Second City Spoofs Mary J. Blige Burger King Commercials

If the confusing racial undertones of those pulled Burger King commercials featuring Mary J. Blige threw you off, you’re not alone. Burger King was swift to go back to the drawing board in an attempt to save face, removing the commercial from the internet (though some copies survived, as you can see). Fortunately, Chicago’s Second City unearthed a handful of other concepts that Burger King didn’t use, which they’ve fortunately reproduced in a very amusing sketch. Watch it after the click, before it gets all types of viral on your Twitter and Facebooks.

The random guy hoisting the Notorious B.I.G. portrait up and down is seriously the best. Maybe they’re being a little hard on Burger King, who definitely didn’t think their silly little ad would get so much attention in the wrong kind of way. But no, probably not. 

Morning Links: Burger King Apologizes To Mary J. Blige, Sea Change At ‘SNL’

● Mary J. Blige bemoaned yesterday that her pulled "crispy chicken, fresh lettuce" Burger King commercial was not the "fun and creative campaign" she had signed up for. Burger King meanwhile apologized to Blige and her fans for airing the ad "prematurely," adding that they hope to have the final spot on air soon. [Rap-Up]

● The final autopsy report from the LA County’s Coroner’s Office adds grim details to Whitney Houston’s final moments, but upholds earlier findings that her cause of death was accidental drowning caused by heart disease and cocaine use. [TMZ]

● Rumor has it that Saturday Night Live‘s Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Jason Sudeikis are jumping ship at the end of this season. [Us]

● It seems that Jake Gyllenhaal has become something of a teacher’s pet in his spin classes, often winning himself a seat on stage next to the teacher where he raps along to Jay-Z without breaking an additional sweat. [PageSix]

● Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Caviezel, and, as of yesterday, Amy Ryan, 50 Cent, Snatch‘s Vinnie Jones, and Law and Order‘s Vincent D’Onofrio have all been cast in director Mikael Hafstrom’s The Tomb, a movie about — well, with that motley cast, does it even matter? [Variety]

Burger King to Roll Out Food Trucks

Then came last year, when the King lost its throne as the No. 2 fast food chain to a certain pigtailed usurper known as Wendy’s. In an effort to reclaim the kingdom, Burger King is in the midst of a rebranding, which includes high-profile celebrity spokespeople like David Beckham, Steven Tyler, Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara and Mary J. Blige, who sings about the joys of the new crispy chicken snack wraps to the tune of one of her new jams. They’ve added a ton of new menu items, too, going the way of other attempting-to-be-sort-of-health-conscious chains with the fruit smoothies and salads on the menu.

And then there’s the other phase of the rebranding: Burger King going mobile. In the greatest testament to American indulgence and demand for instant gratification since the Domino’s Pizza Tracker, BK announced a home delivery service in January (but only to customers that live 10 minutes away or less). And now, it seems they’ll be jumping on the food truck bandwagon as well: to showcase the overhauled menu and fancy new dippin’ sauces (kung pao! roasted jalapeño!), Burger King food trucks will be unleashed starting April 18th to give the people a chance to sample their wares. Although this seems like just a gimmick for now, it does make us wonder about the possibility of a future alternate universe where Burger King competes for territory with the artisanal banh mi and fish taco joints in a Jets/Sharks sort of situation.

Watch Clive Owen’s ‘Delicioso’ Spanish Burger King Ad

A celebrity going oversees to film commercials is nothing new. It gives him or her the opportunity to be a mindless shill without damaging their sterling reputations here in the States. Thanks to YouTube, those days of backlash-free selling-out may be over. Example numero uno: Clive Owen’s Spanish Burger King commercial. Take a look at it after the jump. 

Clive didn’t take the time to learn Spanish for the role, so they dubbed over his Queen’s English.  The result looks like the director used the old Mr. Ed trick and coated his mouth with peanut butter to make it move. ¡Delicioso!

While it’s easy to make fun of Clive Owen for this cheesy Burger King commercial, it was even easier for him to earn an abhorrent sum of money from making it. Felicitaciones, señor Owen.

[via The Inspiration Room]

Burger King’s Whopper Bar Unleashes the New York Pizza Burger

In case you haven’t heard, Burger King is hoping to step it up a notch with a chain of higher-end restaurants called the Whopper Bar. With locations in Orlando, Miami, and New York, the unique BK offspring sell fancier burgers and will eventually offer beer, since it wouldn’t be a proper bar without it. But the Times Square location alone will offer the New York Pizza Burger, a ground meat monstrosity made of four patties, loaded with cheese, marinara sauce, and pepperoni, and cut into pizza-like slices — the biggest fast food innovation since the KFC Double Down. Last night, the Times Square Whopper Bar invited members of the press to sample the new dish and check out some of the other Whopper Bar exclusives.

From the outside, the Whopper Bar looks like any other Burger King. When you walk inside, it smells like household cleansers, which we’re assuming is also normal for the chain. Full disclosure: I haven’t been inside a Burger King in years. I can probably count the number of times I’ve eaten fast food on one hand, (growing up I was taught it was a direct cause of several life-shortening diseases), so I employed my good friend Nate to come with me. Like other normal American children, Nate grew up eating the pancake-thin, extra-wide burgers known as Whoppers.

The Whopper Bar menu features the classic Whopper, build-your-own Whoppers, and Whoppers fancied up with ingredients like guacamole, blue cheese, and bourbon sauce. And then, of course, there’s the NY Pizza Burger. While it was funny seeing avocados on a BK menu, the most startling part of the whole experience was the fact that we were led to a tablecloth-draped table by a friendly, twenty-something press rep and had our food (three burgers plus the pizza burger) delivered to us. It just didn’t feel like Burger King. Taste-tester Nate had similar things to say about the food. Here are his reactions:

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The California

“The guacamole was weak, didn’t have much flavor. It was thin. And it didn’t have a Whopper taste. To me it wasn’t a Whopper. It was a burger with guacamole. My least favorite.”

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The Meat Beast

“Actually pretty good. It tasted just like the Whopper except that it added pepperoni. I’m not generally a fan of adding meats to a burger, but it had a nice pepperoni flavor that enhanced the Whopper taste.”

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BK Black and Bleu Steakhouse XT

“A completely different burger from the Whopper. Tasted more like a restaurant burger. The blue cheese was really good. The bacon seemed like it was thicker than the bacon on the Meat Beast. If I got this at a place like Chili’s I would be more than happy with it.”

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Pizza Burger

“Like Burger King meets roller rink pizza. I feel like it needed something else. There was a lot of cheese and a lot of sauce. It could have used some other toppings to balance that all out. And that mysterious Tuscan Sauce tastes a lot like pesto.”

We admire Burger King’s efforts to capitalize on the success of their most popular sandwich, but we’re betting New Yorkers have other places to get their gourmet burger fix. And after the novelty of the pizza burger wears off, BK regulars will stick to ordering what they’ve been getting their entire lives: the classic Whopper.

Slashers Shill for Burger King

Taco Bell has for some time now made a point of reminding co(r)nsumers, mostly via their “Fourth Meal” campaign, that they’re keeping late hours for all the nightcrawlers out there, and now it looks as if Burger King wants to scare up some action in the wee hours as well. But you wont see the franchise’s latest, creepiest pitchman, The Burger King, featured in the relevant ads. Rather, they’ve decided to tap some contempo-classic horror villains to shill for them. I’m not sure these things make me in the least bit hungry, but they’re at least chuckle-worthy. More images after the jump.

Chucky, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and even the long-faced killer from the Scream movies are all depicted having a late-night nosh, courtesy of Dubai-based ad agency Tonic. Too bad they couldn’t get Michael Myers, Leatherface, and Hellraiser’s Pinhead.

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Burger King Discovers Allure of Burgers and Beer

Love Burger King’s all-beef burgers but hate taking time out of your busy drinking schedule to eat them? Your prayers have been answered! Last Friday, Burger King announced it would open a “Whopper Bar” in South Beach, Miami next month, serving the delicious meat sandwiches you crave alongside the alcohol you need to dull the pain of modern life 24/7. Like most things in Miami, it will be frighteningly blingtastic, with 20 tangy sauces displayed in a super-classy “visible toppings theater.” To combat any charges of Frenchness (after all, the Europeans did it first), the beers served will be all-American. “That adds a new element to the Burger King brand,” analyst Tom Forte said of the idea. “It also creates a different mystique for going to a Whopper Bar versus a traditional restaurant.” Because nothing says “mystique” like Budlight Lime!

(‘DiggThis’)According to Forte, “edgier” brands like the subversive Carl’s Jr. (or should I say, Karl’s?) and that den of iniquity Jack-in-the-Box might be next to follow suit. Is this the next big thing for American fast food? Will letting people get shit faced in the Play Place ruin the down home, Palin-esque, family values image of restaurants like McDonald’s and Dairy Queen? Will the presence of alcohol in close proximity to Happy Meals turn our chubby kids into even chubbier boozehounds? To which I say: The world’s imploding around us; none of us are ever getting real jobs again; we can only afford non-food items such as Big Macs; everything will cease to be in 2012, anyway; might as well have a beer. These are lessons children should learn sooner than later.