playing the most hated woman in America is probably the opposite way of achieving that.

Kreayshawn: Fine, not an actress, but still: Identical.

Morning Links: Outkast Readying New Album, Nicki Minaj’s Cousin Murdered in Brooklyn

● Impassioned scribbler Cy Twombly, who’s career “slyly subverted Abstract Expressionism, toyed briefly with Minimalism, seemed barely to acknowledge Pop Art and anticipated some of the concerns of Conceptualism,” lost his battle with cancer yesterday at the age of 83. [NYT] ● “WHAT!!!!???!!!! CASEY ANTHONY FOUND NOT GUILTY!!!! I AM SPEECHLESS!!!” tweeted Kim Kardashian as the Casey Anthony verdict was read, recalling for many the role her father played in O.J. Simpson’s acquittal. [KimKardashian/Twitter] ● Someone who knows says that, along with solo projects from Big Boi and Three Stacks, Outkast is gearing up to release a new album next year. Even one of the three would be a win. [HipHopWired]

● Joseph Gordon-Levitt is working alongside It Books, a HarperCollins imprint, to produce a series of books featuring short stories submitted by the public called The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories. [NYDN] ● Nicki Minaj was left devastated by the death of her cousin, Nicholas Telemanque, who was shot outside his home in Brooklyn. [RS] ● Five-year-old Kingston Rossdale looks extra-fly with his new blue mohawk. [Us]