Cameron Diaz is All Up in the Couture Shows This Season

While the usual suspects make the front-row rounds in Paris for the haute couture shows this week, there’s one celebrity that has surprisingly snuck into the high-fashion mix: Cameron Diaz. Today the bronzer than normal starlet has already hit the Aterlier Versace show with fellow actress Diane Kruger, and was just spotted rubbing elbows with the likes of Bar Rafaeli and Karlie Kloss (pictured) at the Christian Dior show. Is this her new thing?

It’s no surprise that while others have to work their way to be seated in the front row, Diaz need only show up to make it there, especially since designers love a star power moment. We wonder if Diaz will score an extremely limited seat at the highly anticipated Chanel couture show, given that Kruger is a Karl Lagerfeld favorite. 

Nobody Makes Cormac McCarthy Revise

Okay, so, wow: I don’t think any of us expected a Cormac McCarthy-penned, Ridley Scott-directed, Bardem-and-Fassbender-and-Pitt-and-Cruz-and-Diaz-starring film like The Counselor to be quite so stupid. I mean sure, Scott may not have directed an interesting movie since Hannibal, but what was going on with that script, Cormac? It was almost like he took one pass at the thing and washed his hands of the entire project. Did that grizzled old bastard novelist totally punk Hollywood on this one?

With a narrative so undercooked but also this pompous and prosey (which, to be fair, is how everything tends to sound in McCarthy books like Blood Meridian and Outer Dark, but those are stylized Gothic period pieces set centuries ago, not contemporary narco-violence thrillers), you might assume that the screenwriter here in fact put too much into the story, word-wise; didn’t let the characters breathe. And it’s true that the actors are often struggling to make these baroque lines sound at all plausible—to say nothing about the scene where Cameron Diaz has sex with a car. But I have a different theory.

You see, McCarthy wasn’t always an entity in the land of movies. Suddenly, however, the Coen brothers blew us away with an adaptation of No Country For Old Men, and people were sufficiently horrified by a film version of The Road—a post-apocalyptic novel, mind you, that McCarthy was inspired to write because of his own new very young son. Seeing that he had a chance to score another jackpot for his family before he died, he signed on to write The Counselor, then handed over a slim treatment sprinkled with a bunch of crummy dialogue he’d cut out of his superior fiction over the years.

“Brilliant!” said everyone at the studio. “We can’t wait to see the next draft.” To which McCarthy no doubt replied: “What next draft?” while flying away in a private jet made of money, back toward his desert ranch or wherever it is he holes up and ignores everyone not worth his time. Well, Cormac, I have to admit, I fell for your name, hook, line, and sinker; I paid a theater to see a movie that would’ve been better screened on an 18-hour flight cramped in coach or in a morphine haze on a hospital bed. I’m not even mad, really—I just aspire to one day give as few fucks as you do. Bravo.


Morning Links: Russell Simmons Forges On in His Battle With Lowes; Diddy & Cameron Diaz an Item?

● Russell Simmons has thrown money into his fight with Lowe’s, who pulled ads from TLC’s new series All-American Muslim citing  "concerned" and "alienated" viewers, by buying out the show’s remaining ad time next week. "The show is now sold out! keep your money @lowes and we will keep ours," he tweeted. [Huff Post]

Star Trek actor George Takei is asking Trek and Star Wars fans to find "star peace," align together against the true evil (or, as he makes it sound, truly boring), Twilight. [NME]

● Jessica Simpson’s baby sent "big crocodile tears" streaming down her face when it "did a flip or something." [People]

● Britney Spears keeps up with Britney Spears news much like we all do by reading OK! Magazine at the airport! [TMZ]

● Their reps claim they are "just friends," but Diddy and Cameron Diaz were caught kissing and "being very affectionate" in the club the other night. Is love a-blooming? [Page Six]

● Gucci Mane is out of jail again, and he’s feeling great. “It was a time for me to sit back and just refocus the whole way I do things, man,” he told XXL, adding that, "This is the last time I think I’ll ever be in jail." [XXL]

What to Expect From ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’

New Year’s Eve comes out today, which means it’s time to look at the next ensemble comedy featuring so many stars that you’ll be convinced that someone hit you on the head with a skillet. In fact, it’s probably best to watch the trailer for What to Expect When You’re Expecting after slamming your head repeatedly against a wall or on your desk, because this one is a doozy.

This has it all, doesn’t it? Crying pregnant ladies! Cameron Diaz with a mysterious accent! The phrase "dude’s group"! Cool dads! Shirtless dads! And, unfortunately, not a lot of laughs! But maybe there will be some gems not seen in the trailer. I’m betting there are some hilarious poop jokes, and I’m definitely hoping a baby pees in Chase Crawford’s mouth.

I guess if you’re the kind of person who laughs at babies falling down and have exhausted your YouTube searches, then Crazy Comedy About Having Kids Starring Everyone You’ve Ever Heard of (and a Few More You Haven’t) is right up your alley. Let’s hope this Hollywood adaptation of the book ushers in a slew of other popular movies based on self-help tomes. Fingers crossed for Penny Marshall’s Chicken Soup for the Soul in 2013! 

Morning Links: Mila Kunis’ Hacked Phone Reveals Timberlake Pics, Jay-Z’s Secret Son

● Scarlett Johansson wasn’t the only one baring all yesterday. Apparently Mila Kunis’ phone was also hacked, and on it were several “seductive” pics of her avowed not-boyfriend Justin Timberlake. There’s even one where he’s got a pair of pink panties on his head. Sounds like love! [TMZ] ● Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz are done for good. According to Page Six, all their dates were at the gym and he’s been trying to get out of the relationship “for weeks.” [Page Six] ● Guys, White House crashing Real Housewife Michaele Salahi was totally not kidnapped; she just forgot to tell her husband that she has a new boyfriend. And that he is the guitarist from Journey… [TMZ]

● Kanye West’s one part puppet, one part Kim Kardashian, several parts ugly sweater Comedy Central show looks so hilarious, though it never made it to air. This behind-the-scenes clip eases the pain. [PopDust] ● Did Jay-Z have a secret baby nine years ago with a model from Trinidad? Probably! But he already gave her $1 million and Beyoncé knows, too. [DailyMail] ● Making amends with Rick Ross is as simple as buying his pal DJ Khaled “a couple steaks.” At least for Kreayshawn it was. Who says diplomacy can’t work? [UpRoxx]

Cameron Diaz: Mouthpiece of the Patriarchy

Cameron Diaz, now starring in Bad Teacher, has some real-life opinions about education. They’re a bit retro. For example, instead of algebra, Diaz feels students should be taught home economics. “Kids” should be taught how to cook and clean, because school is clearly the only place to learn those things. Her use of the word “kids” in the following quote is naively gender-neutral, since girls were usually the ones to take home ec, while boys took shop, according to my mother.

“I like to cook and I like to clean so I think I would be a pretty good home economics teacher. But they don’t teach kids that anymore. They don’t teach stuff that you can actually use in life. You learn stuff like algebra instead. So now we eat out all the time and don’t know how to look after ourselves. It’s all wrong.”

She’s right about the algebra thing. When’s the last time you dealt with an algebra problem in real life? Other than that, though, isn’t home ec generally regarded as an outdated institution? Training little girls to be housewives? Which isn’t to say we shouldn’t all learn to “look after ourselves” — but still. (Also, what does Cameron Diaz, a Hollywood actress, know about looking after herself? She presumably has cooks and trainers and the like.)

And this comes only a few days after the world received Cameron Diaz’s opinions on what women’s bodies should look like: according to her, the perfect breast should fit inside a champagne glass. “Many women think you need large breasts, but I’m the living proof that you can go far with small ones,” she said. And all this time I thought that small-breasted women could never succeed! Thanks, Cameron Diaz.

Tom Lennon on ‘Bad Teacher,’ Making Cameron Diaz Laugh, & the Collapse of The State

Disclaimer: If you’re planning on seeing Bad Teacher this weekend, that movie with the non-awkward Cameron Diaz-Justin Timberlake sex scene, you will see Tom Lennon have sex with a photocopy machine. The R-rated comedy is just that kind of movie, and Tom Lennon is that kind of actor, a self-described creep-for-hire, who you’ve no doubt seen smarm his way through movies like I Love You, Man, Cedar Rapids, and Hot Tub Time Machine. But Lennon is probably best-known for his membership in one of sketch comedy’s most storied groups, the gone-too-soon The State, and as a co-creator of the Comedy Central cop series Reno 911! We caught up with the actor and screenwriter at the Bad Teacher press day to discuss what it feels like to make Cameron Diaz laugh, the secret to being a successful writer, and how YouTube changed the sketch comedy game.

How many days did you work on Bad Teacher? My total work was 5 days. As you noticed, I was the supporting character. I’m probably the highlight of the film. I feel like I’m putting words in your mouth when I say it, but I’m probably the highlight of the movie.

By the time the movie reaches the halfway point and you hadn’t made an appearance, I started to wonder. Yes, I’m not on for a long fucking time, and even then I don’t do that much. That’s the art of my role in films. Don’t be on that much, and then don’t do hardly anything. And then take my clothes off. But that’s what happens a lot of the times when you are a character actor. You come in out of nowhere, see a whole established cast and crew, and they all like each other, and then you [makes fart sound], and take your pants off, and kinda dick around.

So you see yourself as a character actor? Yes, well this is not how I see myself, but I am well aware of how the world sees me. You get really busy in life when you figure out how people perceive you, and for me, as soon as you get over the “I’m Justin Timberlake” thing, and you realize you are not, as soon as you realize that Justin Timberlake is Justin Timberlake and you are the creepy dude who gets drugged and then fucks photocopiers, things go really, really well.

Do you see yourself as an actor or a writer primarily? That is interesting. I have a kind of split personality. When I’m writing I see myself as a writer, when I’m acting I see myself as an actor. I really don’t see them as that different.

Do you have a compulsion to write? I do. I write pretty much every day. Well, you have to if you are going to do that as a job. If your going to write for the studios it cannot be like forcing yourself to write, you should feel like, Oh my God, why am I here sitting with these people when I could be somewhere writing? And as soon as you feel that it’s a good step.

So people who want to be a writer but need to force themselves to write won’t be writers? No, they will not be a writer. They just won’t. If you have to force yourself to find time to write, it’s not going to work out. If you don’t feel like writing, it’s never going to work out, I guarantee it. Hemingway did a lot of crazy shit. He was catching marlins, and punching people, and going to bull-fights. He still wrote like a motherfucker. So you should feel that compulsion. Even if you’re going to write terrible schlock like me.

Do you work on feature screenplays that you hope to one day get produced? Sure, I’ve written a ton of movies that have been made. I wrote a Night at the Museum 2. Me and my partner have a book on screenwriting coming out.

Is Cameron Diaz the most famous person you have acted alongside? The most famous? No. I have been in a scene with Will Smith in a movie, one time.

Is she the hottest? Oh yes. She’s really a walking boner town.

Did you make her laugh on set? We got along pretty well. I don’t know if it’s fake, I don’t think it is, because she seems like a pretty sincere person. But she’s one of those people you like right away.

It must be a good feeling to make her laugh. If you make her crack up it kind of makes you feel like you won.

Did you audition for this role? I did, and that was interesting because I didn’t originally audition for this role, I auditioned for the principal, against a lot of funny people. It was one of those auditions that you walk in and think, Oh this is a fucking bummer. Because you look around the room and all these funny guys are there at the same time, all for this part. I get really depressed.

Did you get to meet Justin Timberlake? I did, but not on set. I met him on the press tour. He’s a lovely dude.

I know you’re a music fan. Are you a fan of his music? I’m a crazy music fan. I’m obsessive. I like his music a lot. I also like his comedy a lot. He’s one of those multi-threats. My favorite work of his is probably “Motherlover.”

As someone who got their start at sketch comedy, do you wish that you had Youtube back when you were doing it? No, in fact, here’s the thing. With Funny or Die, or Youtube, or College Humor, and all these sites, I strongly suspect that my comedy group would never have existed on television. That’s what got us our start, was getting the show on MTV. But if there had been those sites at the time, why would we pursue a TV show? More people will see your video on the main page of Funny or Die in a day, than would ever see your TV show. So the landscape has changed completely.

Do you think it’s a good thing? I don’t know, it’s interesting. I just wonder what’s the motivation to try and get a TV show now, if you can just do funny stuff on the net. The only catch is that you don’t have your own TV show, which we did.

But do you need your own show these days? As a sketch group? I don’t know. For us it was really cool. It established us as a real thing. It’s like an album for a band. But I worry, I don’t know if we would have pursued it at all. I see kids that are just like what The State was, but all their stuff is internet-based.

Have you ever auditioned for SNL? I never did.

Did you come close? I never went. It probably was the dream as a kid. I moved to NY when I was 18, and the next year, I was on what was to become The State. So from the age of 19 until today, I was in The State, so it never really came up. It was certainly something that as a child I was into. I think I probably would have liked it, and it probably would have been better for my movie career, because you roll out of that show and they make 8 movies with you.

Were you disappointed when The State ended? The State never got canceled. We imploded because we just fucked up and took that CBS deal. That was an enormous disappointment. I didn’t even know until years later that MTV had offered us 65 more episodes on the air, guaranteed. I would have loved to do those 65 more episodes, because we kind of imploded right when we had hit our stride.

What advice would you give someone who came to New York, looking to break into sketch comedy? One, I would take some classes at the UCB. Two, the secret to the success of The State was we never waited for anyone to ask us to do anything, or for anyone’s approval to do anything. We just fucking did stuff. We were shooting all the time, writing all the time. We would put up a live show every couple of months. We were aggressive. If you wait around for an opportunity to come up, it’s not coming. It isn’t, ever. Opportunities are not coming. The only opportunities that are coming are the ones you create. Otherwise you are just waiting around.

You seem like you have a pretty dirty sense of humor. I don’t know. I suppose.

When you write something like Night at the Museum 2, do you need to tone things down to appeal to a broader audience? To me there is not much of a difference. My sense of humor is my sense of humor. I feel like there’s stuff in Night at the Museum and stuff in Reno 911 that if you look at them side by side, it’s just like, my sense of humor is pretty much my sense of humor. I don’t change it, other then swearing.

So you don’t write with younger audience in mind? Well, there’s certain subject matter stuff you wouldn’t do. Basically the year after Night at the Museum came out, the Reno 911 movie came out, which was almost NC-17, for sex and creepiness, we did some weird stuff in that movie. But again, my sense of humor is relatively consistent. I don’t change my mindset, really. I just don’t swear.

What about your upcoming projects? I’m doing Harold and Kumar 3D, which comes out in November.

Did you write a movie for Vin Diesel called The Machine? I did. He’s producing it and acting in it. That is our second Vin Diesel movie because we wrote The Pacifier too. The premise is similar to Being There, the old Peter Sellers movie, with an ‘80s terminator robot.

Did you have to pitch the project to Vin Diesel? We didn’t have to pitch it to him, he read the script, thought it was great, and that was that.

Have you ever thought about directing your own work? I’ve directed a few episodes of Reno 911, and honestly it doesn’t appeal to me that much. A lot of it is super unglamorous. A lot of directing is just riding around in a van, looking at shit.

Main site photo by Seth Olenick.

Cameron Diaz’s Awkward Sex Scene with Justin Timberlake Not Awkward at All

Earlier today, Cameron Diaz turned on the $20-million-a-movie star charm for reporters while promoting her upcoming fuck fest (the word, not the act), Bad Teacher (July 24). You’ve heard of it. It’s the one where Diaz stars with her ex Justin Timberlake for the first time in a movie not about a green ogre. In it, she plays a nihilistic school teacher who will steam-roll anyone and anything that dares get in the way of her and a new pair of breasts. That’s really what it’s about. Ms. Diaz strolled into the conference room to face the digital recorders wearing a peach blazer, some army green pants (very tight indeed), and a pair of sky-high gold pumps, which she must have known were my favorite kind of pumps.

It took all but five minutes for her to start unpacking her awkward sex scene with Timberlake, and although that’s what everyone will be talking about, she did manage to say other things. If you guessed that Cameron Diaz has never been embarrassed, you guessed right. Some highlights:

On her character, the bad teacher: Even though you think you should hate her, you kind of actually want to be her. Because you’re like, Hmm, if I could just have one conversation with one person where I could just say whatever I want, and even three hours later, after the endorphins wear off, not wish I hadn’t said that. She doesn’t have that. She has a total lack of self-awareness, in a spiritual and emotional sense. She’s a craft bitch, that’s the way she’s wired. Because she’s concerned with the wrong things is also why she’s emotionally vapid. That’s what I loved about her. The tiny bit of character arc she has is lost on her.

On her disturbing sex scene with Justin Timberlake: Justin and I wanted to create the least sexy sex scene ever seen on film, ever. And to show the total lack of chemistry between these two people, and I think that we succeeded. It was great to work with Justin because we’ve always loved laughing together. Yes, we went out, and yes, people think, Oh, shouldn’t that be awkward? It really isn’t. We’re friends. We haven’t gone out with each other for as long as we were together. But we know each other so well, and we have allowed our friendship and our love to totally morph and change into something completely appropriate for us to do this with one another. We love to make people laugh, we both feel privileged and blessed to be able to make movies, and to be able to do that with someone you know you can do that with, and have fun doing it, and you trust them completely, and there’s no questions, and no worries and boundary issued, because you know what the deal is, it’s the perfect person to do something like that with. It wouldn’t have been the same to do it with someone else.

On embarrassing high school memories: I don’t really have any embarrassing high school memories. I was modeling in high school, so I had already lived by myself when I was 16, in Japan for a summer. You can’t embarrass me, even before high school. It was not the way I’m wired. I laugh at myself well before anyone can laugh at me, so I rarely get embarrassed. Clearly that’s why I can do stupid things.

‘Bad Teacher’ Trailer: The Role Cameron Diaz Was Born to Play

Can you believe it’s been 13 years since Cameron Diaz charmed her way onto the A-List in There’s Something About Mary, that sweet but raunchy role in a sweet but raunchy movie? Since then, she’s tried to do the movie star thing as an action hero in the Charlie’s Angels movies, play a romantic lead in films like The Holiday, and be your daughter’s bestie in the Shrek franchise. Finally, with the release of the Bad Teacher red-band trailer, Diaz is back to being raunchy, without so much of the sweet, and it works for her.

In the film — which will try and distinguish itself from a summer of sequels and superheroes on June 24 — Diaz plays an elementary school teacher “who just doesn’t give an F.” Justin Timberlake, the actor, costars alongside his ex-girlfriend as a nerdy teacher and heir. (The singer Justin Timberlake makes a cameo appearance in a scene involving a microphone and a guitar.) Also on board are Jason Segel as a hapless gym teacher, and Phyllis from The Office as Phyllis from The Office. Smart move on behalf of the marketers for releasing the R-rated trailer first, because seeing Diaz say things like “Fuck my ass” and “I want to sit on his face” is a marvelous pleasure that no one should be deprived of. Welcome back girl!